Wednesday, October 17, 2012

This Is What I Do

I've told y'all that I'm a host before. And just like every other job, sometimes it's frustrating. Most often the customers are the ones that drive me bananas. I probably shouldn't be posting this but I'm going to anyway.

First thing - DON'T tell me you want a booth after I've already taken you to your seat. Come on! If you want a booth you need to tell us before because we follow a rotation. And then we have to try and figure out which server has a booth and who's going to take you. I know booths are more comfortable, but shit, you'll get food wherever you sit.

And that brings me to this...Don't be so picky about where you sit. Seriously....I don't want this table, it's in the middle of the room. Wahhhh. Cry about it. I don't like this room, let's go to a different one. This table is too big...I get that one a lot. OG has at least 2 tables that seat 6 in every room...sometimes those will be the only tables left and people refuse to sit there. Or they'll say "Well, there's only two of us, are you sure you want to use this huge table for us..." Yeah bitch, I'm sure. I wouldn't have brought you here if I had something smaller. tastes the same no matter where you sit.

Don't be rude to me. This encompasses sooooo many people. Like the people who think I'm dumb because I work at a restaurant. I'll ask for a name, and this is the response I get most of the time..."It's Anna, A-N-N-A." Ok, seriously? I do know how to spell. Don't treat me like a moron please. I work here because I chose to, not because I'm illiterate and don't have any other options. How about the people that refuse to talk to me. They're my favorite. They'll be walking out and I'll ask how their dinner was or tell them to have a great night and they refuse to acknowledge me. It's super sweet. They'll look right at me and keep walking. HELLOOOOO I'm a person...say something. lol. It's a good thing I have a filter or I wouldn't have a job.

Why do people come in and get mad if there's a wait? Hello, it's 630 on a Saturday night...what the hell else did you expect? They get all huffy and puffy about it. And then there's the person who gets mad because there's nobody ahead of them but they have to wait...ok here let me help you think of something...maybe I just sat my last open table. Please take your frumpiness about waiting for five minutes out my door. Come back in with a nice attitude please.

What's that you need a private area away from children...I know that's called YOUR HOUSE! Don't come to a restaurant expecting to be seated away from kids. Especially because it's a damn family restaurant. As for a "private" area....ummmm yeah let me just put each person who wants to eat in peace and suck face by themselves....wait...I DON'T HAVE ROOM FOR THAT! Sorry about your's your anniversary and you want to enjoy some quiet time with you significant other...ummmm they make hotel rooms. =)

I'm not your server. I don't get your money. Please don't tell me everything you want. I'll be more than glad to help you out a little...but I can't take your orders...I need to go back up front and seat some more people before they freak out and throw something at me.

You over there...stop letting your 2 year old run around this place. I have servers walking around with huge trays that are extremely heavy and have hot food and plates on them. I don't want little Tarzan to get hurt so step up and act like a mom lady. Yeah, it's cute the first time...after the 6th time though, I'm trying my hardest not to scream at you.

Yep...we still allow smoking...because this is the midwest. Smokers get to enjoy their fettuccine alfredo just as much as you. Yeah, I'll seat your far away from it. Don't roll your eyes at me when I ask if you have a smoking preference...just tell me non. It's not a big deal. And don't fake cough all the way to your seat as we're passing the smoking area. Get a life.

Look, this is the only interaction I get with people so please try and talk with me as we're walking to your seat. I'm not talking to hear myself. I'm trying to be friendly. And if you don't want to talk...well just give me a one word answer when I ask how your day has been. I'll get it from there. We don't have to talk but don't ignore me when I try and be polite. And get off your damn're here with people and you should pay attention to them.

Oh you have between 10 and 20 people coming in! Well that doesn't help me any. I need to know the closest number you can give me because I have to know which tables to set up and how many servers are going to be needed. And then there's more of you then you said and there isn't enough room...well shucks! Squeeze in because we have no place else to go! Hahahahaha.

Quite the rant...I know. But I really do like my job. Sometimes people just suck. I can't vent to them so lucky me it's stuck in my head all night. And I thought I would share with you fine people =) If I offended you, I'm sorry. I know there's exceptions to every rule! But fuck sometimes these people drive me crazy. - I'm outta here, bitches. Seat your own damn selves. ...every host ever...


Jamie said...

Working in customer service is so annoying some times.

Tiffanie A said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! I love this post!!!!