Wednesday, March 28, 2012

More than 24 Hours :)

So, as of 9:30 am this morning I have been cigarette free for 24 hours! A whole day. That really makes me happy. I have only smoked for three years, so to me that made it a little easier.

In just this year, both my aunt and one of my uncles have quit smoking. My aunt used Chantix to quit and my uncle just quit cold turkey. She had smoked for 20+ years, so I was really excited for her when she finally made the decision to quit. My uncle had smoked for about 10 years, again, being really happy for him. Especially because he just quit cold turkey. I don't think I would have the will power to do that. I chose to do Chantix like my aunt.

Chantix is a smoking cessation pill that helps you wean yourself off of cigarettes slowly. It starts out with .5 mg pill once a day for three days and then you move on to .5 mg pill twice a day for the rest of the week. After that week, you start to take a 1 mg pill twice a day and continue on for about 12 weeks or for however long you feel that you need it. It sends signals to your brain receptors telling them that you don't want or need nicotine. It makes cigarettes taste and smell terrible. I got used to it though and continued to smoke. Chantix is known for some side effects such as depression, weight gain, vivid dreams or nightmares, and fatigue just to name a few. I know those all sound terrible ( to me they were..more on that later), but in the long scheme of things it's worth it to quit smoking.

However, I felt that Chantix and I just weren't working. Yeah, it made the cigarettes taste bad, but I could still smoke one. Actually, I could only smoke half of one, good for me! The pill helped me gain 4 pounds which I'm pretty pissed off about. I have some body issues and this just wasn't something I wanted to deal with. It also made me sick when I started taking the higher doses. I actually threw up the other night at work because of it. That was the final straw for me. The same day I quit smoking was the same day I quit Chantix. And I already feel a little bit better. Now it's all on me. I ran out of cigarettes and just promised myself not to go buy another pack. The end.

Now, more to the back story that helped me quit. I had already said I was going to quit sometime this year, but wasn't quite sure when. I was just going with the flow and I would quit when the time felt right. One day I was at lunch with somebody very close to me when they told me that they had lung cancer. That was my moment. I told them that I was going to quit. Now, there lung cancer is very small and they have amazing odds. It still made me really sad hearing all that. That's my motivation right there.

This is a list of things that happen to your body so long after you quit smoking. I have to say, I feel like I have more energy since that time yesterday. I don't know if quitting smoking is the reason, but I'm gonna pretend and say that it is. lol.

For more information on quitting there are many things you can do. Talking to your doctor is a good start. you have to do this if you want to get on Chantix because it's prescription only. There's a lot of good websites to help you quit. www.quitsmokingsupport is a a good site that I found. As is However, the most important thing to remember when quitting is always ask for help from family and friends. Anybody that puts you down for trying to quit isn't a friend. They're an asshole.

So...go ahead and quit. You'll feel so much better. I encourage you to think about it. Come here for help and encouragement if you want it. Just take the time to think about it at least.....and all that good stuff =)

Monday, March 26, 2012

It's Good To Be Back

Ok, I thought I might actually enjoy time away from this blog, but in reality, it wasn't so great. I was so eager to read other people's blogs and for some comments to be made on mine. I'm soooo glad to be back.

I want to talk about happiness. What makes people happy? What makes you happy? Do you ever feel that you're not happy enough??

I've had a feeling creeping upon me lately that I'm unhappy. At first glance in my life people wouldn't be able to see it and they would ask why. I know this. I know everything looks great, but something is missing and I need to fill that void to get back on track to MY happiness.

My is in caps because I care about everybody else's happiness more than my own it seems. If someone I care about isn't happy, I try and fix it. Even if that means making myself suffer. It's just who I am and it feels good at the time. After awhile though, it takes a toll. Being backseated in your own life isn't good for anybody. It can start to leave you feeling unhappy.

Anyway, I want to find my happiness again. I just don't know what to do. I don't really know what's missing, just somethings. One thing for sure is that I don't do enough for me. I want and need to do more for myself. I don't have any hobbies anymore. I hate that!! I'm trying to find a hobby that I could enjoy. A couple ideas I have are photography, running, and this blog-well any blog really. I just can't get started in any of them. I've also started to journal to be happier. Again, this hasn't really gone over well. I've written in it once since I got it last month. It all falls back on being a procrastinator or just plain out lazy.  I don't know which it really is.

So readers, what makes you happy?? Share your ideas because I could end up loving them, and because comments make me reallllyyyyyyyyy happy!

Have a great week and all that good stuff!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

A Letter to My Daughter

"My universe will never be the same, I'm glad you came,I'm glad you came." - The Wanted "Glad You Came"

I think those are the most perfect lyrics to describe how I feel about my daughter on this very special day...her birthday! I know that the song is about a different kind of relationship then the one I have with my daughter, but it just feels right ya know.

I have decided that every year on her birthday-starting with this one- that I'll write her a letter. So here it goes.

My princess, pumpkin, monkey, little person, and my favorite, baby. Today you're four. What a crazy thing to say. Four years ago you changed the world when you came out with chubby little cheeks. I never realized what an impact it would be. I was young to say the least. But, I wouldn't have it any other way.

This past year you have grown in so many ways. Physically, I swear you got two feet taller. Your hair has grown so long and curly. You've gotten more beautiful as your smile becomes more defined. But growing physically, isn't really a lot of the fun stuff. You've become even more of  a shining beam of light this year. You've gotten so smart, loving, and fun. I can see how much you've learned from your year of preschools from watching you begin to write your name to finally learning how to pedal your bike. You've become more social and you love to love people. I can see it in your face anytime I come home from work. You look so happy to see me. You love to take care of your family and friends, and this has made you so sweet. Your personality has really taken off. You'll be a ray of sunshine, I can already tell.

I don't know what life would be like without you, and honestly,I probably don't want to know. You make me so proud. It's not been the easiest ride for us, not that it's been terribly hard either, but we'll get there. When you reach over and hold my hand, my heart melts. In that one second I am overcome with love and could probably melt into a puddle. You my dear, are the love of my life. Forever and always. You give me joy and strength. You help me see the world in a new light. I couldn't ask for anything better.

Love always,

The day you were born

7 Months, First Halloween

Around 1

Sometime at 2

And the lovely 3

And today at 4!

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Comfort Food

As I sit here on this rainy Sunday afternoon not feeling well and wanting nothing more than to stop being sick for a couple of weeks, I eat a bowl of pot roast. And it is delicious. It brings back warm fuzzy memories of family get togethers and Sunday dinners. And for a little while, I feel a little bit better.

That, my dear readers, is my definition of comfort food.

Who doesn't love comfort foods? They take you back. They make you feel like a child again. They make you feel all is right in the world. Probably one of everybody's favorite things, comfort foods is all that and a bag of potato chips. Loll.

The smells that bring you joy and surround the house with wonderful scents all day long only make you want them more. They don't only make your stomach full; they leave your heart full of happiness and being content for the time being.

As much as we may not get to eat them, they hit the spot every time. Comfort foods always leave you longing for more. Comfort food is the reason gluttony exists. Over eating them is guaranteed. Leaving you with a full belly, you don't mind and can easily drift off to sleep.

My comfort foods are pretty typical. A savory pot roast with potatoes, my grandma's thick potato soup full of so many different flavors, my momma's one of a kind meatloaf without anything I don't like, my dad's warm cheese dip that brings back many football Sunday memories, and last, but definitely not least, macaroni and cheese. There are many more, don't get me wrong, but these are the ones that leave me with the best memories.

So readers, what do you savor? What makes you feel like a child again, bringing back warm happy thoughts? Feel free to let me know, because some of those might just join my list.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012


So, I have learned this year that people don't RSVP anymore. My 21 birthday was in February and my aunt threw me a party. It was a big deal and people really needed to RSVP to make sure that there was room with what we were doing. We never heard a thing from anybody. I had to call and text all of my friends to find out if they were coming. Never once did anybody bother. Now, my daughter's birthday is coming up. And of course, I haven't heard a thing from anybody and the party is on Saturday. UGHHHH.

An RSVP is a reply to an ivitation. I figure most people know that. Here is an article on how important RSVPing etiquette is. I found this on, about the importance of RSVP'ing. There are many reasons why RSVP'ing is important. The host of the party needs to know how many people are coming so they can decide on many factors. They need to know how much food they need, how big of a space they need, if they should even have the party at all. It is a big deal. The host probably doesn't want to spend extra money if there isn't a need to, and they probably don't want to not have enough of anything for people. Extra people showing up can actually be worse than not enough people coming.

Hopefully, I have a big enough cake and not more children then I plan on at my daughter's party. Manners and ettiquette are both exciting topics for me. I love them. And since I love them so much, I follow them. I understand that manners aren't everything to some people, and that's ok. However, if a person puts RSVP on an ivitation, then you should reply dammit! Just to be courteous at the least. I don't want to have to not accept you at the door of some party I throw because you didn't reply and I didn't plan for you but you show up anyway. However, maybe that's what people need to start doing. Maybe others would get the hint!

Sunday, March 4, 2012


Yes, I know that the title is bold and that is normallly associated with screaming online. Well, I am screaming in my head.

I don' know what my daughter's deal is tonight, but she was doing everything in her power to not go to bed. Normally, when I say bedtime, she's in bed in under two minutes. Not tonight. Thirty minutes ago I told her it was bed time. She didn't budge off the couch and kept watching tv. So, not in the mood to fight, I let her lay on the couch. At the next commercial, I said ok, time to go to bed. I made her a bed on the floor, because we are staying at my boyfriend's tonight and they are getting new carpet, so all the furniture is gone. Normally, she sleeps on a lazy boy when we're here, or on the couch with me. I told her I loved her and sweet dreams, but she didn't lay down. She decided she needed to spin in circles like a ballerina. GO TO BED. She lays the wrong way on her pillow with her body off of the blankets on the floor and wallers all over the floor. GO TO BED. She sits down and spins in circles, GO TO BED. By now, I'm yelling. I hate to yell at her. I feel that it doesn't really do anything but make people upset, which isn't what we need. She finally lays down. I'm sitting on the couch right above her reading blogs from last week and she starts humming-loudly. GO TO BED NOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!! ( I just say this in my head this time). The hums I just ignored and now....she's peacefully sleeping.

I don't know what her deal was, but jeeeeez....It's a good thing she's cute and I love her! lol.

When kids sleep they look so innocent and peaceful. I could watch her sleep all night....And all that good stuff.
Please ignore the grainyness....I have an outdated iPhone.