A Kinda Sorta Resolution

Resolutions...everybody has them, not many people follow through on them. I'm one of the former latter. I wait until New Year's Day and then make some bullshit resolutions to "make my life better." Blah blah blah.

Well, as of last year, I gave up

on resolutions. I did choose a word of the year last year, and I did great with that word for the beginning of the year. I think if I do that again, I will make a plan as how to follow it. Or maybe I'll choose different words for different months. Who knows. Anyway...it wasn't perfect but it was better than making a resolution.

This year, I'm back to making a resolution. Except, it's not really. This year I'm going back to school. Yes, I made a reference about how I never went to class yesterday. I shall change that. 

As I've said before, I've never known what I wanted to do with my life. I went to school for 4 years and I'm still 8 billion credits away from graduating. I think it was a combination of things such as I couldn't stand the school I was at and I didn't know what I wanted to do. I started as a business and comm major, then I switched to PR, then I switched to undecided, then I went back to business, and last but not least I wanted to be a paralegal. Yeah, that's a headache for me to remember to.

I've always been interested in the medical field. But not the blood, guts, and gore end of it. I can't handle that shit. I wondered about Hospital Admin but I realized that you never really get time off and that's not what I wanted to do with a child. And there was nothing else I could think to do. Until Christmas time. I decided that I want to back to school to be a pharmacy tech. I can't explain why I think it sounds like fun. It just does. It's not a job that I wanted where I can sit in my office and blog during the day (maybe someday I'll have one of those), but it is the job I wanted in the sense that I'm not doing the same exact thing everyday and I'll be busy on my feet all day. 

There are 3 schools in my area that have pharmacy tech certificates. I have one that I'm waiting for them to call me back. It's also the one I really want to go. But it depends on $$$ too. I want to get a new car this year, and I don't want to have to choose between the two. 

So yeah, that's what I'm gonna do with my life. For now anyway. Who knows where I'll be in 5 years.

That's for my dad. He loves Adam Sandler and watching Billy Madison is always something that reminds me of him. And the fact that he really wanted me to go back to school. 

Your New Year's Resolutions Are Doomed To Fail

Writing the first sentence of a blog is always hard. ALWAYS. So is the damn title. And yeah, the title of this is negative, but it made you want to read didn't it?? 

I have a special guest blogger today...my dad!

He needs more pictures of himself. Gahhhh!

 I know...guest blogging, it makes you want to quit reading right here. But with that title how could you not keep reading?? It's long...just a forewarning. My dad is an amazing writer though (maybe I'm biased) so it's worth reading...just keep going. 

Here it is....

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A long- time customer of mine owns a gym. Every January 2 the gym is totally overrun by people who have been pretending they want to get in shape all year and have suddenly decided that it’s time to get started because the date changed. They tie up all the equipment, take up all the space,and monopolize the employees.

His regulars call the new comers ‘resolutionistas’. The regulars tolerate them because they know what happens- over the course of the month fewer and fewer of the new-comers appear. By President’s Day they have all faded away, and its back to the same old same crew again. Every year. Like clockwork.

The owner LOVES the resolutinistas. They allow him to overbook the gym during January, and they continue to pay their monthly fees long after they quit showing up. They’re the perfect customer. And then in April or May, when their significant other says “I thought you were going to get in shape this year,” they feel a little shame, and mumble something about how they are really going to do it next January. That’s the New Year’s Resolution Two Step- failing at whatever the resolution was, and then feeling shitty about the failure.

I probably sound like a bit of a prick, talking shit about people who are just trying to improve themselves. I’m not. It’s the process I hate- I hate New Year’s Resolutions. If someone were to track the nationwide resolution failure rate it would probably be 99.9995%. And each failure leads to someone walking around feeling like a shitbag, thinking “I’m never going to (lose weight/ quit smoking/ get in shape/ learn French).

There’s a better way. And there’s still time to get started.

January is a bad month to start anything new. We just finished a month long frenzy of calories and consumption- it’s doubtful there was much time spent in December on self-reflection, a requirement for changing habitual behavior or undertaking something new.

So that’s what January is for. I spend January thinking about one or two things I want to change or a new subject I want to learn about. And the number is important- if it is more than one or two things, you are guaranteeing failure. People who start the New Year with a laundry list of ten things they want to change about themselves shouldn’t even bother trying. Changing ingrained habits is incredibly hard; you are messing with the hard-wiring of your brain. And if you are trying to rid yourself of an addiction, whether it be heroin or hot dogs you are going to undergo a lot of pain. Trying to do that a learn the banjo at the same time is an exercise in futility.

Once you know what you want to do, refine it. Saying “I want to lose weight” or “I want learn to cook” is just dreaming. A goal has to have specificity- I am going to lose 25 pounds, I am going to reduce my body fat by 10%, I am going to learn to play jazz flute at a Jr. High level. You also need a deadline. If you are determined to lose forty pounds, great. But remember- it is going to be very hard. Without a deadline to give your goal a sense of urgency and a finish line you’ll never get there. “I am going to get a $200 a week raise by September 1, I am going to lose 15 pounds before bathing suit season, I am going to be able to bench 300 pounds by my twenty-fifth birthday.

Now we’re at the end of January. You have one or two goals, they are specific, and you know what the deadline is. Use the month of February to slowly establish the behaviors and habits that are going to get you to your goal by your deadline. Remember, you want your brain on your side in this. If you have been eating 2500 calories a day for the last 20 years and suddenly you drop down to 1200 calories all at once, your brain is going to panic. (This is why fad diets don’t work. Your brain senses the sudden large drop in caloric intake or elimination of essential nutrients and sends urgent ‘gorge yourself or die’ signals to all of your nerve endings. Will power is no match for three billion years of evolution. Smaller portions, less sugar and more exercise don’t cause your brain distress.)  Likewise, if you have being feeding your brain's receptors nicotine twenty times a day for ten years and suddenly stop they are going to react by withholding the release of chemicals that make you feel happy, healthy and wise. Rapid changes are jarring. If you make slow, daily changes you’ll get used to it and the change will be less painful

By the first part of March you have had enough time to begin your new behavior without alarming your body and brain. It’s all downhill from here, right? Wrong. Changing habitual behavior or learning new tricks beyond the age of twelve is haaard. It is going to hurt. There will be times you want to cry. There may be times you will cry. If you fully understand the price of your goal and find yourself waffling, it’s best not to pursue it, because you are probably not going to make it. It’s best to know early if it turns out you’re not willing to pay the price.

But if you are, here’s a path you can follow that gives you the best chance of making the finish line.

A quick note about Chloe’s Dad- I live out in the wilds of Northeast Oklahoma with my wife Brandy, our dog Baylee, and four cats. I’m blessed with the visits of three daughters and two granddaughters. I work for a company that help’s locally-owned businesses manage their electronic payments. This month I am starting a new business, B&B Midwest that will continue to provide that service, plus several others. You can read my business thoughts at my blog, SEKcreditcardguy.blogspot.com.

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There ya have it cupcakes, my first guest post, from my awesome dad! Yeah, it may have sounded negative at first, but the man has a point. And I haven't started any of my resolutions. How about you? I mean there are a couple I've done - but for the most part this hits the hammer on the head. (That's a saying right?) So I'm taking the rest of January to gather my thoughts, write it down, and make a plan. And if you haven't really started either....well now you know that it's never too late! 

Personal Resolutions

First of all...this might be a little long. I'm sorry! I need to see this in writing so I can do what I say I will. I'm even going to have this printed and with me at all times. Here we go...

- I'm at my heaviest right now. I will loose weight this year. Yes, I do say this every year, but being at my heaviest, I'm going to do something about it. I'm done with this. I asked for a gym membership for christmas this year and I got one! I will start to exercise. I have to. My goal is to be two sizes smaller by June. That's 6 months. I can do that. That's plenty of time. I'm going to eat better. I'm still going to eat out, I can guarantee it. However, I won't do it as much as I do now. And my choices will be healthier. Yep, sometimes I'll cheat because dammit, a piece of chocolate cake is too hard to resist. My portions will be smaller. Hello kids meals! Plus I get a free toy - Score!

-  I'm going to become more organized. For my daughter and my mind. I'm tired of feeling lost and almost drowning because of our disorganization. I'm going to have monthly,weekly, and daily to do lists. I'll use one of my planners to keep track of this! See, having an addiction to paper/stationary/business supplies is a good thing. My monthly goals will still go up on here. I'll break them down to smaller goals for the week and complete them as a daily goal. Sounds a little confusing but I know what the hell I'm talking about. That's what matters.

Get more financially stable than I am now. Ha!,  I've got a ways to go. I'll miss shopping.
 - Pay half of my credit card off. I would like that to happen by June as well, but November is ok too.
 - Put $30 a month into my savings. I have the money transferred every pay day but sometimes I have to take it back out.

Get my ass in a different vehicle! Or at least make mine cheaper. I'm tired of shit being wrong with my car all the time. If I can pay less for it though, I can save for a down payment on another car. All I've got right now is my trade in value (I'm upside down already) it's not very much.

Do a load of laundry a week. I know that this doesn't sound like much but I hardly ever do laundry. It's terrible I know. It's just so time consuming when you have as much as I do right now. If I could get it all done it wouldn't be that bad.

Buy birthday cards for those close to me at the beginning of each month. My grandma does this and I've always admired it. Who doesn't like mail, especially when it's not a bill. People will feel great and so will I, I love giving people things and I love cards.

Have "me time". That might sound a little selfish, but really it's not. Once a month I will do something by myself for myself that I makes me feel good. Hair, manicure, pedi, shopping trip, who knows! I will get up early enough to have quiet time in the morning. I'm going to follow this schedule for sure. I just don't know if I will add more time to it. =)

Read one book a month. At least. From my book list because someday I'd like to get it done. I'll do another post about it in early January. Who even remembers what I put on that shit.

Family Resolutions

Make a photo book for 2013. I'm going to try and make one of 2012 in the beginning of the year.

Start the little's birthday interview/first day of school book.

 Have a girl's night with mini me once a month. Dinner where ever she picks, then a fun activity for us to do. Sounds great!