Wednesday, June 12, 2013

What I'm Thinking...

I've officially been a big girl and served by myself for a week now. Go me. I guess. lol. The whole time I'm serving I have a steady stream of thoughts running rhough my mind. And I thought I would share those with you today. Boom!

" Let's make money!!!"

"I don't want too many tables, I still want to be able to do well."

"Dammit, Danielle (my favorite hostess with the mostess), why did you seat me again?!?!"

"SMILE, bitch."

"Oh great, they want soup and salad. Woohoo let's run our asses off for hardly any tip."

" Why is the damn soup empty. *Yells to the kitchen* We NEED zupa!"

5 minutes later "What the fuck. This lady needs her soup. Why are you being so fucking slow, are you personally making the sausage for the soup today?"

"Finally got my soup. Wooo. Don't slosh it all over the bowl. Be careful. Walk slow."

"I don't want to be on a party. I've been doing this for 4 days. Dammit Karla." (the wonderful hostess with the mostess that trained me. She's great.)

"Breathe, don't let those tears fall out of your eyes. Get your shit together right now."

"This table makes me uncomfortable. I know what I'm doing. Fuck, maybe I don't"

"I totally have this."

"I'm on short side, weird."

"Everything is backwards over here. AHHHHH"

"Great, this lady complained her salad was too small. It was proportioned out right!"

"Mango tea...we don't have that. EWWWW we're putting thick ass mango syrup in it. Yuck"

"Now she doesn't like her food. I can handle this."

"Great, teenagers. Thanks for the $3 tip on the $65 dollar ticket. I hope your mom and dad make you work in a restaurant. Brats"

"Complaining lady and her man friend love me. Sweet!"

"Oh yay, a lady and her two year old who want soup and salad for dinner...I'll be nice and not charge her for her two year old who won't even take more than 2 bites of anything."

"Thanks for the $2 tip lady with the two year old. Glad that you were gracious enough for two whole dollars. Next time I won't do you any favors."

"Is it time to go home yet?"

"NO, I don't want to be on your damn party. I was off for three days and I'm rusty. Fuck."

"Ohhhh they complimented me to the manager and left me a nice tip. Thank you weird mango tea lady!"

"When am I gonna be phased?"

"Gawww...who needs to exercise when they can be a server. My fucking body hurts. My bra is soaking wet from the sweat. I hate boob sweat."

"I need a shower. I feel like I'm in a wet t-shirt contest."

"Is it time to go, is the back door open for a break?"

"Ahhh I got my phase slip and the door is open, break time!"

"Now I need to clean my section, oh look, they're sitting another server here! Score, I don't have to clean today."

"Count my monies...not the best day. Oh well."

"Peace out OG!"


Anonymous said...

Oh god, you're bringing back memories, stop it! Hahaha serving is the worst, people are bitches even if you're nice to them!

Stephanie said...

Bahahaha I'm stressed out just hearing about it!!

Jordan said...

You're a better woman than I, I don't know how I would handle serving!

Ali said...

Ok I have to ask.. what is a phone slip?