Thursday, December 20, 2012

I Don't Know What Cha Heard About Me

I don't have shit to talk about. How unreal right? I have a dozen posts drafted but they are planned for after Christmas. So, yeah. Here's 10 fun facts about yours truly!

One - I love boobs. My boobs, your boobs, her boobs...-but not his boobs. Seriously though. I love them. When I get drunk I like to ask to see boobs. I annoy people to the point that they flash me and then I'm happy. lol. Some people are willing though. So now you know, if I was a guy I would be a tit guy. Yep.

Two - I hate foods that have a weird texture. Mainly fruits and veggies. They make me gag and throw up. It's terrible I know. The worst texture is a fucking banana. UGH. I hate them. The smell, the texture, the taste, just ugh.

Three - I like to smell things. Especially paper. Books, mail, etc. Love it. It's weird. At night you're likely to see me with my hoodie up to my face, I'm probably smelling it. I'm weird. I can't help it.

Four - I have a huge fear of the dentist. I hate going. The smell of the place gives me the chills. I haven't been since I don't know when. Someday I will have to have dentures I'm sure. I know I need to go see the dentist soon but I won't go unless it's a dentist who practices sedation dentistry.

Five - I like to be naked. Whenever I can. (sorry dad) I'm sure my neighbors have all seen my ass because I'll run out to my car in a long shirt with no panties/pants. I've gone with nothing wrapped in a blanket. I have no modesty. I don't care if people see my ladies bits, I just don't want them to see my chubby belly. I used to really think about visiting a nudist colony. Then I decided I may not have an issue being naked, but I don't think I want to see everyone naked.

Six - I've swallowed more lip rings and the end of tongue rings that I lost count and forgot. I don't even know what the number used to be. True story.

Seven - I enjoy throwing/giving stuff away. It's like a cleansing thing for me. I just don't do it often. Kind of an oxymoron (haha, remember when "oxymoron" was a cool thing? Or is it just me?) I don't do it because I'm lazy but while I sit on the couch and watch mindless tv, I think about it and really really want to.

Eight - I'm super sensitive. I know I come off as kind of a bitch most of the time, or at least I think I do. But people really do get to me all the time! It's quite irritating and that's why I use my sassy attitude a lot. Because people just don't fuck with me. (At least that's how I feel in my head. Could be totally different in real life)

Nine - I love lists. It's the fastest way to get my attention. Love to look at them, read them, and make them. Reading them is my favorite. Short, long, detailed, grocery...any of them.

Ten - I like to pretend I'm from the south. lol. I love southern etiquette and the way they do things. Living seems the most important to people in the south. And they have great accents! I was born in the wrong part of the country. I've never told anybody that before.


Heather said...

I love the smell of books too. I can't open one to read it without smelling it first.

Jess said...

I love this post! So funny!

I can only eat bananas with peanut butter - but since being pregnant I have given up on them all together. The texture is too much for me!

Jordan said...

This is awesome! lol I spent a long time trying to mask my sensitivity and now I unfortunately have a reputation for being somewhat of a bitch. I'm ok with it though because as you said, people don't fuck with me. I actually am from the south except in Houston that "southern hospitality" is somewhat rare. I'm sure in smaller towns the etiquette is easier to come across but don't ever come to Houston expecting someone to offer you homemade sweet tea!