Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Shit Not To Do

I was riding the struggle bus yesterday and apparently missed my stop because I'm still on it today.

Yesterday work sucked. I cried like 3 times. My head was not in the game that's for sure. And I don't know if I told you but Sunday night I had a party of 7 (originally 8, one left) that left me $5 on their $100 tab. Sweet huh. Well, apparently I pissed them off because they felt the need to email the manager about me and their experience. And now they get a free $100 gift card. Yay for me. I've never gotten a complaint, and it sucks when it happens. I thought that they were perfectly fine because they never acted upset, asked to speak to a manager, or ever said anything was wrong.

And now I have a blog post. Boom.

Today I'll present you with ways to not be a pain in the ass to anybody that serves you. EVER.

1. If you feel there is a problem, speak up about it. We aren't hear to make you have a miserable experience. We actually want you to have a good time. The better of a time you have, the more likely we'll get a good tip. Most of us want to do a good job, and you aren't doing anybody a favor by giving crappy tips and moping.

2. If your server is with a different table and you need them, wait till they are done talking to the table that just got sat to call them over. Seriously, yesterday I was trying to get drink orders for a family of 4 that had just sat down, when my table right behind them says "Yeah, hey can we get more breadsticks." Are you fucking serious? Way to be an adult!

3. Try not to overly complicate your order. I know that people have allergies/certain way they like things/aren't used to eating here, but the harder you make it for me to put your food in, the longer it will probably take to come out. I do want to make you happy and I'll do my best to accommodate you but don't order a salad with a different type of lettuce then what we use, without pepperoncinis, extra tomatoes, onion, and croutons, with ranch and house dressing on the side. Oh, and then yeah, we do want those pepperoncinis after all.

4. I'm more than happy to get whatever you need but I'd appreciate it if you'd ask all at one time. I'd rather get you a drink refill, a salad refill, more napkins, and breadsticks in one trip then four. Because walking back and forth that much gets really old really fast. I'd like to stand in the side station and take a damn breath for a minute. And talk to the other servers so we can share our war stories.

5. Children. This shit gets subpoints. It's not that servers don't like children, we just don't like them when they're in our section. Read this article. It's hilarious.
    - subpoint A. Don't let your child throw food all over the floor. I understand babies can't help it, but for             the love of all things holy, help clean it the fuck up. Where I work we have hokies, things that look like vaccuums but don't make any noise, they don't pick shit up. They just smear wet baby drooled on food in the floor. And if I have to touch it with my hands, you're gonna be voodoo dolled later on.
   - subpoint B. You're five year old doesn't know the different kind of pastas we have. They don't understand that there are different kinds of pasta. Don't keep me at your table for 10 minutes trying to get your child to decide what kind of pasta they want. You're the damn adult, you decide.
  - subpoint C. Don't let them run around like hellions. This isn't your home. We carry big trays of hot ass food with hot ass plates on them. When little Billy Joe gets first degree burns from my food and I lose my job because you're making OG pay your hospital bills, I'll be pissed. Keep them on a leash!!

Now when you go eat, think of me. It'll make you smile. =)


Stephanie said...

What did they say the problem was?!
I absolutely hate children in restaurants. If they can't behave, you do not take them out until they can. Period.

Erin said...

Haha that first line is flippin hilarious! I always say struggle bus but now I'm going to have to say I missed my stop if the hangover carries on too long.

And I hope you cheer up soon!

Jordan said...

What was their problem? I only complain if there is a SERIOUS issue. It's not really worth it otherwise! And to email it later? Why not just take care of it right on the spot? Strange!

I cannot imagine children acting like that! We were taught really early (and quickly - all it took was ONE trip outside) that when we're at a restaurant (or anywhere for that matter) we don't throw shit, including tantrums. Parents need to man up!

Yammering Yankee said...

Gah I had the worst server last night. We always sit at the bar because normally we get better service there our waitress comes up to us and asks are we ready to order we reply with yes. Then she turns to her coworker strikes up a conversation then leaves! I think I was going to implode. Finally another waitress came to take our order lol.

Anonymous said...

Yes!!! I remember the 4th of July was one of my first days serving by myself. I had opened so there were only a limited amount of servers and we were much busier than expected. So I got like 5 tables back to back. All at one time. Two of their bills ended up over $100 and I got $5 from each one bc I just could not keep up. Worst experience of my life. It'll get better!