Thursday, August 8, 2013

Summer's End

So the summer is winding down and coming to a close. I know to most of you, that sucks. I'm not entirely disappointed though. Summer just isn't my jam. Except for tanks. I love those.

I didn't talk about this a lot this year, just because. I talked about it last summer but not many of you were here then. During the summer Teagan alternates weeks with her dad and myself. I'm not gonna lie, a week of peace is often nice, but it gets old after awhile. The days just seem to be longer and I find myself to be bored and not have somebody to talk to.

At the start of the summer everything was fine. Teagan was pumped to go to her dad's and wanted to go all the time. As it's gone on though, it's gotten rough. This last time when they came to pick her up she cried. She didn't want to go at all. I felt terrible, but at the same time, I felt good. Finally they (her dad is married) knew how I felt when she was so happy to go with me. But what do I do when she's crying because she doesn't want to go? It's court mandated and I know that her dad wants to see her.

Now, if they were cordial and nice, I would have felt bad for them. But they aren't. I'm not gonna spill all the drama on here because it's just too much. But I feel that most of the time when it comes to them, I get the short end of the stick.

I guess I'm just trying to say that I'm glad that summer is coming to a close. I'm going to be around my baby kindergartner more. She's gonna be with me, where I feel she belongs. I won't ever take away her dad's time to see her, I'm not that terrible of a human - yet. But home is where the heart is, and my heart is with her.

As for kindergarten...holy shit how did we get here already? I'm a nervous wreck. It's not the same as head start where she went before. This is the beginning of the next 13-18 years of her life. And she's not a baby anymore. Wahh. But I'm excited too. I love school carnivals and elementary school parties. They're my favorite!

So bring on the fall...because I'm ready.


Alex[andra] said...

My parents never married: I saw my dad every weekend and my mom during the week. I guess because I was used to a routine, I never thought much of it.

I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to see her cry. It's great that she has such a special bond with you though!

Jordan said...

1) I think it's awesome you've never complained or ranted about her dad. You seem to handle this well and I respect you even more for that :)

2) That would break my heart. At least it's almost over and she'll be home with mommy where she belongs!

3) I know I was talking shit via twitter about people being all excited for fall already.... and it hit me this week. I think I'm ready!

Beth W said...

Shared custody sucks big-time....I can't imagine doing it with a wee one. :(
I'm glad the drama and stress is decreasing for you!