Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Forgive Yourself

It's early November so everybody is updating their goals on their blogs. And I enjoy when they do that. But occasionally it gets me down. See, I told myself a couple months ago that I wasn't going to my goals post. Whenever I Make goals, I never seem to follow anything to get them done.

And it gives me all the sads.

I go in with great intentions but a week later I'm just like yeah whatever. And when I don't complete them I start to beat myself up about it. I don't hold myself accountable enough to complete them. And even though I don't hold myself accountable to get them done, I expect too much out of myself. I don't know how to distinguish between the two.

There's nothing worse than feeling like you let somebody down, except for the feeling of letting yourself down. I give myself anxiety over it sometimes. I tell myself that I'm gonna have half of my Christmas presents bought by the middle of November and I'm nowhere near close. And i was in full panic mode about it for about two weeks. I was stressing myself out and telling myself that I just suck at life.

I don't know how to set goals and go through with them without putting too much pressure on myself to get them done. But I don't even try to get them done half of the time. It's a vicious circle and I don't know what to do to stop it.

I don't even know if this makes any sense or if I'm rambling and talking in circles. I just know that hating on myself for not getting things done is starting to get really old. And I know that not getting things done is getting old too.

So I have a plan. A very small minuscule plan because I don't want to take on too much at one time. If I start at the bottom maybe I can get there.

I'm not gonna talk about it because I don't want to put the pressure on myself too much right now. Just know that I'm starting small. And someday, I'll get to where I want to be.


Erin said...

hey don't be hard on yourself!! Life gets in the way of plans!!

Heather Marie said...

Staring small is still starting! Don't get down on yourself we all have different and unique goals in certain seasons in out lives as long as we are growin and challenging ourselves in someway I think that is what is important!

Alex[andra] said...

I understand where you're coming from. I absolutely hate letting myself down. Having a plan is good though. It's better to at least put the thought in motion than to ignore it altogether.

Jordan said...

Instead of making specific goals, make them broader. Instead of saying "HALF of presents DONE by MID NOVEMBER" say "have some presents bought by the end of the month." It helps me so much to make it a broader goal than to have a SET thing to aim for because it's more attainable and less overwhelming.

I know you said you have a plan, but just try setting ONE goal and make it broad. Don't be so damn hard on yourself either. Love yourself enough to give yourself a break.

Brandy said...

This actually make perfect sense. I hate on myself all the time & feel like a failure all too often.
I agree with Jordan, that helps so much to have a more broad or general goal, there is still the small pressure to get it done, ut there isn't really room for "failure". It's one of those things where any progress is good instead of a set point to be at.
I have the same issue though with goals, I'll set them & half the time not even TRY to do them. I feel your pain there, girl!
You can do it though! :-D

Amanda - Voyage of the MeeMee said...

You make complete sense! I feel the same way sometimes... you are not alone in how you feel, so know that. Baby steps are the best way to go about some things. Goals can seem overwhelming sometimes to anyone. You are perfectly normal... don't be so hard on yourself - at least you still WANT goals for yourself! :)