One Year

I have like 35644 things I want to blog about right now. That's totally overwhelming but I want to blog. Kinda.

A year ago, I wrote this post. I never mentioned directly that it was my Auntie who had breast cancer, but I might have mentioned it later on.

A year ago today she was diagnosed with breast cancer. And now, a year later, she has officially been cleared as healthy and can go back to work and live her life!

She's been through two separate mastectomies, days of feeling like shit, tears, happiness, relief, laughter, chemo, and radiation. And now, she is done.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared in the beginning. But as time has gone on I've become less scared.

I'm so proud of her. Proud of how well she handled herself, proud of how well she acted. She was never a "victim". She was always a fighter. She didn't really live her life any differently than she did before, but there was a lot more fun. We all realized that we need to be around each other more.

I mean it when I say she's my hero. There aren't words that explain how I feel. Too bad you can't describe feelings.

Here's to my hero, my auntie, my inspiration.

I Just Wanna Go to the Lake!

Oh Monday, thanks for coming around and rearing your ugly head in your usual fashion. My weekend was so good that I didn't even have time to write this last night. And now I'm sitting on the edge of being late because I overslept. And I forgot to start the laundry with my beautiful work clothes in them. I'm probably going to be late today.

I have court tonight. Womp womp. I got a ticket for my headlight being out. I was just gonna let it go and pay it, but that shit is $100! One hundred dollars for a stupid fucking headlight? Are you for real right now? I went and had that shit fixed and hopefully the judge just lets me go.

I don't really have anything for you this morning. Except one gem of a video. Please turn your speakers down or plug in headphones. Your bosses don't want to hear this. And you don't want them to hear it. I posted this on my fb originally but I just think it's so damn hilarious/wtf? that I had to show it to you guys. Just promise you'll watch it!



Just know that you're not as crazy as you think you are! And show it to your husbands and manfriends. Threaten them with this. I'll bet you get what you want for a couple days. 
Happy Monday cupcakes. 

A Little Late

I'm a little late to the party. Oops. But not really. My Wife taught me it's better to be late because then people pay attention. Ok, she didn't teach me that but gaww that girl makes us late everywhere. Anyway, I'm getting on a tangent.

Remember that time I went and saw Kenny Chesney in May? Well, I do. Kind of. And I want to do it all over again. It was a lot of fun.

I thought that I'd show you a few after pictures and tell you some stories.

After the concert was over we started to head to our car when I realized that there was good music playing outside. And at this moment I just decided that I was gonna dance. Who cares where we are, who I'm with, of what we're doing. I just wanna dance. That's why I love drunk me. Because she loves after parties. Sober me knows that after parties are just code for a hangover in the am.

If you look close enough, you'll notice that my shoes aren't on my feet. I was tired of them. They hurt so I took them off. I proceeded to tell Kyla that she could sell them if she wanted to. And she almost did. Some old cowboy dude wanted to buy my boots for his lady friend. Weirdo. Luckily, Kyla got smart and didn't sell them.

After the concert we also decided that we just need to tailgate a concert. Seriously. The party going on outside of the Kenny concert was almost bigger than the party going on inside. And none of us have tailgated before. I know, shame. We're just trying to find the perfect concert to do it at though. Kyla suggested Luke's. I suggested that she had a brain disorder. There's no way I'm going to a Luke concert and not getting to see him. Nope.

I also let drunk Chloe have her way and the bitch peed in some bushes outside of a convenient store with no shoes on and other drunk folk everywhere. The line in the bathroom was 54874 people long and I just can't hold it like I used to. Don't ever have kids. So I decided that outside in a bush was best for everyone. It wasn't. I managed to pee all over my jeans. Good thing I didn't care until the next day.

And that's how you party after you party.

I thought that I'd link up with Stephanie yesterday but my internet wasn't working so I'm doing it today!

And in honor of me backing it up after this concert I definitely have to join Whitney for #backthatazzup Friday. 

This week's jam is something that I always wanna back my azz up to. Every time I hear it I just have to dance.

Give Me A Little Inspiration

Here recently, meaning all summer long, I've had nothing to blog about. I've racked my brain and sent countless texts to Jordan telling her how I have nothing. No new fresh ideas, no exciting pictures, not even a little "about me" post for all my new cupcakes. Which, I promise to do...someday.

Just basically I have no blogging inspiration.

She's told me that I just need to go with the flow, I'm over thinking it, and sometimes I'm too hard on myself. And I have to agree, I need to realize all of those things.

So when two powerhouses team up for a link up about inspiration for blogging, what the hell do I even write about? I don't know how Sarah and Helene do it everyday. But they always have something. So major props ladies.

It seems to me that my material is a bit stale sometimes. And I get all depressed-crybaby mode on everyone around me. It's just that I really want to post for you guys and someday maybe be a powerhouse! But without post inspiration, that's not gonna happen.

I've noticed some of my posts that people love the most are about my job, because people love when you tell them fucked up stories of assholes who come in to restaurants. Others are about my dogs. It's still weird putting an s at the end of the word dog. I never thought I'd have more than one at a time.

And now here's the funny part, now that I've started typing something, I can just go with it and it works. Maybe I am trying too hard. Maybe next time I think I don't have a post I'll just open a fresh blank blogger document and go.

I don't ever want to give up this space. That's for sure. The thought has crossed my mind just because I don't seem to have as much to write about now. But then I get all sad panda and think of the amazing friends I would miss out on. I mean, blogging is more than blogging. It's talking to all my friends that I've never met, but someday I sure as hell will, be prepared. It's seeing how these lovely ladie's lives are going and gushing over the shit we can't stand, pets, or the shit that we want and love with each other.

And that's where my inspiration lies. With each and every person who comes and comments on this little space. With each and every blog that I just adore. Even the blogs I don't comment on as regularly as I should.

True Life...I'm a Blogger.

I've always wanted to be on True Life on MTV. ALWAYS. That or Made. But I don't ever see a topic that I would fit in. I'm crazy, but not that crazy. So today...today I get to be on my own True Life episode. I'm living the dream.



1. I want shit that I won't ever use because everybody else has one. Example? Well how about the fancy polar tf4 heart rate monitor. Sami, Shannon, and Jordan all have one and I want one too mom!! Except I don't even work out so what good would that fancy watch do me?? Nothing. The second part of this is that I want stuff I will use too. Stephanie and Sarah got me hooked on this bag from Forever 21. I don't have the cash right now but you best believe that when I do it will be mine!

2. I take pictures of my food and most of the time put them on Instagram. As embarrassing and silly as it is, I still do it. People stare so I just don't look up. Maybe I want to remember this amazing omelet for the rest of my life ok. Jeez people. All my blog friends need to know about everything I eat so when they come visit me they can decide what restaurant they want to go to based off of my pictures. People are more apt to order things when they see pictures, I'm just trying to help my friends out. If bloggers didn't take pictures of their food how would I ever know about Chipotle, which, I'm getting real soon? Or how about truffle fries? Even though I don't think any place around here carries truffle oil but still...One day truffle fries will be tried and I will love every blogger who has taken a picture of their food.

3. I spend way too much time on my phone but it's all for blogging and networking. And I have FOMO. So yeah, I constantly check my twitter, email, instagram, and blog aps to see what's going on. Other bloggers get it. People, not so much. I try and not obsessively look at stuff, but I'm not gonna lie, it doesn't always go over very well. But I'm getting better!

4. I drink. I think that's a requirement to be a blogger right? No? Ok, well then, a lot of us just like to do it. And we enjoy it. Not that's any different from the rest of the world but our drink/drank/drunk shenanigans go on the interwebs for everybody to see. You can't shame us. Not about drinking anyway.

5. I like lists. Love them is more exact. They're easier to read and they take a lot less time that actually typing up a normal post. List posts beat regular posts and regular posts beat not posting. But no, all hail to that list. Tell me how many lists you see today while reading your blogs. And I'll prove that I'm right.

That's all I've got time for today. Maybe there will be another episode of True Life in my future. I can only hope so.

Let's High Five and #backthatazzup

We made it to Friday. Woot woot. I work all weekend but managed to give my Saturday morning shift away so I can go to my niece's second birthday! I might find a way to sneak some booze in. That would make me super ultra mega fun and work would be so much better =). Let's high five some shit.

1. Last weekend I had Saturday off and we had a family day. It was nice. We went to eat hibachi, where my crazy kid tried sushi. I was proud of her. That's like I don't even know. Just major! After that we went to the movie theater and played in the arcade for a while. Then we saw Monsters University. I don't really know if it was good because Teagan can't sit still in a movie theater STILL. How long does it take??? After that we went to my Wife's bbq she was hosting to thank everybody for supporting her while she was dealing with cancer. Girl doesn't cook but she did good. I was proud ;). And then it was time for some fireworks! Busy Saturday for sure.

2. I went on a shopping spree yesterday and bought way to much shit but it was so much fun. A girl deserves to go shopping every now and then. And shop we did. I ended up with 3 new pairs of shoes, 3 new dresses, some hair stuffs, and panties. Panty shopping is fun. The only womp womp of the day was that I couldn't find anything on the sale racks. I can always find good sales with cute clothes but not yesterday. Everything I wanted was expensive! All I wanted were maxi dresses and skirts. I was in total fall mode too.

3. I went swimming on Tuesday. And got another sunburn. And it fucking sucks. But Teagan and I had a great time so it was worth it. That's why I took Wednesday off. After a sunburn I just want to sleep and cry. I only go out in the sun every 10 years, I told Blake to enjoy this tan because he won't see me tan for 10 more years.

please ignore how wide my leg looks. It happens when I sit down. 

4. Wife and I went to dinner at Olive Garden Wednesday night (yes, even though I work there, it was her birthday) and I had a great drink. Seriously if you're ever at an OG again, try a Strawberry Limoncello Martini. It was great. I got a buzz. A buzz for an expensive ass price though. But it was sooo worth it. And I don't drink sweet sugary drinks but this was good.

5. It's school supply time! I seriously get so excited for this time of year. I can't wait to go to Target and buy a pretty new planner that I won't ever use. And 5254164 notebooks that I don't need. But I can say that they're for Teagan now!

And now...the moment everybody's been waiting for....

Yes, just yes. Now go on, shake ya ass. Just make sure you close the door so your coworkers don't see you getting your freak on. Or don't. Whatever works. 

Happy Friday Cupcakes!

What Were You Looking For?

So, I’ve seen a lot of blog posts going around about what people are searching when they find their blogs. And this shit is hilarious. Well, my blog has become a little more searchable. At least to me. I could just be crazy. That might be true. Anyway, I’ve finally had some crazy searches come to my blog. They make me smile. Because I like crazy. 

“Had to pee outside”

You NEVER have to pee outside. That’s shit’s nasty. I believe that there is always a toilet you can use somewhere and I’ve mastered the art of “holding  it”. Unfortunately, drunken fun Chloe doesn’t agree. But she’s more fun and willing to do crazy shit than I am. That’s why we I love her. I thought I had a post where I mentioned that I did this while in Dallas on my girl’s trip. Apparently I’ve never written about the rest. Well shit. I don’t know where this comes from. More about peeing outside some time.

“FMK porn star edition.”

All together now…WTF. I wonder what this person does for fun. I’m all for playing fmk, but I don’t get down with porn stars. I do however, apparently believe female country singers are ok to play fmk with. Oh you don’t, well come see it here.

“…Matt Bomer…”

I don’t think he’s that attractive. But I blogged about him in Magic Mike and everybody and their mom searches everything possible about Matt Bomer. Womp womp. There’s even a picture involved of him. What was I thinking? If I was a good blogger I would go and find it. However, I’m lazy and I don’t even remember what else it was about or when in the hell I posted it.

“That there isn t a social icon”

Incorrect spelling for the win. That’s embarrassing that this even comes to my blog. But it is amusing. What where isn’t a social icon? Am I an example of what a bad blogger is? Na, not me! I don’t even know what post this could have been.

“Dallas Cowboy Venus Cheerleader”

That’s a win right there. I won at life guys. I’ve always wanted to be a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader, I don’t know how many times I’ve mentioned it. But what makes this search even better is that Venus equals Sarah! We all know that. The poor person that landed on my blog probably is sad that they didn’t end up on hers, but thanks for the visit. If more of Sarah’s traffic wants to come over here feel free! And here’s the post that they got.

People of Olive Garden

I love my job most days. If not, I would have left by now. I think that one of the best things about it are the people that come in. Seriously, I die at least once a day. So today, I'll let you pretend that you're an OG employee and you can meet some of the people of Olive Garden. 

1. Unlimited Salad/Soup and Bread Eater

Yes, everybody knows we have unlimited salad. But this person/group likes to take it to the extreme. I'm talking 4 refills of salad within the first 15 minutes. People love the word unlimited, and they make sure they get their money's worth. I'm all "Hello dude slow the fuck down, I have other tables to check on and I can't make a salad every 5 minutes for you.!" They'll order another bowl as soon as you bring the prior one out. I'm like "Bitch, eat the one you have in front of you and then we'll see!"

2. The "I've never been to an Olive Garden before" Person

It's our job to make sure the person orders the best shiz off the menu and we give the most perfect service we've ever given in our lives. They wear you out. Making sure they're happy, they like what they have, and that you can get their business again. When really you just want to say "You're not missing much, drive down the road, they have much better Italian food at XYZ." NO, just me? Ooops. 

3. It's Girl's Night Girls

There are two groups of these. And both make me want to stab my eyeballs with a fork and go die a slow death in the freezer. The first group or should we say...the skanks. Yes, the skanks. They come in dressed in their best club attire with their panties showing and their heads held high. They want to pregame and you're here to help them out. Most of the time, one or all can't walk in their heels so watching them leave is totally worth the little tip you get, if you get one. The second group is the mom group. "WOOO, WE'RE KIDLESS TONIGHT!! Pour us all the free samples of wine we can have let's get CARAAAZZZZAYYYY." You pour them their 3 free samples (enough to get a good buzz if you have a good server) and then they never order another drink. Just diet cokes and waters. Real crazy, let me tell you. 

Cute, but not Olive Garden cute. 

Maybe not even cute?

4. This is a First Class Establishment People

These people are sometimes my favorite. They come in all proper like and wait to get to their table. When their table is in a shitty spot, you know about it. When I'm hosting I let them pick their own table. They feel better about themselves when that happens. They get there and ever so eloquently place their cloth napkins right on their laps. They order a water with a lemon, of course, and the most expensive glass of wine you can buy. When you go up to their table for their order, they'll spout off about "Oh, there's no veal on this menu?" or "All of this food is just so regular, do you have something a little more upstanding?" Nope, sure don't. Welcome to a restaurant for middle class America. Would you like fettucine alfredo or chicken alfredo? 

5. Honey, put on your best sweats, we're going to the Olive Garden!!

Ahh yea, the people who come in dressed like they're going to bed. You try and not judge them, but you're already not expecting a tip. I mean, Billy Jo has a tattoo on his neck and his finest dirty holy jeans he can find. And Bobby Anne has her cleavage-baring-two-times-too-small t-shirt on with her nicest pajama pants. It's really funny when they get seated next to first class establishment people. Their hair is probably not brushed or washed. 

I died. This hasn't really happened but you get the idea.

6. Prom Kids

Next year, I'm taking a sabbatical from late March to the middle of May. As a host, it goes like this, you have a reservation for 30 kids. 15 show up. They don't bother to tell you that this is going to be it so you have to be sure to ask them. You go tear apart the table for 30 and just leave it for 15. Come back up front and get dirty teenager looks until they're seated. The boys look confused and the girls look bitchy. It's a wonderful time. As a server, it goes like this, you walk up already bummed because you can't sell booze. You get their drink orders. 14 order water and 1 boy orders a coke. And then gets the evil eye from his girl. You come back with their drinks and they're ready to order. On a good day about 4 of them order entrees, 3 are just going to have salad, and the other 7 aren't gonna eat. And they get the side eye. It's a good thing we grat parties of 8 or larger! Because these kids won't leave anything extra. God forbid they leave mom and dad's money to people who work for a living. 

But they do make you want to dress up again.

7. The Cool Table

This is my personal favorite. I've done all this complaining about these other people, but this table, this is the one that makes my night. They get me and I get them. I don't have to fake smile and I can acutally talk about whatever I want with these people. And I always get a decent tip out of it. Love the cool table. So please, try and be the cool table, you may get something free out of it. I know that I try and help out my cool tables. 

p.s. sorry there are no pictures. My internet quit working and

Take Me Back To Yesterday

Once upon a time I was an easily influenced little diva child. Not much has changed. I'm still little and I act like a child. I can even be a diva if I need to. And as a little diva child, I had diva music that I absolutely loved. It made me the little "adult" that I am now. I thought for #backthatazzup Friday I would give you some of my favorite songs during my childhood. And yes, they'll be all pop top 40 songs. I didn't have good taste then or now. Whatever. I have great taste now.



1. Wannabe - Spice Girls
As a kid, this was my jam. I loved the shit out of the Spice Girls. My friends and I would watch the movie and each be a spice girl. Back then I was convinced I was a "good girl" and wanted to be Baby Spice. Now, this songs comes on when I'm drunk and I pull the typical drunk girl "I LOVE THIS SONG. This is MY song!" And I want to be Ginger Spice please and thank you.

2. My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion
By now I'm sure you know of my obbsessiveness over anything Titanic related. If not, well I love this movie and I'd watch it everyday if anybody would let me. When I was little and Titanic came out, I loved it. And since it had a theme song of course I loved it too. I'd lose my shit over this song. Great taste!

3. Bitch - Meredith Brooks
I mean I didn't know exactly what a bitch was at 3 but whatever. I was at my great grandmas' house with my mom and grandma. Somebody called me a human being (or something like that. I don't remember and my mom won't text me back. THANKS MOM.) and I replied, I'm not a human being. My gma asked what I was and I said "I'm a bitch." They loved that. Not. I find it hilarious. I'm proud of myself for knowing these things at a young age.

 

4. Baby One More Time - Britney
UmmmDuh! Point me in the direction of a girl from 6-13 who didn't love Britney and every song she sang and I'll point you in the direction of a liar. Britney was my best friend. I don't even have words for how I felt about her. Her first cd is burned into my brain for the rest of time. I could make this list much longer but for the sake of not making you read a lot just consider every song of hers on here.

Remember when our girl looked like this?? 

5.It's Gonna Be Me - N*SYNC
Yep, I was an N*SYNC girl. Back Street Boys? pshhh. They had nothing on Justin and his crew. But I wasn't a Justin lover. I was more of a Lance Bass kinda girl. Always and forever. And then there was Justin And Britney together. I died and went to heaven. My two favorites were together and my hope for mankind was at an all time high.

6. Waterfalls - TLC 

I was little when this song came out. Like before kindergarten. But I loved it. I don't know why. There's a super embarrassing story about this song but it's so embarrassing I'm not even going to tell you. Just know you'd die. For days. 

What were some of your favorite songs? Don't be ashamed, I wanna know!

Breaking News

So not last week, but the week before I took an early weekend from the blog. I thought it was necessary. You see, that week was the week that my wife finished her chemo! So of course a celebration dinner was in order. She made me choose between Outback and Applebees. Good food vs. Okay cheap food. Cheap won of course, so Applebees it was.

I bought her her first post chemo drink and it was a summer squeeze and it was delish! I got a long island of course. All that booze in one glass gets a good buzz going. Two glasses, I probably shouldn't drive home. That's my go to at AppleBees. Never had one? Try there first.

I should have probably edited her instagram name but go ahead and stalk her. She'll appreciate it. 

Summer Squeeze

Our waitress was super sweet and gave us a free mini brownie sundae to celebrate chemo being over! But the wife doesn't like chocolate. Like hates it. But she choked it down like a pro. It wasn't funny but it was funny. 

After dinner we went over to Blake's and told him he HAD to go get drinks with us. Normally on a school night he's not down but since it was a big deal he obliged. We were gonna go to B-dubs but decided to go over to a friend's house and drink with them. Funny story, Wife asked the lady friend of the couple if she wanted to hang out...and she didn't really want to. So Blake asked her husband and he said sure. We took his answer and ran with it. We took a 16 pack of budlight and a 12 pack of straw-ber-itas so we weren't empty handed. And we had great timing. Apparently there was no power in part of town. And they just happened to live in that part of town. We all hung out and drank and then the boys wondered off to the highway. I'm surprised they didn't get ran over. We had great girl time. Much needed. I didn't get any pictures because I couldn't charge my phone and we were all sweaty and gross anyway. 

Wife wanted to go home by 1 so we said ok. And at 12:30 we headed to another group of friends' house. We had her convinced that she was going to be home by 1. We lied. We waited for an old friend of Blake's to show up. And he took forevvvver. In the mean time Wife was gettin it. Seriously, I highly suggest making one of your friends be sober for awhile and then take them out drinking. It doesn't take much and it's hilarious! I wish I could tell you all the shit that came out of her mouth. But it's not really blog appropriate. 

See, our group of friends aren't really blog appropriate. But we're fucking awesome. And we give each other a lot of shit. So even if I told you, you wouldn't laugh because it's a you have to be there moment. 

We got home about 3. Ooops. And we all had to work the next day. When we got home Blake and I took Olivia outside for about 5 minutes. We came in and Wife was fully dressed passed the hell out on the couch. She didn't even look comfortable. =) Love that girl. 

Love him.

I told her I wouldn't post this but whatever. 

Friends and shit.

And I have breaking news for you....

As of yesterday at 730 in the morning...

Wife is in remission!! No more cancer.

We're so happy!

Country Music Heaven

Happy Humpday cupcakes. Glad to see you =)

Remember when I wasn't feeling well Monday? Well, it's because I looked like this.

Yep, that's a nice sunburn I've got going on there. 

I don't spend a lot of time in the sun. I'm a pasty white girl and I enjoy being one. I may not get skin cancer someday but after this evil burn, I may. It hurt like a bitch. 

So why was I spending so much time in the sun? Well, only so I could go to this.

Yes, Saturday I went to Toby Keith's Oklahoma Twister Relief concert and had a fucking blast. I went with my auntie, blake, kyla (the one that keeps reoccurring in that picture above), and my auntie's niece. The lineup was pretty awesome.

Mel Tillis

Krystal Coffee

Garth Brooks

Trisha Yearwood

John Anderson

Willie Nelson

Sammy Hagar 

Ronnie Dunn

Carrie Underwood by satellite

Chrystal Keith (Toby's daughter)

Toby Keith

and a surprise guy I don't remember.

Basically, i was in country music heaven. 

Of course I did some drinking. Do you know me? We had beers and margaritas. The margs weren't that great though. Not enough tequila. That's a thing. It was so hot though that I lost my buzz. 

I've now been to OU. Which makes my heart go pitter patter. But those seats, what in the fuuuck were they thinking. Seriously to get out of my seat and make my way to the food and booze I had to sexually assault every person on the way in front of and behind me. Sorry guys. Hope you enjoyed what was probably a little bit of a peep show. 

I'll leave you with more pictures to look at. I've got a puppy to go chase. 

He was pretty good. I didn't like him much before but I'm a fan now.

Are there even enough words? I'm so happy I got to see Willie.

My aunt lost her shit when Sammy Hagar came out. 

p.s. I didn't get any pictures of Toby because iphones suck at taking pictures at night. Womp womp. If you'd like to donate a camera or start a fund so I can get one, that would be greatly appreciated. Just e-mail me for info ;)

Booze and Broadway

I guess I'm back finally. Did you miss me? I missed you. I've got so much to talk about I don't even know where to start. My life has been full of exciting stuff. And it's weird!

Everybody has a bucket list. And if you say you don't, I don't believe you. Although mine isn't written anywhere on this blog, I keep a running list in my head. I mean, it's kind of hard to forget amazing shit you want to do. Anyway, on this pretty little list of mine, one of the biggest things I had to do is see a show on/from Broadway. And this girl finally got to do it!!

Last Tuesday, I got to see The Lion King!!!!! The one Broadway show that I had to see before I kicked the bucket. I still can't believe I got to see it.

My mom, Teagan, Wife, Auntie, Grandma, my cousin Josh, and one of my auntie's other nieces all went to Tulsa to see it. And it was fucking amazing. I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry. I was just so excited and had this rush of emotions and crying is what happens when I have a rush of emotions. Lion King is one of my most favorite movies of ever. I watched and rewatched it when I was little. So this was a big deal.

Plus, I got some booze out of the whole thing. Ummm yes! But, when you go to OK, be careful. They have some stupid liquor laws such as there beer doesn't have as much alcohol in it as the beer in Missouri. So drink a little more to make up for it. Then again, Missouri has some of the loosest liquor laws in all the land. =) One more reason I don't know if I could move away.

The show itself was just amazing. Fucking amazing. Whatever I was expecting was blown away. Some of the actors had the character's voices down perfect. Especially Scar and Zazu. I can't imagine how much work these people put into these shows. They were flawless. To go from a big stage in NYC to one probably half the size in Tulsa, that takes talent. I can't even pick a favorite part because it's all my favorite. And our seats were in the second row right behind the orchestra. Amazing seats. Just amazing!

My mom lost her shit driving there. And it wasn't funny at the time but it is now. I thought she was gonna kill us. Or somebody else. She hates getting lost as to where myself and the Wife enjoy it. It adds more adventure. Apparently not. And she reads this blog so I can't wait to hear what she has to say.

Outfit choice. I look like a chunk but I've perfected one hand on the hip. Ladies, take it from me,

don't ever let a man take pictures of you. You'll always look fat. 

Teagan and Wife. Drinking too much mountain dew. 

We made it.

the ticket, the building, my program to keep forever and ever, and the back ground before it started. 

Unfortunately, but totally understandable, you can't take any pictures of the show. I get this but at the same time it kinda blows. 

She was tired of me and this face proves it.

One of the coolest things about this theater was that they served booze. I mean, I haven't been to very many theaters but I didn't think that they would have my favorite past time ready to go. When we got there I just had a beer because I was in a hurry to order. Who am I kidding, I just love beer. Yum. They also let you pre-order drinks for intermission. And my choice was some bubbly. Because champagne makes anything classy. Right? I didn't even have to wait in line for it. They set up this nice little table with all the drinks on them. When you pre-ordered you got a little card with a number. All you had to do was find your number, grab your drink, and chug that shit because you only got 15 minutes. And if you're with my Wife, you'll have to chug hers too because she won't like it. And then you'll be tipsy watching the rest of the Lion King and you'll have to pee so bad you can't sit still. 

Gettin' my drink on.

I tried to be artsy because the wife said so. I think it looks dumb. But hey here's a picture of some bubbly.

The trailer.

After it was over the first thing out of my mouth was "Let's watch it again!" I could have sat there and not moved, except to get more bubbly and use the ladies, and watched it all over again. I'm 54683 % sure that each time you watch it you notice more and more. So if you ever want to take me out, here's your chance. Just take me to a broadway show and I'm yours forever. And Ever. 

Help Me

I was gonna come up with a legitimate post today. But I feel like shit. I'm not gonna lie, taking a break from here was nice, but coming back from such a long break makes it hard to write again. I don't know how you guys just jump right back in it.

I have so much to blog about though. But you'll just have to wait. Happy Monday. And I work a double -.- I'd call in, but I did that yesterday. And I'm poor after my weekend. Help me.

My Girls

I can't decide which puppy I want to talk about today. I have the love of my life and my bestest friend in the whole widest world. Or, I could go with the idiotic brand new puppy. Maybe a little of both? That sounds like the plan.

I don't know if I've told you before but Trixie was quite the hellion in her youth. I know all puppies are, but Trixie was the worst. She chewed up everything. EVERYTHING. But she would never chew on anything while I was home. She is really smart like that. However, she's also as dumb as a box of rocks. How my dog has not died beats the piss out of me. I believe it's because she thinks she's a cat. I mean, she lays around all day and does nothing. She lays just like a cat and sleeps in places cats sleep.

You're probably wondering what could this dog have chewed up that's any worse than what any other dog has done? Well let's see....

Fish food and it's containter

birth control pills

pacifiers

shoes (like every other dog), a million and one shoes

chocolate

the crotch out of almost all my mom's jeans

underwear

tampons (fucking disgusting)

trash bags 

And all of that is just becuase I left the house and she was alone. I try not to leave her alone very much anymore. I like my shit. But seriously, how does a dog eat some of that stuff and not have to have their stomach pumped? I'm not complaining because vet bills aren't the shit. They're too damn expensive. 

But I wouldn't trade these amazing cuddles for anything in the world. No matter how much it chews up. My baby is my baby. And I love the cuddles. I need all the cuddles. I don't know what I'd do without her. 

And then there's the new little dumb dumb I have. I don't even know what to say about that girl. She's a special girl. She finally has a middle name. Olivia Wild. And yes, I did name my dog after a celebrity. But she really is wild. Blake calls her a wild indian all the time so I thought it was appropriate. While she doesn't cuddle, I actually got her to for a little bit last night. It was nice. I just wanna show you pictures of her because I know how much you guys love her. 

Get the phone!

That's her 2 week photo. She's gotten soooo big.

She looks just like Stitch from Lilo and Stitch.

Galloping 

And the upside down sleep position. 

This dog has to sleep upside down. It's so weird.