My Girls

I can't decide which puppy I want to talk about today. I have the love of my life and my bestest friend in the whole widest world. Or, I could go with the idiotic brand new puppy. Maybe a little of both? That sounds like the plan.

I don't know if I've told you before but Trixie was quite the hellion in her youth. I know all puppies are, but Trixie was the worst. She chewed up everything. EVERYTHING. But she would never chew on anything while I was home. She is really smart like that. However, she's also as dumb as a box of rocks. How my dog has not died beats the piss out of me. I believe it's because she thinks she's a cat. I mean, she lays around all day and does nothing. She lays just like a cat and sleeps in places cats sleep.

You're probably wondering what could this dog have chewed up that's any worse than what any other dog has done? Well let's see....

Fish food and it's containter

birth control pills

pacifiers

shoes (like every other dog), a million and one shoes

chocolate

the crotch out of almost all my mom's jeans

underwear

tampons (fucking disgusting)

trash bags 

And all of that is just becuase I left the house and she was alone. I try not to leave her alone very much anymore. I like my shit. But seriously, how does a dog eat some of that stuff and not have to have their stomach pumped? I'm not complaining because vet bills aren't the shit. They're too damn expensive. 

But I wouldn't trade these amazing cuddles for anything in the world. No matter how much it chews up. My baby is my baby. And I love the cuddles. I need all the cuddles. I don't know what I'd do without her. 

And then there's the new little dumb dumb I have. I don't even know what to say about that girl. She's a special girl. She finally has a middle name. Olivia Wild. And yes, I did name my dog after a celebrity. But she really is wild. Blake calls her a wild indian all the time so I thought it was appropriate. While she doesn't cuddle, I actually got her to for a little bit last night. It was nice. I just wanna show you pictures of her because I know how much you guys love her. 

Get the phone!

That's her 2 week photo. She's gotten soooo big.

She looks just like Stitch from Lilo and Stitch.

Galloping 

And the upside down sleep position. 

This dog has to sleep upside down. It's so weird. 

We Survived

Yep, we survived our first week of puppyhood. And I hope you can survive this puppy picture overload.

I owe it all to the booze gods for graciously giving me enough beer so that I wouldn't lose my shit.

No seriously though, what a long week it was. I don't feel like I've ever wanted to bang my head against a wall so much in one week. I've said "no, ouch, that's not yours, Olivia," more times than I think I ever have. And I'm the queen of telling people no. Just ask my mom.

Checking out the scenery

I've come out this week with all of my stuff still in tact. Nothing is chewed up yet, at least not that I'm aware of. Blake might have just thrown it away as to not deal with my hissy fits.

Getting ready to attack my phone. 

I've learned a lot about getting a puppy. Like maybe you shouldn't do it when your life is in the middle of some chaotic changes. Blake started a new job, I started serving, and  we had to get used to Teagan's summer visitation schedule. And for some reason getting a puppy during all of this was a great idea. Or not. I'm surprised I'm not a single lady, for all the crabbiness it seems I've put out there. I was tired. Forgive me! He was tired too. Oops. =)

Nothing is better than tormenting other dogs.

The later half of the week has been much better. She listens a little. OK, she listens a lot but only to Blake. She listens a little to me. This is what I look like when he tells her to do something I just told her to do but she doesn't listen to me.

She's getting used to a routine and sleeping more =) I can't complain about that. When she sleeps I get cuddles because cuddles with this dog don't happen any other time. Ever. EVER. And also, no pictures. Every time I try and take a picture of her she bounces off. So, what's the secret puppy moms? What in the hell do you do?

Do you see how big she got in just a week!

Go hard or go home.

Trixie Here

I kicked my mom off the computer today. I have some things I need to say.

Remember when my mom told you guys about Olivia...yeah, I know, you all oogled all over her and how cute she was. But you're wrong. Wrong I tell you.

See, Tuesday night mom took me over to Dad's (what, your mom and dad don't live in seperate houses? well...more love for me that way) for what I assumed was a nice night out. I love going to dad's. See, he has the biggest yard and I can run for days in it. I was wrong. She took me over there to meet that new little shit I mean my new little sister. And what can I say, I'm not a fan.

All she does is jump on me and bite me. Bitch, you're crazy. The first time she did it, she got one of my hot spots so I yelped to let her know that I don't appreciate that shit. Mom felt bad for me so I got some loves and Olivia got talked to. Me -1, Olivia - 0.

Sticking my tongue out at her. 

When I get to Dad's I try and play with his other dogs but they don't want shit to do with me. I don't understand it. Well, now I do. I guess mom thought bringing me over would be good for me because I would have somebody to play with. Nope, I bit that idea in the ass. Actually, Olivia bit that idea in the ass. hahaha. I'm referring to when she bit my hot spot again. It's literally on my back by my cute little puppy butt. No mom, I won't let it go. It hurt.

I kept trying to get comfy on the couch but she wouldn't let me be. It was so irritating. I just wanted to nap beside Teagan the Terror. Shh mom, I know I'm not supposed to call her a terror but dammit she is! This time I got all up in her grill and scared her. Then mom yelled at me. Something about "Be nice, she's a baby. She doesn't understand why you're being mean she just wants to play with you." Yeah, whatever. Nice try. Dad got on to Olivia and then he sat on the couch with us. he held her down so she'd leave me alone.

So all in all, I don't want any siblings. I just want friends. And apparently my mom doesn't know what friends are. Whatever. I just want somebody like Hawkeye to hangout with. Is that too much to ask?? Well....I'm waiting for an answer. I have to go stare at her until she answers me. I'll see you guys again soon, I hope.

What Did I Get Myself In To?

Guess what we did this weekend?

We got a puppy! Well, Blake got a puppy and I got the responsibility end of everything. 

Meet Olivia

She's part australian sheppard and I have no idea what else. We adopted her from the Humane Society. 

I thought I had puppy fever before we got her. Now, I just want to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. She had me whipped the first night, but the second, no way. 

Did I mention that I haven't had a puppy in 10 years and forgot that the only things that come out of your mouth are "No, don't chew on that." and "Good girl, let's go potty." I feel like a big broken record. A big tired broken record. 

She's adorable though and I can't help but love her. But I'm ready for the crate training to be over. I just want her to sleep! She has an amazing personality and is so loving! And hilarious. She can't jump to save her soul, and she is so clumsy. I love it. 

And she doesn't hold still for pictures. We're still working on that one. I wanted to take more of her last night but Blake was tired of my flash. Womp womp.

I'm off to try and take a nap now that she's worn out! Happy Monday Cupcakes.