Enjoy Life

I'm alive guys. I don't know if you noticed but I was absent yesterday. If you saw twitter, then you know why. If not, let me show ya.

I missed my stop to get off the struggle bus and now I've landed to still drunk in the morning ville.
— Chloe Ashworth (@CloverMarie214) August 6, 2013

And half of it doesn't even make sense so obviously I was still drunk. Yesterday sucked. Especially when I had to work. But it was good times and completely worth it. I got to hangout with my wife and we got trashed, like the light weights we are. I only consumed 3 longs islands, 2 bud light platinums, and a shot of patron.  But it worked it's magic.

We started off at Applebees because they have 2-for-1s and half price apps after 9. I even took my new friend Cooper, who I created at build-a-bear, and he enjoyed some long islands too. I took to instagram to prove it. I don't usually bring stuffed animals with me everywhere I go but I knew it would get laughs so I did. Or wtf looks and that worked too. And brought me laughs.

yes, he wears cowboy boots

I know we all just want to be skinny but I love food so much. So much. But I've decided that unless I'm eating my parmesan and shrimp sirloin from Applebees, I don't need to order food. We ordered too much and it was just ok.

those pretzels aren't the greatest and they were a lot bigger than expected!

After that we came back home and continued to drink some more. Only this time we did it on my front porch while it rained. That was some of the loudest, most bangiest, thunder I've heard in a long time. It gave me heart attacks on occassion. We took too many selfies, laughed way to hard, and had in all around good time. I'm ready to do it again.

only decent one and we still can't get it right.

that's rain, not beer.

Sorry about the shitty quality, I don't have a good steady hand when I've been drinking. Just some of the classicness that is us. Wanna come hang out?

p.s. Drunk Chloe came out, she made me pee outside. More than once.

Pop Some Bottles

Who doesn't love to celebrate? Seriously? Whether we're celebrating being alive, birthdays, holidays, mini goals, accomplishing goals, or we're already just white girl wasted and we're celebrating that, we all love it. Don't pretend you don't love to pop some bottles!

So when I saw that my lover face Jordan had joined a link up called Celebrate Everything, I told her I loved it and I was gonna join too, a couple days late of course. Hopefully the link up is still open!

Here's what I'm popping some bottles about this week.

My aunt has been released from her cardiologist to go back to work after a year long battle with cancer. She won!

Megan is a craft beer lover and has been really awesome and given me some recommendations of what to try. First, I was gonna try RJ Rockers Son of a Peach. But my podunk little ass town didn't have any. None. I called 5 liqour stores (including a Macadoodles), 2 grocery stores, and a gas station, but couldn't find shit. So what did Megan offer to do...send me some in the mail! Bam. Love her. And I'm probably going to have to hit her up for her favorite pumpkin beer too! I'll look first though!

I've been at OG for a year. I got a nice little pin and the best part is that I should qualify for a bonus check. Bam! I can't wait to find out if I get it or not. And I got another raise from them also. It's only when I'm hosting but I'll take a raise. Hell yeah!

Blake got an awesome opportunity to go to Cincinnati with his job. He gets to go to Visa HQ to learn customer service for the brand of cards he represents. They only selected two people and he was one of them. When he comes back they're going to hire a bunch of people and he gets to train them on customer service. Hopefully this eventually leads to a promotion for him.

 I joined a fantasy football team. It's mostly dudes. So I picked the name Tittsburg Feelers. I love it. Because I love boobs. But you knew that. Need a name? Go visit Sarah, she'll help you out.

I'm going to see Blake Shelton and Keith Urban in October. Maybe Florida Georgia Line if tickets are cheap enough. Eeeeep! This will be the second time I've seen Keith. I LOVE him.

This weekend is tax free weekend here in Missouri. Best believe I'm doing as much shopping as I can. I'm a little too excited.

It's almost time for our annual summer party at Blake's house. Shit gets crazy. If any of you wanna come please do! I love your faces. =)

A Little Late

I'm a little late to the party. Oops. But not really. My Wife taught me it's better to be late because then people pay attention. Ok, she didn't teach me that but gaww that girl makes us late everywhere. Anyway, I'm getting on a tangent.

Remember that time I went and saw Kenny Chesney in May? Well, I do. Kind of. And I want to do it all over again. It was a lot of fun.

I thought that I'd show you a few after pictures and tell you some stories.

After the concert was over we started to head to our car when I realized that there was good music playing outside. And at this moment I just decided that I was gonna dance. Who cares where we are, who I'm with, of what we're doing. I just wanna dance. That's why I love drunk me. Because she loves after parties. Sober me knows that after parties are just code for a hangover in the am.

If you look close enough, you'll notice that my shoes aren't on my feet. I was tired of them. They hurt so I took them off. I proceeded to tell Kyla that she could sell them if she wanted to. And she almost did. Some old cowboy dude wanted to buy my boots for his lady friend. Weirdo. Luckily, Kyla got smart and didn't sell them.

After the concert we also decided that we just need to tailgate a concert. Seriously. The party going on outside of the Kenny concert was almost bigger than the party going on inside. And none of us have tailgated before. I know, shame. We're just trying to find the perfect concert to do it at though. Kyla suggested Luke's. I suggested that she had a brain disorder. There's no way I'm going to a Luke concert and not getting to see him. Nope.

I also let drunk Chloe have her way and the bitch peed in some bushes outside of a convenient store with no shoes on and other drunk folk everywhere. The line in the bathroom was 54874 people long and I just can't hold it like I used to. Don't ever have kids. So I decided that outside in a bush was best for everyone. It wasn't. I managed to pee all over my jeans. Good thing I didn't care until the next day.

And that's how you party after you party.

I thought that I'd link up with Stephanie yesterday but my internet wasn't working so I'm doing it today!

And in honor of me backing it up after this concert I definitely have to join Whitney for #backthatazzup Friday. 

This week's jam is something that I always wanna back my azz up to. Every time I hear it I just have to dance.

Breaking News

So not last week, but the week before I took an early weekend from the blog. I thought it was necessary. You see, that week was the week that my wife finished her chemo! So of course a celebration dinner was in order. She made me choose between Outback and Applebees. Good food vs. Okay cheap food. Cheap won of course, so Applebees it was.

I bought her her first post chemo drink and it was a summer squeeze and it was delish! I got a long island of course. All that booze in one glass gets a good buzz going. Two glasses, I probably shouldn't drive home. That's my go to at AppleBees. Never had one? Try there first.

I should have probably edited her instagram name but go ahead and stalk her. She'll appreciate it. 

Summer Squeeze

Our waitress was super sweet and gave us a free mini brownie sundae to celebrate chemo being over! But the wife doesn't like chocolate. Like hates it. But she choked it down like a pro. It wasn't funny but it was funny. 

After dinner we went over to Blake's and told him he HAD to go get drinks with us. Normally on a school night he's not down but since it was a big deal he obliged. We were gonna go to B-dubs but decided to go over to a friend's house and drink with them. Funny story, Wife asked the lady friend of the couple if she wanted to hang out...and she didn't really want to. So Blake asked her husband and he said sure. We took his answer and ran with it. We took a 16 pack of budlight and a 12 pack of straw-ber-itas so we weren't empty handed. And we had great timing. Apparently there was no power in part of town. And they just happened to live in that part of town. We all hung out and drank and then the boys wondered off to the highway. I'm surprised they didn't get ran over. We had great girl time. Much needed. I didn't get any pictures because I couldn't charge my phone and we were all sweaty and gross anyway. 

Wife wanted to go home by 1 so we said ok. And at 12:30 we headed to another group of friends' house. We had her convinced that she was going to be home by 1. We lied. We waited for an old friend of Blake's to show up. And he took forevvvver. In the mean time Wife was gettin it. Seriously, I highly suggest making one of your friends be sober for awhile and then take them out drinking. It doesn't take much and it's hilarious! I wish I could tell you all the shit that came out of her mouth. But it's not really blog appropriate. 

See, our group of friends aren't really blog appropriate. But we're fucking awesome. And we give each other a lot of shit. So even if I told you, you wouldn't laugh because it's a you have to be there moment. 

We got home about 3. Ooops. And we all had to work the next day. When we got home Blake and I took Olivia outside for about 5 minutes. We came in and Wife was fully dressed passed the hell out on the couch. She didn't even look comfortable. =) Love that girl. 

Love him.

I told her I wouldn't post this but whatever. 

Friends and shit.

And I have breaking news for you....

As of yesterday at 730 in the morning...

Wife is in remission!! No more cancer.

We're so happy!

Proceed to Party

It's Thursday...almost time for Friday. Woot woot. And since it's Thursday it's time to link up with one of with one of my sassy favorites!

We all know that I love me some tequilla. And if you don't know...well now you do. I love it and it makes me happy happy happy. This weekend I consumed tequila. A lot of it. I pregamed with it, then had huge margs. HUGE. 

Double fisting at its finest.

More beer...

And more beer and margs. And I had no idea she was doing that! 

Oops...

And my personal favorite. It was just time to lay down. At least I threw up a peace sign. lol. 

I love parties and drinking. And this was sooo much fun! 

What A Weekend

Ahhhhhh!!!! I had a fabuous weekend but it went by so fast and I don't wanna go back to work tomorrow. Sad face. I know that I said last week that I hate doing weekend reviews and I really do, but this weekend has to have one. Actually, it will probably be reviewed all week. I promise not to go on about the same stuff over and over though. =)

We had a fabulous time! I don't think I've ever had a girl's weekend and this one just set the bar for the rest of them. I don't even know what I want to write about today so I'll just show you some pictures.

Wife, Myself, Auntie at BJ's Brewery

Our feet on the floor of the Dallas Cowboy Stadium

Seriously I was so excited to see this. I wrote about how I wanted to be one once, so 

this made me so so so happy!

Wife, Kyla, Myself, Auntie...get your drink on!

The one and only Mr. Eric Church!

Kenny 

The new tattoo that Auntie and I got. I just want you to know how bad this effin hurt

cupcakes. So bad. And it hurts soooo bad today. 

Wife and I before we left for our roadtrip!

There's a lot more where this came from. Fun stories, embarrassing pictures, all kinds of stuff! 

Come back tomorrow!

Party People

Two posts in one day...why of course. I mean it's this day:

Of course I have to blog again!

This may have been read before my other post of the day, and if you missed that shit, go back and read it. Pure gold.

Anyway...I was gonna post all the fun drinks I wanna try I'm gonna try this summer. But pinning shit from pinterest is a pain in the ass anymore. Get your shit together pinterest people. You made it way to hard to share our pins on our blogs.

So...now I'm sitting here thinking of what to talk about now. I've still got nothing. So here are some of my favorite party pictures. These are near and dear to my heart. And they say so much about my amazing group of friends.

Notice a theme? I like to make the kissy face/duck face when I've been drinking. And on that note...I need to get drunk soon. Plan. 

Snap Yo Fingaz!

I'm back! 

Did you guys miss me? I missed you. A whole bunch. And it's been a whole week since I've blogged. I just feel like I have nothing to talk about. Everything I think about posting seems really whiny and I don't know about you guys but I feel like I whine a lot and you probably get tired of it. It's just that I have so much stuff going through my head and I don't know what to do about any of it. It's a mess. I haven't been depressed in the "can't-get-up-just-want-to-cry" kinda way. I just feel lost. And it's not a pleasant feeling. 

Anyway, I came back today to talk about partying with Stephanie. I used to do it all the time, and it was so much fun. lol. Now I'm lazy and like to stay at home. But I thought I would put together another list of my favorite songs because that seemed to be a hit. These songs are the ones that make me wanna get up and go out. 

1. Back That Azz Up - Juvenile

Well duh, I think this gets any person ready to go out. 

2. Wear My Ring - Bart Crow Band

I don't know why this songs gets me all pumped up, but it does. I love it. lol.

3. Porn Star Dancing - My Darkest Days

I know I put this song as one of my favorite songs on my phone, and it really is a good song to sget started to. If you can stand still and not move just a little bit when his song is on, there's something wrong with you!

4. Cowboy - Kid Rock

Yes, Kid Rock gets me all pumped up. This would be my stripper song if I would have ever become one. And it probably was in my past life.

5. Walk It Out - DJ Unk

This song came out when I was in high school and I loved it. I still love it. It makes me wanna shake it and pretend that I know how to walk it out. Which - I don't.

6. Snap Yo Fingers - Lil Jon

Another old school song. What can I say, older stuff is a lot better than most of the stuff they have now. Yup.

I'm gonna leave this list on a weird number. I like it. What do you listen to when you're getting ready/pregaming? Anything I need to hear?

Now The Party Can Begin

When I found out that my the fantabulous Stephanie was having a party themed link up, I thought to myself "Self, how appropriate is that!" She is the queen of partying. And I knew i had to link up. Because duh, that's what awesome blog friends do.

I couldn't decide what the hell I wanted to post about since I don't really go out a lot. Than I realized that you guys have never seen footage from the birthday of all birthdays...21!

That's the boy dancing with me. 

That Wife girl.

Again, and our friend in the background

Everybody! My auntie is on crutches.

Auntie and I 

Again

The Princess

My auntie got a limo for all of us to bar hop in Joplin. It was pretty fun. There was some drama and if I could go back and do it again, I would. But I would do it right this time. The boy got more drunk than I did and puked all over said limo. I happened to put my hand in it! lol. And I had really good hair going on then too. I want it back please.

It's a PARRTAAYY

I'm back! I had to go on hiatus last week. My mind is becoming "what am I going to write tomorrow and the next day and the next...etc." and I don't want to be like that. So Happy Monday to ya! I know, most of you hate Mondays but I don't. It's like my Saturday. Except that this morning the little bitch reared her head later than when I expected her to and she froze my car door shut AGAIN. Thus making Mini late to school and this blog post later than what I wanted. But it's back to being a good day.


Saturday was Teagan's birthday party. (I don't use her name on here very often but I should) I mean I picked it because I liked it so I should use it. Well, that's a lie. Her dad picked it because I was so happy she was a girl I said you can name her whatever you want. Thank god her name isn't something like Chaniqua Chandelier. Crazy pregnancy hormones make you do things like tell the child's dad that he can pick a name. Anyway....This week she turns the big old 5! I had her birthday party this Saturday and it was great! She got a lot of stuff (like always, she's a bit spoiled) and had a great birthday. It was an ice cream party! I got stuff to make sundaes and floats. Nobody made a float and now I have extra soda which we don't drink at home. I'll let the pictures do the talking.

A cupcake cake!

This was an accident but it's cute as hell.

The birthday princess.

Princess Crown earrings...see...a princess. 

Blowing out her candles. Like her short hairs up front? She did that when I went to see Luke.

After her party we went to her birthday dinner at Applebee's. Where I proceeded to accidentally get drunk on Long Islands. But I only had two! I'm a cheap date. After that we came home and played with all of her new toys. Then it was adult time. The plan was to keep drinking. But I had lost my buzz and boyfriend's parents were home and we don't drink around them. Long story for another day. So we decided to watch The Walking Dead! SPOILER ALERT...don't keep reading if you haven't started the third season....

I've been waiting for Lori to die. I can't stand her. She is a terrible wife and mom. Oh, let me ignore my kid, Oh, let me sleep with my husband's best friend (in her defense, she thought he was dead, but still!) I just didn't like her. So I was excited for this to happen. But then it happened...and I sobbed uncontrollably. It broke my heart. I won't say how she died in case you kept reading this and haven't seen it yet. But it was so sad! Ugh. I stayed up until 5 am watching it which was a bad decision because it was the same night as the time change. I got to watch us all lose an hour. Groan. 

And that led us to Sunday...I was pretty disgruntled all day. I even wrote a post for you guys. But I didn't publish it. It was long the lines of "eff this, every thing gets on my nerves, eff eff eff." Fun huh. It's funny to read now. I went to work and found out that I got a 20 cent raise! I got a 4 out of 5 on my 6 month review which is pretty awesome! I'm super excited. 

Hopefully I can write more this week. We'll see. Have a great day loves!