Life Lately (july)

Just when you finally start to not remember this blog, I come back.

Heeeeey.

Since I don't even know where to start I'll just give you a glimpse of what I've been up to lately according to my phone's camera lens.

warning, this is kind of pic heavy. sorry for your eyes.

These are in no particular order

I celebrated my wife's birthday. Not just once, but three times! The weekend  before we had a bonfire. I got to play nurse/mom. Have you ever had a drunk nurse? You don't want one. On her birthday we went to a nice dinner and then had a mini girls' night with some friends. The weekend after we went to JB's Piano Bar. It's a dueling piano bar and I always have such a great time when I'm there. Which until recently, had only been twice. This time I volunteered to be dd because I had to work the next day. When did I grow up? 

I spent time with this spitfire little girl. Oh man, she's growing and changing more everyday. She seems more and more like a mini adult. It needs to stop. She even told me I wasn't cool. Apparently there's a dance to "Turn Down for What". Well, at 23 years old I officially don't give a shit about new dances that go to club music, therefore I didn't know it. But they played the cha cha slide and I told her I knew the dance to that and she informed me that she "Didn't care. It's not cool." Pshhh what does she know.

I got a trim. I meany my my hair got cut off. then I decided to shock everybody and have it straightened. I thoguht you needed a bathroom selfie. I'm so good at this blog thing. It doesn't look to short, but that's because I had nothing to compare it to. But I miss it a lot. I need it to grow out quickly please.

I've spent a lot of quality time with this lady. God I love that dog.

And the majority of the time was spent working. I've worked a lot (for me) lately. And most of the time it's goofing off. Proof with the pretty unicorn cone cups. I hope she never sees the most embarrassing picture of her ever. 

Last night Blake, Teagan, and I had a nice little date night. Then this morning I had the perfect opportunity to capture pictures of this handsome fat boy. Personally, I think they're pretty good for an iphone. Loooove.

Has your life been good lately? Tell me about it.

Living the Grandma Life

I am alive cupcakes! I really am. It's amazing I know.

It's been a long what seems like two weeks away from here. I've been busy. Ok, not really just too lazy to pull out the laptop. I had nothing to blog about but now my mind is overflowing with things to blog about.
But I can't blog about anything because my damn wifi isn't working. So to solve this problem, I drove on over to McDonald's in my pj's with no bra on because I believe in blogging comfortably. So I get the wifi issue fixed and then my phone starts to fuck up. My computer won't read my phone and I can't update it or upload my pictures to my computer. #firstworldproblems at it's finest.

Anyway....

So I actually pretended to have a life this past weekend. I know, I know I can't believe it either. Before we get started I have to say there are very little pictures. Sorry.

- Thursday after Teagan's cheer practice the wonderful wife text me and said she wanted to get a drink. So I swung by her house and off we went to get a drink. Now, most of you would have assumed an adult beverage right? Well, not me. Apparently I have a grandma brain at the ripe age of 23. I picked her up and swung over to Sonic. I pull in and she says "...this isn't what I meant by a drink..." I felt dumb. lol. So we go to the bar and proceed to have 1 drink. One turns in to two, two turns into the bartender asking me to do her dishes for a free drink...so our one drink is really 3 deep. Mind you she hasn't drank in seven months and I'm on my third long island. But it was a great time! Blake really enjoyed us when we eventually made it to his house.

- Friday I woke up with the worst hangover ever. EVER. I wanted to crawl in a hole and not come back out for days. I still ended up going to work for some reason. Apparently I enjoy pain and being publicly ridiculed by all the wonderful people I work with. After work I tried to sleep but I just couldn't. The wife was having a bonfire. I scooped Blake up and off we went. It was a nice time except I stayed sober and I still felt like shit. We stayed up until 4 again.

At this point I've had 3-5 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. My grandma brain is NOT ok with this. It almost killed me.

- Saturday after I woke up from my nice long slumber (hangover free!!!) the wife, my mom, and myself went to grab a bite to eat. Then I layed up on the couch all day and enjoyed the shit out of it. I watched ATL, ya know the movie with T.I. in it that has to do with roller skating. Pretty nice movie. What's not a nice movie is Bring It On 3. Why did they keep making them? Why???? I was tired of feeling like a bum, so I got up, cleaned out my car.

Then it was time for the big event of the weekend.

Hunter Hayes, Dan + Shay, and Danielle Bradbery were my nghtly entertainment. Ya know I can't get enough concerts!

I'm not really sure what Dan + Shay are about yet, but they can sing.
Danielle was good. She needs a little more energy.
And the man of the hour, Hunter Hayes.
This kid can perform. He never ran out of energy. Between the 39097438 instruments he played and running all over the stage, I was impressed with his talent. However, he has a lot of slow songs. Which he played. The concert was a little more mellow than what I'm used to. I'm not complaining by any means, it just wasn't my style. And there were so many little girls....like 6-12 year olds. I kind of felt out of place.

But my momma loved every second of it. She adores him. And they got super close to each other so she was excited!

All in all, it was a good weekend. But I'm glad it's over so that I can catch up with my grandma life.

Loss

What a week. I hadn't planned on taking a week off but sometimes life sweeps us off our feet. And that's what it did to me last week. Unfortunately it wasn't in a good way.

My best friend (aka my wife) was 24 weeks along when unexpectedly, her baby boy had passed away. IT all started like a normal week and Tuesday I got the news. I did my errands and got over to the hospital to be with her as she needed a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on. I spent all day at the hospital and I was worn out.

I had managed to hold it together for her sake, but when I got to my car and drove home I lost it. I cried lots and lots of tears. I cried because I was so excited to meet my nephew, because I just don't understand why God takes little ones, but most of all, I cried for my best friend. I cried because my heart hurt for her. I didn't feel like I should have been crying but I couldn't stop.

The rest of the week was spent working and checking in at the hospital to make sure she didn't need even the smallest little thing. And it wasn't spent in a good mood. After the initial shock wore off, I was mad. Mad that other people could have babies but she couldn't. Mad that I wouldn't get to watch this little guy grow up. Mad that her heart hurt. Every time I saw a baby I would just get this jealous rage feeling in my heart.

I was mad at God most of all. I know I don't talk about religion very often. I don't even know what I believe. I just say God because I mean, that's what I know most. I was mad at this Supreme being. I was more than mad. I was enraged for an entire week. I moped around everywhere, I didn't want to be at work. I cried more times than I can count. I didn't sleep good but I slept hard. I passed out every night last week not even remembering what happened as I laid down.

I was grieving. And it wasn't in a good way. I don't even know if there is a good way to grieve. Grief is a mean mother fucker. It sucks your soul dry until it can't suck anymore. Then it sits in your heart making you feel like life is over.

After my grief, came acceptance. We laid the sweet boy to rest today. It was hard and I cried a little. Again, I lost it when I got to the car. It was a good service. Things that the pastor were saying made a lot of sense. Even if we don't like what happened, it happened for a reason. I guess. I don't really know. Sarah posted something on fb today. In it she stated that she wasn't mad at God. (side note, she is a christian so yes, no question on God for her) She said that she was mad at herself. At her body. Mad that she couldn't change things. And that's when I stopped being mad. I realized that if she wouldn't/couldn't be mad at her god, then I shouldn't be either. I realized that my best friend needed me more than she would ever say because she was mad at herself.

So came the acceptance. My heart still hurts and it will; but now it's time for me to help heal my friend. I text her immediately and explained there wasn't anything she could have done or not done. I told her not to be mad at herself. So now, I'll push my grief to the back and focus on doing anything this person I love needs me to do for her. I guess that's all I really can do.

We Work

Occasionally people come along in your life and for some reason they just work. Ok, there isn't really a "some" reason. And today Taylor and Bon decided they would do a link up discussing why you and your (insert name of person here) work so well together. You're supposed to pick one person or thing or whatever but I picked a couple. Here we go!

Blake and I work for two reasons in particular. The first being that we both are lazy asses who love to watch tv. Seriously I wish there was a place for us to go watch tv for a date because we'd do it. We watch so many shows together. And when one of us is watching a show the other doesn't want to...we either tune it our or suck it up buttercup! Secondly, we work because he can tell me no. Any other guy I've dated wouldn't tell me no. I hate being told no, but at the same time I need it. And so does he. He's not really been told no much either, but I don't always take his shit either. That's why we work, because we give each other shit but we don't take shit either. It's kind of oxymoronic but it works. And we just love each other. I mean duh!

I mean, look at those smiles. And we like to drink together.

Then there's the wife. We work because we don't like people. I know that sounds terrible, but most people get on my nerves. And she feels the same way. But for some reason, we don't rub each other the wrong way. She can spill her guts and say whatever is on her mind. And I can do the same. We don't even have to talk, we can just sit with each other and be on our phones and be fine with just the company. And we can sleep in the same bed. That's what wives are for. We work because we're both willing to listen. I believe that's what it boils down to.

I love this picture of us.

And that's all the love I can share for today. I have to save my love for myself for tomorrow cuz ya know it's my BIRTHDAY! Woot woot. 

Enjoy Life

I'm alive guys. I don't know if you noticed but I was absent yesterday. If you saw twitter, then you know why. If not, let me show ya.

I missed my stop to get off the struggle bus and now I've landed to still drunk in the morning ville.
— Chloe Ashworth (@CloverMarie214) August 6, 2013

And half of it doesn't even make sense so obviously I was still drunk. Yesterday sucked. Especially when I had to work. But it was good times and completely worth it. I got to hangout with my wife and we got trashed, like the light weights we are. I only consumed 3 longs islands, 2 bud light platinums, and a shot of patron.  But it worked it's magic.

We started off at Applebees because they have 2-for-1s and half price apps after 9. I even took my new friend Cooper, who I created at build-a-bear, and he enjoyed some long islands too. I took to instagram to prove it. I don't usually bring stuffed animals with me everywhere I go but I knew it would get laughs so I did. Or wtf looks and that worked too. And brought me laughs.

yes, he wears cowboy boots

I know we all just want to be skinny but I love food so much. So much. But I've decided that unless I'm eating my parmesan and shrimp sirloin from Applebees, I don't need to order food. We ordered too much and it was just ok.

those pretzels aren't the greatest and they were a lot bigger than expected!

After that we came back home and continued to drink some more. Only this time we did it on my front porch while it rained. That was some of the loudest, most bangiest, thunder I've heard in a long time. It gave me heart attacks on occassion. We took too many selfies, laughed way to hard, and had in all around good time. I'm ready to do it again.

only decent one and we still can't get it right.

that's rain, not beer.

Sorry about the shitty quality, I don't have a good steady hand when I've been drinking. Just some of the classicness that is us. Wanna come hang out?

p.s. Drunk Chloe came out, she made me pee outside. More than once.

Let's High Five and #backthatazzup

We made it to Friday. Woot woot. I work all weekend but managed to give my Saturday morning shift away so I can go to my niece's second birthday! I might find a way to sneak some booze in. That would make me super ultra mega fun and work would be so much better =). Let's high five some shit.

1. Last weekend I had Saturday off and we had a family day. It was nice. We went to eat hibachi, where my crazy kid tried sushi. I was proud of her. That's like I don't even know. Just major! After that we went to the movie theater and played in the arcade for a while. Then we saw Monsters University. I don't really know if it was good because Teagan can't sit still in a movie theater STILL. How long does it take??? After that we went to my Wife's bbq she was hosting to thank everybody for supporting her while she was dealing with cancer. Girl doesn't cook but she did good. I was proud ;). And then it was time for some fireworks! Busy Saturday for sure.

2. I went on a shopping spree yesterday and bought way to much shit but it was so much fun. A girl deserves to go shopping every now and then. And shop we did. I ended up with 3 new pairs of shoes, 3 new dresses, some hair stuffs, and panties. Panty shopping is fun. The only womp womp of the day was that I couldn't find anything on the sale racks. I can always find good sales with cute clothes but not yesterday. Everything I wanted was expensive! All I wanted were maxi dresses and skirts. I was in total fall mode too.

3. I went swimming on Tuesday. And got another sunburn. And it fucking sucks. But Teagan and I had a great time so it was worth it. That's why I took Wednesday off. After a sunburn I just want to sleep and cry. I only go out in the sun every 10 years, I told Blake to enjoy this tan because he won't see me tan for 10 more years.

please ignore how wide my leg looks. It happens when I sit down. 

4. Wife and I went to dinner at Olive Garden Wednesday night (yes, even though I work there, it was her birthday) and I had a great drink. Seriously if you're ever at an OG again, try a Strawberry Limoncello Martini. It was great. I got a buzz. A buzz for an expensive ass price though. But it was sooo worth it. And I don't drink sweet sugary drinks but this was good.

5. It's school supply time! I seriously get so excited for this time of year. I can't wait to go to Target and buy a pretty new planner that I won't ever use. And 5254164 notebooks that I don't need. But I can say that they're for Teagan now!

And now...the moment everybody's been waiting for....

Yes, just yes. Now go on, shake ya ass. Just make sure you close the door so your coworkers don't see you getting your freak on. Or don't. Whatever works. 

Happy Friday Cupcakes!

Breaking News

So not last week, but the week before I took an early weekend from the blog. I thought it was necessary. You see, that week was the week that my wife finished her chemo! So of course a celebration dinner was in order. She made me choose between Outback and Applebees. Good food vs. Okay cheap food. Cheap won of course, so Applebees it was.

I bought her her first post chemo drink and it was a summer squeeze and it was delish! I got a long island of course. All that booze in one glass gets a good buzz going. Two glasses, I probably shouldn't drive home. That's my go to at AppleBees. Never had one? Try there first.

I should have probably edited her instagram name but go ahead and stalk her. She'll appreciate it. 

Summer Squeeze

Our waitress was super sweet and gave us a free mini brownie sundae to celebrate chemo being over! But the wife doesn't like chocolate. Like hates it. But she choked it down like a pro. It wasn't funny but it was funny. 

After dinner we went over to Blake's and told him he HAD to go get drinks with us. Normally on a school night he's not down but since it was a big deal he obliged. We were gonna go to B-dubs but decided to go over to a friend's house and drink with them. Funny story, Wife asked the lady friend of the couple if she wanted to hang out...and she didn't really want to. So Blake asked her husband and he said sure. We took his answer and ran with it. We took a 16 pack of budlight and a 12 pack of straw-ber-itas so we weren't empty handed. And we had great timing. Apparently there was no power in part of town. And they just happened to live in that part of town. We all hung out and drank and then the boys wondered off to the highway. I'm surprised they didn't get ran over. We had great girl time. Much needed. I didn't get any pictures because I couldn't charge my phone and we were all sweaty and gross anyway. 

Wife wanted to go home by 1 so we said ok. And at 12:30 we headed to another group of friends' house. We had her convinced that she was going to be home by 1. We lied. We waited for an old friend of Blake's to show up. And he took forevvvver. In the mean time Wife was gettin it. Seriously, I highly suggest making one of your friends be sober for awhile and then take them out drinking. It doesn't take much and it's hilarious! I wish I could tell you all the shit that came out of her mouth. But it's not really blog appropriate. 

See, our group of friends aren't really blog appropriate. But we're fucking awesome. And we give each other a lot of shit. So even if I told you, you wouldn't laugh because it's a you have to be there moment. 

We got home about 3. Ooops. And we all had to work the next day. When we got home Blake and I took Olivia outside for about 5 minutes. We came in and Wife was fully dressed passed the hell out on the couch. She didn't even look comfortable. =) Love that girl. 

Love him.

I told her I wouldn't post this but whatever. 

Friends and shit.

And I have breaking news for you....

As of yesterday at 730 in the morning...

Wife is in remission!! No more cancer.

We're so happy!

Booze and Broadway

I guess I'm back finally. Did you miss me? I missed you. I've got so much to talk about I don't even know where to start. My life has been full of exciting stuff. And it's weird!

Everybody has a bucket list. And if you say you don't, I don't believe you. Although mine isn't written anywhere on this blog, I keep a running list in my head. I mean, it's kind of hard to forget amazing shit you want to do. Anyway, on this pretty little list of mine, one of the biggest things I had to do is see a show on/from Broadway. And this girl finally got to do it!!

Last Tuesday, I got to see The Lion King!!!!! The one Broadway show that I had to see before I kicked the bucket. I still can't believe I got to see it.

My mom, Teagan, Wife, Auntie, Grandma, my cousin Josh, and one of my auntie's other nieces all went to Tulsa to see it. And it was fucking amazing. I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry. I was just so excited and had this rush of emotions and crying is what happens when I have a rush of emotions. Lion King is one of my most favorite movies of ever. I watched and rewatched it when I was little. So this was a big deal.

Plus, I got some booze out of the whole thing. Ummm yes! But, when you go to OK, be careful. They have some stupid liquor laws such as there beer doesn't have as much alcohol in it as the beer in Missouri. So drink a little more to make up for it. Then again, Missouri has some of the loosest liquor laws in all the land. =) One more reason I don't know if I could move away.

The show itself was just amazing. Fucking amazing. Whatever I was expecting was blown away. Some of the actors had the character's voices down perfect. Especially Scar and Zazu. I can't imagine how much work these people put into these shows. They were flawless. To go from a big stage in NYC to one probably half the size in Tulsa, that takes talent. I can't even pick a favorite part because it's all my favorite. And our seats were in the second row right behind the orchestra. Amazing seats. Just amazing!

My mom lost her shit driving there. And it wasn't funny at the time but it is now. I thought she was gonna kill us. Or somebody else. She hates getting lost as to where myself and the Wife enjoy it. It adds more adventure. Apparently not. And she reads this blog so I can't wait to hear what she has to say.

Outfit choice. I look like a chunk but I've perfected one hand on the hip. Ladies, take it from me,

don't ever let a man take pictures of you. You'll always look fat. 

Teagan and Wife. Drinking too much mountain dew. 

We made it.

the ticket, the building, my program to keep forever and ever, and the back ground before it started. 

Unfortunately, but totally understandable, you can't take any pictures of the show. I get this but at the same time it kinda blows. 

She was tired of me and this face proves it.

One of the coolest things about this theater was that they served booze. I mean, I haven't been to very many theaters but I didn't think that they would have my favorite past time ready to go. When we got there I just had a beer because I was in a hurry to order. Who am I kidding, I just love beer. Yum. They also let you pre-order drinks for intermission. And my choice was some bubbly. Because champagne makes anything classy. Right? I didn't even have to wait in line for it. They set up this nice little table with all the drinks on them. When you pre-ordered you got a little card with a number. All you had to do was find your number, grab your drink, and chug that shit because you only got 15 minutes. And if you're with my Wife, you'll have to chug hers too because she won't like it. And then you'll be tipsy watching the rest of the Lion King and you'll have to pee so bad you can't sit still. 

Gettin' my drink on.

I tried to be artsy because the wife said so. I think it looks dumb. But hey here's a picture of some bubbly.

The trailer.

After it was over the first thing out of my mouth was "Let's watch it again!" I could have sat there and not moved, except to get more bubbly and use the ladies, and watched it all over again. I'm 54683 % sure that each time you watch it you notice more and more. So if you ever want to take me out, here's your chance. Just take me to a broadway show and I'm yours forever. And Ever. 

A Boozy Haze

Good morning cupcakes! Hope you all had a wonderful three day weekend. I had a wonderful 1 day weekend and I plan on showing you all the wonderful pictures from it.

My Wife and I hadn't seen each other since the Kenny concert and she missed me. Ok, I missed her too, but I decided that we were going to our local casino, DownStream, for their brunch buffet. That shit was the bomb. I had a legit food baby all day because I ate too much.

This is also how I ended up passed out by 8:30. More about that later.

Arriving

They have a quesadilla/omelette station. Guys, that's a big deal for the podunk town I live in.

Unexpected chocolate lava cake. But it was sooooo good. 

Don't even get me started on the dessert bar.

This may have you fooled, it's not just oj. It's a mimosa. In the largest glass in the history of ever. Around here, people apparently don't know what a mimosa is, or what glass it should come in. I asked if it was normal for them to come in a glass like this, the lady said she wasn't sure what kind of glass I'd like it in. Weird huh. Not one to turn away extra booze, I drank it like a champ. And I soon spent the rest of my Sunday in a boozy haze.

If my eyes don't give it away, I don't know what does.

Had to try these babies. They're just ok. I'll stick to the regular ones. But it did help my booze induced haze.

And then, I was out at 8:30. Sleeping like a baby. And it was wonderful. 

Proceed to Party

It's Thursday...almost time for Friday. Woot woot. And since it's Thursday it's time to link up with one of with one of my sassy favorites!

We all know that I love me some tequilla. And if you don't know...well now you do. I love it and it makes me happy happy happy. This weekend I consumed tequila. A lot of it. I pregamed with it, then had huge margs. HUGE. 

Double fisting at its finest.

More beer...

And more beer and margs. And I had no idea she was doing that! 

Oops...

And my personal favorite. It was just time to lay down. At least I threw up a peace sign. lol. 

I love parties and drinking. And this was sooo much fun!