Enjoy Life

I'm alive guys. I don't know if you noticed but I was absent yesterday. If you saw twitter, then you know why. If not, let me show ya.

I missed my stop to get off the struggle bus and now I've landed to still drunk in the morning ville.
— Chloe Ashworth (@CloverMarie214) August 6, 2013

And half of it doesn't even make sense so obviously I was still drunk. Yesterday sucked. Especially when I had to work. But it was good times and completely worth it. I got to hangout with my wife and we got trashed, like the light weights we are. I only consumed 3 longs islands, 2 bud light platinums, and a shot of patron.  But it worked it's magic.

We started off at Applebees because they have 2-for-1s and half price apps after 9. I even took my new friend Cooper, who I created at build-a-bear, and he enjoyed some long islands too. I took to instagram to prove it. I don't usually bring stuffed animals with me everywhere I go but I knew it would get laughs so I did. Or wtf looks and that worked too. And brought me laughs.

yes, he wears cowboy boots

I know we all just want to be skinny but I love food so much. So much. But I've decided that unless I'm eating my parmesan and shrimp sirloin from Applebees, I don't need to order food. We ordered too much and it was just ok.

those pretzels aren't the greatest and they were a lot bigger than expected!

After that we came back home and continued to drink some more. Only this time we did it on my front porch while it rained. That was some of the loudest, most bangiest, thunder I've heard in a long time. It gave me heart attacks on occassion. We took too many selfies, laughed way to hard, and had in all around good time. I'm ready to do it again.

only decent one and we still can't get it right.

that's rain, not beer.

Sorry about the shitty quality, I don't have a good steady hand when I've been drinking. Just some of the classicness that is us. Wanna come hang out?

p.s. Drunk Chloe came out, she made me pee outside. More than once.

You Might Be an Alcoholic If...

By now we all know of Venus's Irvester Award. And I think we're all pretty damn proud of it. I was hoping somebody would nominate me and I finally got my wish! Kelley over at One Hot Southern Mess nominated me for this wonderful award!

such a pretty little button

And for the rules

1. Acknowledge who nominated you. Thanks Kelley!!!2. Answer the 10 questions below 3. Nominate 10 bloggers you think are excellent drinkers4. Do not change the questions.5. Don't nominate the blog that nominated you. That's it.

What is your favorite drinking game and why? 

Beer pong...the "original" drinking game. I know it's not really but whatever. I suck at beer pong but I still get a little kick out of playing. There was the one time that Rockstar by Nickelback was playing and I didn't miss one shot until somebody turned the song off. 

It is your birthday, what is your idea of the perfect evening?
I want to start day drinking as soon as we wake up and lounge by a pool it's February so none of that. We just chill and hang out until dinner where we have a nice dinner followed by an awesome house party or bonfire. 

Money is no object, what is your go to drink of choice at a bar?
Long island ice teas, margaritas, beer, or just shots of patron. I'm not too picky obviously. Gotta throw a Redbull in there some where because I loooove them!

Take this alcohol screening quiz here, what score did you receive?
Your score is 35%. According to the Office of Health Care Programs, Johns Hopkins University Hospital, developers of this screening quiz, if you answered 3 of these questions with a Yes it is a definite sign that your drinking patterns are harmful and possibly considered alcohol dependent or alcoholic. You may want to seek an evaluation by a healthcare professional.

What is your favorite memory with alcohol?
Oh boy. There's so many to choose from. Kenny Chesney, my 20th birthday, my 21rst birthday. The night Blake and I made it "official". I can't choose just one.


What is your favorite song about drinking? Or song to drink to?
Anything by Eric Church. He has good drinking songs. Or Kenny. Or rap. lol. I'm not a picky music person.

What is your favorite activity to do while drinking (i.e. boating, bowling, golf, trivia, etc.)
Dancing, card games, or just hanging out. I would say swimming but every time I've tried that I've almost drown. It's not a good idea.


In your opinion, which is the number one party school in the country and why?
I don't have an opinion. I don't know anything about schools except they're almost all better because they allow drinking at football games. Not mine. Nope. Let's take a way a college kid's right to drink. Womp womp.
When do you know you have had too much to drink? What are your signals?
My left eye starts to get lazy. I repeat myself a lot. I start to take a lot more pictures. And I basically don't give a damn what mean people think. And I cry. 

hello lazy left eye. Nice to see you. My hair looks black..it's never been black.

drunk laughing selfie. The best.

So I have to pick 10 fabulous ladies...a lot of the ones I would pick have already been chosen so forgive me if there aren't 10

Jordan

Amanda

Katie

Alissa

Meg

Adrianna

Steph

I'm a rebel...that's all I've got. 

A Boozy Haze

Good morning cupcakes! Hope you all had a wonderful three day weekend. I had a wonderful 1 day weekend and I plan on showing you all the wonderful pictures from it.

My Wife and I hadn't seen each other since the Kenny concert and she missed me. Ok, I missed her too, but I decided that we were going to our local casino, DownStream, for their brunch buffet. That shit was the bomb. I had a legit food baby all day because I ate too much.

This is also how I ended up passed out by 8:30. More about that later.

Arriving

They have a quesadilla/omelette station. Guys, that's a big deal for the podunk town I live in.

Unexpected chocolate lava cake. But it was sooooo good. 

Don't even get me started on the dessert bar.

This may have you fooled, it's not just oj. It's a mimosa. In the largest glass in the history of ever. Around here, people apparently don't know what a mimosa is, or what glass it should come in. I asked if it was normal for them to come in a glass like this, the lady said she wasn't sure what kind of glass I'd like it in. Weird huh. Not one to turn away extra booze, I drank it like a champ. And I soon spent the rest of my Sunday in a boozy haze.

If my eyes don't give it away, I don't know what does.

Had to try these babies. They're just ok. I'll stick to the regular ones. But it did help my booze induced haze.

And then, I was out at 8:30. Sleeping like a baby. And it was wonderful. 

Proceed to Party

It's Thursday...almost time for Friday. Woot woot. And since it's Thursday it's time to link up with one of with one of my sassy favorites!

We all know that I love me some tequilla. And if you don't know...well now you do. I love it and it makes me happy happy happy. This weekend I consumed tequila. A lot of it. I pregamed with it, then had huge margs. HUGE. 

Double fisting at its finest.

More beer...

And more beer and margs. And I had no idea she was doing that! 

Oops...

And my personal favorite. It was just time to lay down. At least I threw up a peace sign. lol. 

I love parties and drinking. And this was sooo much fun! 

Now The Party Can Begin

When I found out that my the fantabulous Stephanie was having a party themed link up, I thought to myself "Self, how appropriate is that!" She is the queen of partying. And I knew i had to link up. Because duh, that's what awesome blog friends do.

I couldn't decide what the hell I wanted to post about since I don't really go out a lot. Than I realized that you guys have never seen footage from the birthday of all birthdays...21!

That's the boy dancing with me. 

That Wife girl.

Again, and our friend in the background

Everybody! My auntie is on crutches.

Auntie and I 

Again

The Princess

My auntie got a limo for all of us to bar hop in Joplin. It was pretty fun. There was some drama and if I could go back and do it again, I would. But I would do it right this time. The boy got more drunk than I did and puked all over said limo. I happened to put my hand in it! lol. And I had really good hair going on then too. I want it back please.

I Can't Come Up With Anything Original

Yesterday should forever be remembered as the day I got it together. Not a joke in anyway! i got up yesterday morning, went to the post office, I've done a lot of homework, scheduled appointments, and turned in some things I needed to turn in. Hallelujah  It feels so good to be a normal adult. Not procrastinating and not doing stuff I should be doing. Hopefully I can get it together and be more *gasp* responsible. Shhh...don't say that word too loud, it's kind of scary.

Anyway...like I told you Friday, I was off of work this past weekend and boy was it nice. I didn't even have to request it off, it was just given to me. And I got Monday off too. Three day weekend - Holla!!

Friday I did the usual, work. I worked a double and I don't ever wanna work a double on Good Friday ever again. Friday doubles are supposed to be easy peasy and relaxing. Not this shit. Kids were out of school and parents felt lazy I guess so we were pretty busy all day long.

Saturday was great! I woke up planning to do all kinds of stuff but did nothing but couch surf my afternoon away. I love being a bum. I know I had homework to do but I just needed to turn off for the day. So that's what I did. I knew it was time to get around though. I had to run into the dark abyss of the world Walmart to find something for mini for Easter from the bunny - which she doesn't believe in. More on that later. I was grumpy and ultra super emotional. Womp womp...all my ladies know why. So because I felt like a terrible mom for buying Easter presents the night before Easter I had a mini meltdown with my mom at Walmart. But at least I wasn't in my sweat pants! I ended up buying some stuff and regretting it because I saw all the other kids' baskets on fb and felt terrible for not making her one. I just bought some clothes for her. Next year I vow to do better and start earlier. After that it was time to go get the man and go out! Yes, that's right, I went out. Momma, Boyfriend, and I went to Kitchen Pass (a hole in the wall with amazing birthday cake shots) to watch her friends' bands play. First up was The Rampaging Sons of the Widow James...yeah that's the whole name. Why would anybody name their band something that long? Beats the piss outta me. Then it was time for Dirty Deeds - an AC/DC cover band! They rocked!!

The Madre and I 

I felt special having my name on something reserved!

Ignore my weird facial structure. 

Just a picture. 

If my video ever finishes uploading to Youtube, I'll put it on here. If not, well, I hate Youtube so whatever. My shit never works right. 

I drank a lot and proceeded to have a wonderful evening with my family! I love being a happy drunk. I'm not always but this time I was and life was good. We had a wonderful evening.

Then it was Easter! It was Teagan's dad's holiday so I didn't get to wake up with her. That shit is so weird and hard sometimes. Anyway, Madre, Madre's Madre, Boyfriend and I all went to Golden Coral for lunch. Classy, I know. My grandma was gonna cook but her hunnie had a migrane and it was just easier to go out to eat. The food was just so so. Don't ever go to restaurants on holidays. It's not going to be as great as it could be! But I did have a cool cookie.

See, pretty awesome huh!

My mom's disgusted face at some kind of pie. I died a little.

After lunch Boyfriend and I headed back to his place so I could relish in some afternoon hangover napping. Which never happened. Sad face. Then Teagan's dad decided that I could have her for the afternoon so I jumped in my car and picked her up. She looked so cute and grown up. I need a way to stop that shit. We went home, did the Easter thing there. That's when I learned about the bunny. I asked if she was ready to see what the bunny brought her and she said something along the line of well, what you got me but we pretend it's from the Easter bunny. He's not real. I just said ok. And then harassed her about Santa. I don't think she believes in him either but she wouldn't outright say it. She's only 5! How can she already not believe?? Oh well, one less lie to tell her. I got my basket, she got hers. We were happy. Then we went to my dad's for his side of the family's Easter. He grilled some ribs and hamburgers but made these awesome sauce baked potatoes that I went to town on. MMM so good. We gabbed and played until 8 when I realized I really needed to get Teag back to her dad's. This is the only pic I got of her and it's not even mine. This is her with her sister. Blogger fail, but at least I got one at all! On the ride home I let her sit in the front because I get tired of being a damn taxi lady. She passed out and in that moment, I wished that time would have stopped. I wish that I could have held her hand and just enjoyed that moment. 

Have a great Tuesday cupcakes! I've got school today and I close at work. Womp womp. Love your faces!