I bought a swimming suit today.....for the first time since I've had my daughter. 4 whole long years. It's a size _______ . (I'm not ready to tell you what size I am). The same size that most of my non-junior size clothes are. And in some places....it was too small =(. Wanna talk about being discouraged? Because I'm way up there.
I have a problem with my body. Not gonna lie. I know it's my own fault and I need to change my ways and there are no excuses. It's just not that easy. For all of you who are scoffing "Oh, this bitch needs to get over it and just do it.", well fuck you.
See, I have a terrible body image of myself. I see a different person when I look in the mirror. Everybody says that I'm not that big, but it sure does feel like it. I look 5 months pregnant in my head. I know that I have huge boobs so nobody really sees how flabby I am, but I do. And I feel gross. I think about how my stomach looks all day, everyday. It's always in my mind...most of the time the front, but sometimes in the back. But I still know it's there.
Ok, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being bigger if you're comfortable in your own skin. I think it's wonderful when women can be proud of being a size that society considers "plus-size". However, I can't get behind that for myself. Please don't think that I think every woman needs to be a size 4. I don't feel that way AT ALL.
I don't like healthy foods. I know I should suck it up and eat them anyway...but who wants to eat something they really don't like?? I can't stand lettuce. The texture, taste, smell, and everything about it is just disgusting. And texture is a big thing for me so I'm not a fan of a lot of veggies or fruits. So I have to try portion control. It's not the easiest. Nobody likes to be hungry...and portion control can leave you feeling that way until you get used to it. And exercise....I LOVE LOVE LOVE exercising. But for some reason, I just can't get myself motivated to do it.
I always look at the size of other women. And I always compare myself. More often than not, I'm feeling "Ugh, I wanna be tiny like her." It's not on purpose, it's just what I do. And it's not just once a day. It's all day. Every where I go.
I don't really know why I wrote this post. But I feel better admitting it. I need to make myself feel better. I know I do. I just wish that there was an easier way. I could do lipo....hahaha kidding! But sometimes I think about it ;).
So yeah. I'm not going to ask you what I should do. I know what I need to do. And I'm definitely not looking for "oh, your fine and cute and stuff" compliments. Thank you, but no thank you. Encouragement is welcomed though! lol.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
Get to Know Me!
I've decided that you guys really don't know a lot about me. I don't have any tabs and I don't think I've posted an about me post either. I thought that this would help a lot!
This link up is found over on Stuff I Love. A really fab lady named Cat is who lives
over there.
1. How did you come up with the name of your blog?
Honestly, I have no idea. I used to say "and stuff" at the end of everything
and I didn't think that was enough for a blog title. However, it may get a change, because
I'm not sure if I like it or not.
2. What inspires your posts the most?
My brain really. And getting some more readers. Those two really inspire me.
Yeah, people say that readers don't matter, but who wants to write
a public blog that people aren't reading? And the rest of the
time I'm writing what I feel.
3. What is the greatest challenge you face when blogging?
Oh my, since I'm so new at this, there really are alot. Keeping up with posting and reading
other blogs are a huge challenge right now. I don't want to post too little and lose my readers.
Also, the design of my blog is still a template from blogger and I've been trying to decide if I should
pay somebody to spruce it up.
4. Besides blogging, what activities occupy your time?
Well, up until 2 weeks ago I've had a fulltime juob for 2 years and a part-time job for 2 years.
I worked at the same place for 4 years. I am currently in between jobs and I hate it.
I'm about to start my 4th year of college in the fall. I should be a senior, but I'm not. This is because
I have a 4 year-old. So mothering, school, and a job used to occupy my time.
If I do get actual free time there are a few things I'll do.
- sleep ;)
-i love to read
- shop
- catch up on bad tv
-have girls' nights
5. What got you into blogging in the first place?
School did. It was an assignment for my online english class to start and post in it 2 times a week.
I ended up falling in love with it. And it's taken off since then.
6. Do you have any special projects on your blog? (linky parties, charities, events, weekly posts, etc).
Not that I have created, no. I do link ups and like to stick to them
every week. I would like to start a weekly post though. I may do that!
7. From where do you post?
Most of the time on a couch. At my boyfriend's house. In Missouri. Joplin Metropolitan area.
8. Do you have any blogging words of wisdom to share?
Since I still consider myself a newbie, not really. However, I do know
that this is about you. It's whatever you want it to be. Don't conform to what everybody else
wants. Be 110 percent you (cliche I know).
....more next week.
This link up is found over on Stuff I Love. A really fab lady named Cat is who lives
over there.
1. How did you come up with the name of your blog?
Honestly, I have no idea. I used to say "and stuff" at the end of everything
and I didn't think that was enough for a blog title. However, it may get a change, because
I'm not sure if I like it or not.
2. What inspires your posts the most?
My brain really. And getting some more readers. Those two really inspire me.
Yeah, people say that readers don't matter, but who wants to write
a public blog that people aren't reading? And the rest of the
time I'm writing what I feel.
3. What is the greatest challenge you face when blogging?
Oh my, since I'm so new at this, there really are alot. Keeping up with posting and reading
other blogs are a huge challenge right now. I don't want to post too little and lose my readers.
Also, the design of my blog is still a template from blogger and I've been trying to decide if I should
pay somebody to spruce it up.
4. Besides blogging, what activities occupy your time?
Well, up until 2 weeks ago I've had a fulltime juob for 2 years and a part-time job for 2 years.
I worked at the same place for 4 years. I am currently in between jobs and I hate it.
I'm about to start my 4th year of college in the fall. I should be a senior, but I'm not. This is because
I have a 4 year-old. So mothering, school, and a job used to occupy my time.
If I do get actual free time there are a few things I'll do.
- sleep ;)
-i love to read
- shop
- catch up on bad tv
-have girls' nights
5. What got you into blogging in the first place?
School did. It was an assignment for my online english class to start and post in it 2 times a week.
I ended up falling in love with it. And it's taken off since then.
6. Do you have any special projects on your blog? (linky parties, charities, events, weekly posts, etc).
Not that I have created, no. I do link ups and like to stick to them
every week. I would like to start a weekly post though. I may do that!
7. From where do you post?
Most of the time on a couch. At my boyfriend's house. In Missouri. Joplin Metropolitan area.
8. Do you have any blogging words of wisdom to share?
Since I still consider myself a newbie, not really. However, I do know
that this is about you. It's whatever you want it to be. Don't conform to what everybody else
wants. Be 110 percent you (cliche I know).
....more next week.
RANT
I haven't ranted in a long time but I'm about to. If it offends you, sorry. I can almost promise that I'm not talking about you. I don't know whether or not to link it up to Friday's Letters or not yet.
*update*
I have decided to because I looked back at it and thought it was hilarious.
Dear Pregnant people,
We know you're pregnant. You tell us everyday on all types of social media. Please just give it up for a minute.Tell us how the rest of your damn life is. I love the weekly updates about things that I've seen on blogs but my fb newsfeed is blowing up and I'm getting pissed! Oh, and what the hell is with making your child be born when you want them to be. Shit, a "due date" is an estimation, unless you happen to know the exact day you conceived. When the baby comes the baby comes. Slow your roll. You'll miss it. I know there are exceptions and I completely understand that. But it seems here recently that everybody is in a damn hurry. If you don't like being pregnant and you don't have complications, then don't spread your damn legs.
Dear blank,
I can't believe you did what you did. I'm embarrassed now. Ugh. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery right??
Dear Pizza Hut,
Hahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. I know I shouldn't laugh at your misfortune, but I heard stories of how your doing today and I don't feel bad one bit. I was promised that we would get more staff and you didn't keep that promise. Now you have shitty staff, a shitty store, and customers who refuse to come back. Who's fault is that one? You treat your employees like shit and then you get shit.
Dear Advisor,
I really hate the class you put me in for the summer. You didn't even ask me about it, you just did it. That's irritating. I know I needed a class this summer, but you could have asked my oppinion. Oh, and I didn't even need it either. That's irritating. Blah.
Dear karma,
I'm sure you're gonna bite me in the ass for this post. If you wouldn't that would be great. I already can't find a damn job and I think that's enough karma for now.
Dear Boyfriend,
You're pissing me off lately. Please quit it. I know that you're doing it on purpose and you think it's funny but it's not.
Dear body,
Why ya gotta be so gross? I hate how much weight I've gained and I know I need to fix it myself but shit....could you make me feel hot like ever?
Dear fb friends,
Why are some of you so fake? I'm not even getting into details.
Dear blog,
You're a full time job and I really need you to slow down. I guess I didn't realize what I was getting myself into. I'm gonna have to start planning and scheduling a couple posts a month because I can't be on here everyday. That makes me sad =( And I know that you won't slow down and I'm really actually glad you can't in the bottom of my heart. I love how I'm finally getting some readers and some page views! Woot Woot!
Dear different blank,
Ha! When I say no and I tell you that I'm right, just know that I know what I'm talking about. If I went into more detail people would read all of my drama and I don't need that right now. When I get the balls to talk about it I will. Actually, I have them now, but I don't want you to find out about this and use it against me. Effff off.
Dear loyal readers,
I love your faces! Thanks for letting me rant. It felt good. Hope you don't mind...but it is my blog so I can do what I feel needs to be done. Anddddd.....I'm almost to 1,000 blog views. I know that there are only 19 of you (some of which don't blog anymore) so really less than that but should I do a give away?? When I reach 1,000 views?? Any insights??
Here's to bitchiness....where would we be without it....and
*update*
I have decided to because I looked back at it and thought it was hilarious.
We know you're pregnant. You tell us everyday on all types of social media. Please just give it up for a minute.Tell us how the rest of your damn life is. I love the weekly updates about things that I've seen on blogs but my fb newsfeed is blowing up and I'm getting pissed! Oh, and what the hell is with making your child be born when you want them to be. Shit, a "due date" is an estimation, unless you happen to know the exact day you conceived. When the baby comes the baby comes. Slow your roll. You'll miss it. I know there are exceptions and I completely understand that. But it seems here recently that everybody is in a damn hurry. If you don't like being pregnant and you don't have complications, then don't spread your damn legs.
Dear blank,
I can't believe you did what you did. I'm embarrassed now. Ugh. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery right??
Dear Pizza Hut,
Hahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. I know I shouldn't laugh at your misfortune, but I heard stories of how your doing today and I don't feel bad one bit. I was promised that we would get more staff and you didn't keep that promise. Now you have shitty staff, a shitty store, and customers who refuse to come back. Who's fault is that one? You treat your employees like shit and then you get shit.
Dear Advisor,
I really hate the class you put me in for the summer. You didn't even ask me about it, you just did it. That's irritating. I know I needed a class this summer, but you could have asked my oppinion. Oh, and I didn't even need it either. That's irritating. Blah.
Dear karma,
I'm sure you're gonna bite me in the ass for this post. If you wouldn't that would be great. I already can't find a damn job and I think that's enough karma for now.
Dear Boyfriend,
You're pissing me off lately. Please quit it. I know that you're doing it on purpose and you think it's funny but it's not.
Dear body,
Why ya gotta be so gross? I hate how much weight I've gained and I know I need to fix it myself but shit....could you make me feel hot like ever?
Dear fb friends,
Why are some of you so fake? I'm not even getting into details.
Dear blog,
You're a full time job and I really need you to slow down. I guess I didn't realize what I was getting myself into. I'm gonna have to start planning and scheduling a couple posts a month because I can't be on here everyday. That makes me sad =( And I know that you won't slow down and I'm really actually glad you can't in the bottom of my heart. I love how I'm finally getting some readers and some page views! Woot Woot!
Dear different blank,
Ha! When I say no and I tell you that I'm right, just know that I know what I'm talking about. If I went into more detail people would read all of my drama and I don't need that right now. When I get the balls to talk about it I will. Actually, I have them now, but I don't want you to find out about this and use it against me. Effff off.
Dear loyal readers,
I love your faces! Thanks for letting me rant. It felt good. Hope you don't mind...but it is my blog so I can do what I feel needs to be done. Anddddd.....I'm almost to 1,000 blog views. I know that there are only 19 of you (some of which don't blog anymore) so really less than that but should I do a give away?? When I reach 1,000 views?? Any insights??
Here's to bitchiness....where would we be without it....and
All That Good Stuff!
Saturday, June 23, 2012
A Review and Sweet Ass Link Up
Oh my that's a long title!
Last night I went to the drive-in here in town with my momma and the kiddo. *sidenote* that probably won't happen again this year. That's a story for another time. Anyway, we saw Madagascar 3 and Snow White and the Huntsmen.
They were both good.
I'm gonna talk about Snow White though.
This movie was really good and I honestly wasn't expecting it to be.
I'm not a fan of Kristin Stewart and I think that she has no talent.
Yes, that means I don't like Twilight. Sorry to hurt your heart.
There was some good, and there was some bad. But the good definitely outweighed the bad.
I'll start with the cons.
- Kristen Stewart lol
- It seemed to pull from a lot of other movies. I saw some Robin Hood,
Harry Potter, and Lord of the Rings it seemed.
- The fairies looked like Gollum. I love fairies and these things
were fucking creepers. I was a bit disappointed.
See what I mean?
Pros
- The scenery was awesome. They had a beautiful set or wherever they filmed was amazing.
- Story wasn't too fairytale-ish.
Now, I love me some fairytales but damn they can get annoying.
- Hot man ass
He can hunt me and then fall in love with me too!
-Charlize Theron's acting
It was a good movie. Like I said, it wasn't very fairytale at all. Well, the story was but not the setting.
All in all I give it a B+.
Now, on to this sweet ass link up. I was just browsing through blog land when I landed on Shane's blog
Whispering Sweet Nothings. She's doing this really cool link up called Bloggers Coast to Coast.
You tell her where your from and she has a map of the US with blue pins from every blog.
It's a great way to find bloggers close to you!
Friday, June 22, 2012
Whooo!
Hey y'all...remember that Book Swap that I joined a little bit ago? It was hosted by Miss Angie over at My So Called Chaos and Beth at Living A Goddess Life. I think that they had the best idea ever! I love books so I was excited.
And kids, after what seemed like an eternity - it was only 3 days- my books came!!!
My partner was Miss Angie from My So Called Chaos.
And she did wonderful! Here's a pic of my haul.
1. Ophelia
2. Water for Elephants
3. The Four Agreements
A Book She Loves
And she did wonderful! Here's a pic of my haul.
2. Water for Elephants
3. The Four Agreements
A Book She Loves
Miss Angie loves this book and I bet that it's good. Just reading what it was about was exciting!
A Book I Want!
I was so excited that she sent this. I was really hoping for this one. This girl can read my mind. I'm
half-way through it too. lol. =)
A Book She Hadn't Read
I'm actually pretty sure this was on some wishlist too. =)
All in all....she did wonderful! I'm so happy with what I received and I can't wait to
do this again. Hopefully that happens!
And finally...I got a pretty sweet partner. It's like she could read my mind.
And I'm glad to have a new blogger friend too.
p.s. I know we were supposed to put the code on here for the book swap and I tried.
However, everytime I tried it was a button for Miss Angie's page. So...Idk..Sorry!!
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
How Pinteresting Wednesday
Ummmm....hello???
Is anybody there?
I haven't heard from anybody in awhile. Feeling kinda weird about it. I do comment back almost always and I want to meet more bloggers and make friends! I love hearing from you guys, so if you stop by, please say hi. I'm new to this world and I need some friends please lol. Think of it as being a mentor. ;).
Anyway...let's get on with today's festivities shall we?
Yep, time for some of my most favorite pins! I'm linking up with Michelle over at The Vintage Apple. I looovvvvee pinterest. I could do this all day.
Enjoy kids
Oh...sorry...I've been pinning because I haven't been on here in like 3 hours! Unless I'm sleeping, I constantly check it.
That's all for today kids. Hop on over to Pinterest and follow me. I promise it's a good time for all!
Is anybody there?
I haven't heard from anybody in awhile. Feeling kinda weird about it. I do comment back almost always and I want to meet more bloggers and make friends! I love hearing from you guys, so if you stop by, please say hi. I'm new to this world and I need some friends please lol. Think of it as being a mentor. ;).
Anyway...let's get on with today's festivities shall we?
Yep, time for some of my most favorite pins! I'm linking up with Michelle over at The Vintage Apple. I looovvvvee pinterest. I could do this all day.
Enjoy kids
Oh...sorry...I've been pinning because I haven't been on here in like 3 hours! Unless I'm sleeping, I constantly check it.
I feel this way about two people in my life so it has double special meaning ;)
I picked this our from polyvore all by muhself! Yeah me. lol. I love it! Just need different
jeans. Those are weird yo.
Ugh these are gorgeous. My country side has been dying to come out
lately. I'm glad it has too. I think sometime I need to go to a country concert.
Like stat! I keep thinking visiting Nashville or Texas.
But then there's this huge girly side of me! If it is glittery/glittered I
normally want it. Sparkly and shiny also
appy. Oh, and pink!
Amen.
I need to read this all day every day right now. Being in
between jobs might be the death of me.
It consumes all day.
That is one of my most favorite words. I love it.
It goes beyond spirituality for me.
One can believe in so many things..
This guy could be why I'm so into country again. Shittt...
hell yes I do.
I love planning a pretend wedding. lol. I love this again because of the
country...again. But I also love girlie traditional weddings.
Love this. It's all magical fairy tale...
What can I say I'm a true romantic at heart
I love what this says. It makes women seem
so simple.
And I don't care. Hahaha. I care...at least a little bit
That's all for today kids. Hop on over to Pinterest and follow me. I promise it's a good time for all!
and ...All That Good Stuff!
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Team iPhone
Ok, so I know I've told you before that I'm totally team iPhone. And I have been for three years. I love the damn thing. Even when Siri is being a total b. It just suits me and it's so simple. One thing that bugs me the most is that I think it's kind of childish looking. Apps look like they are made for kids sometimes. Other than that...I love the damn thing.
So I figured I would join Many Little Blessings for Top Ten Tuesday! I'm gonna tell you the 10 apps I couldn't live without right now!
-Pinterest
- Facebook
- Instagram
So I figured I would join Many Little Blessings for Top Ten Tuesday! I'm gonna tell you the 10 apps I couldn't live without right now!
- Newsify
this is the app that I use to access my google reader. I love it! And it's free. I like it so much that
I would gladly have bought it. But they're so awesome they let us have it for nothing.
you can find me here. I would be lying if i said I wasn't addicted. for sure!
I'm naturally a nosy curious person. And this app is just the sugar on top!
- Scramble With Friends
I just got hooked on this game. I don't even really care
that I'm playing another person. I just wanna see how many words
I can get. lol.
It's just so damn fun. lol. It's like fb but fun cool pictures. Definitely better pics
than most on facebook.
- Us Bank
What can I say? I like to know what exactly is going on with my money.
I don't have a job right now and I have to make sure
I stay on my budget.
-Gmail
I have to keep up on all my comments! Hahaha. Kidding. Seriously.
Haven't been very many these days....
I know I shouldn't whine...but stop by and say hey.
I find some of my favorite blogs that way!
And I like to see what people have to say to my comments too. =)
- FML
Reading about how somebody else's life actually sucks more than mine
makes me feel a million times better
on those bad day.
-Some E-cards
A girl's gotta laugh. And I can all day with this!
-Craigslist
I've been religiously checking for jobs everyday multiple times a day.
And the missed connections crack me up!
Play on playa'.
Maybe this gave you some insight into my crazy mind. lol. I doubt it though.
But for now, these are my obsessions.
What apps do you obbess over right now?
ps. Did you notice any of my changes? I know they aren't huge, but it's a start!
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