Inappropriateness

I couldn't not tell you about my weekend because for once I did something, so I'm linking up a day late. And also because my life seems to always be habitually late.  In case you missed it, my dad wrote a guest post for me yesterday! Check it out because its pretty on point. You may not like the title but his post has truth. 

This weekend was nice for me I worked a double Friday and then off Saturday. I hadn't had any peace and quiet since before Christmas Eve so I took Saturday off. I originally had plans to be a somewhat efficient human being and get some stuff done but it didn't work out. I sat on the couch in my jammies with my dog on my lap.

Gah I couldn't fix her crazy eyes.

After a long cuddle session, Wife and I went to the local deli and had lunch. We also got the side eye from some crazy bitches the whole time we were there. Apparently, by walking in to the deli we committed the ultimate sin. I don't know what the hell there problem was. Except we were cuter, younger, and a lot more fun. haha. We had enough of side eye so we went to Starbucks to use our gift cards. I got her and myself one for Christmas. Mine was just so I could get a gold card =) I'm becoming a Starbucks junkie and it's all the blog world's fault! 

Then I came home for a nap. Because I had the worst headache of my entire life. Blah. So I took what was supposed to be a 30 minute nap that turned into a 2 hour nap. See, I was expecting my mom to come home but she was late because she went to the store. Of course. When I woke up boyfriend wanted to know if we were going to go eat at Tokyo Japanese Steakhouse. I was still frazzled and in my jammies. But I said sure. Our friends were all going because Saturday was Chelsey's birthday. She turned 23 with the angels. So I got dressed, and hightailed it to eat. 

My crazy hair

                                   

Boyfriend's idea of a good picture. Can't you just see the uncomfortableness in my face?? 

Let me tell you a quick story, there were 13 of us who went to eat, but everybody that has been to a hibachi grill knows that there are more seats than that. This table just so happened to have a family of 5 at it. A mom, dad, two daughters, and one of their boyfriends. And they were all stiff and uppity. And boyfriend kept talking about shit that was so inappropriate in front of this family. Cue dagger eyes from mama bear over there. And uncomfortableness in this picture. 

A better one but not great. 

After our Hibachi dinner, where the waiter made sure to embarass a few of us (haha, they deserved it) we took ourselves over to the bowling alley for some pitchers rock and bowl. What's rock and bowl you say? It's where they play really loud music, turn on black lights and other crazy lights and you bowl. Woooo! I don't bowl though. I have this problem with not wanting to embarrass myself in front of people. But I drank! Nasty ass Miller and Coors light. But beer is beer is beer. A great time was had by everybody.

Under a black light you can see highlighters better. 

Wife and I. Hahaha I don't know what she was doing. 

Some of us girls. I learned to not have a boy take our picture because most of these look funny.

See, his idea of pictures. Lovely isn't it.

I wish this looked way better. What is a guy's problem with a camera? lol. 

And that was my weekend!

Your New Year's Resolutions Are Doomed To Fail

Writing the first sentence of a blog is always hard. ALWAYS. So is the damn title. And yeah, the title of this is negative, but it made you want to read didn't it?? 

I have a special guest blogger today...my dad!

He needs more pictures of himself. Gahhhh!

 I know...guest blogging, it makes you want to quit reading right here. But with that title how could you not keep reading?? It's long...just a forewarning. My dad is an amazing writer though (maybe I'm biased) so it's worth reading...just keep going. 

Here it is....

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A long- time customer of mine owns a gym. Every January 2 the gym is totally overrun by people who have been pretending they want to get in shape all year and have suddenly decided that it’s time to get started because the date changed. They tie up all the equipment, take up all the space,and monopolize the employees.

His regulars call the new comers ‘resolutionistas’. The regulars tolerate them because they know what happens- over the course of the month fewer and fewer of the new-comers appear. By President’s Day they have all faded away, and its back to the same old same crew again. Every year. Like clockwork.

The owner LOVES the resolutinistas. They allow him to overbook the gym during January, and they continue to pay their monthly fees long after they quit showing up. They’re the perfect customer. And then in April or May, when their significant other says “I thought you were going to get in shape this year,” they feel a little shame, and mumble something about how they are really going to do it next January. That’s the New Year’s Resolution Two Step- failing at whatever the resolution was, and then feeling shitty about the failure.

I probably sound like a bit of a prick, talking shit about people who are just trying to improve themselves. I’m not. It’s the process I hate- I hate New Year’s Resolutions. If someone were to track the nationwide resolution failure rate it would probably be 99.9995%. And each failure leads to someone walking around feeling like a shitbag, thinking “I’m never going to (lose weight/ quit smoking/ get in shape/ learn French).

There’s a better way. And there’s still time to get started.

January is a bad month to start anything new. We just finished a month long frenzy of calories and consumption- it’s doubtful there was much time spent in December on self-reflection, a requirement for changing habitual behavior or undertaking something new.

So that’s what January is for. I spend January thinking about one or two things I want to change or a new subject I want to learn about. And the number is important- if it is more than one or two things, you are guaranteeing failure. People who start the New Year with a laundry list of ten things they want to change about themselves shouldn’t even bother trying. Changing ingrained habits is incredibly hard; you are messing with the hard-wiring of your brain. And if you are trying to rid yourself of an addiction, whether it be heroin or hot dogs you are going to undergo a lot of pain. Trying to do that a learn the banjo at the same time is an exercise in futility.

Once you know what you want to do, refine it. Saying “I want to lose weight” or “I want learn to cook” is just dreaming. A goal has to have specificity- I am going to lose 25 pounds, I am going to reduce my body fat by 10%, I am going to learn to play jazz flute at a Jr. High level. You also need a deadline. If you are determined to lose forty pounds, great. But remember- it is going to be very hard. Without a deadline to give your goal a sense of urgency and a finish line you’ll never get there. “I am going to get a $200 a week raise by September 1, I am going to lose 15 pounds before bathing suit season, I am going to be able to bench 300 pounds by my twenty-fifth birthday.

Now we’re at the end of January. You have one or two goals, they are specific, and you know what the deadline is. Use the month of February to slowly establish the behaviors and habits that are going to get you to your goal by your deadline. Remember, you want your brain on your side in this. If you have been eating 2500 calories a day for the last 20 years and suddenly you drop down to 1200 calories all at once, your brain is going to panic. (This is why fad diets don’t work. Your brain senses the sudden large drop in caloric intake or elimination of essential nutrients and sends urgent ‘gorge yourself or die’ signals to all of your nerve endings. Will power is no match for three billion years of evolution. Smaller portions, less sugar and more exercise don’t cause your brain distress.)  Likewise, if you have being feeding your brain's receptors nicotine twenty times a day for ten years and suddenly stop they are going to react by withholding the release of chemicals that make you feel happy, healthy and wise. Rapid changes are jarring. If you make slow, daily changes you’ll get used to it and the change will be less painful

By the first part of March you have had enough time to begin your new behavior without alarming your body and brain. It’s all downhill from here, right? Wrong. Changing habitual behavior or learning new tricks beyond the age of twelve is haaard. It is going to hurt. There will be times you want to cry. There may be times you will cry. If you fully understand the price of your goal and find yourself waffling, it’s best not to pursue it, because you are probably not going to make it. It’s best to know early if it turns out you’re not willing to pay the price.

But if you are, here’s a path you can follow that gives you the best chance of making the finish line.

A quick note about Chloe’s Dad- I live out in the wilds of Northeast Oklahoma with my wife Brandy, our dog Baylee, and four cats. I’m blessed with the visits of three daughters and two granddaughters. I work for a company that help’s locally-owned businesses manage their electronic payments. This month I am starting a new business, B&B Midwest that will continue to provide that service, plus several others. You can read my business thoughts at my blog, SEKcreditcardguy.blogspot.com.

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There ya have it cupcakes, my first guest post, from my awesome dad! Yeah, it may have sounded negative at first, but the man has a point. And I haven't started any of my resolutions. How about you? I mean there are a couple I've done - but for the most part this hits the hammer on the head. (That's a saying right?) So I'm taking the rest of January to gather my thoughts, write it down, and make a plan. And if you haven't really started either....well now you know that it's never too late! 

I Just Wanna Bitch and Moan

True story.

Remember how my word of the year is positivity?? Well it is. And this first week, I've done pretty good. Until today.

I just wanna complain and be grumpy. So I am. Sue me. One day a week isn't terrible. Boyfriend has even commented on how much more positive I've been. That's a good sign cupcakes.

But today...today has just irritated me.

- I woke up and looked up my work schedule online...I only get one day off. Yes, I know that this means I make more money but dammit everybody else got two days off. Sigh. And yes, if everybody else jumped off a bridge I'd do it to MOM!

- There isn't any regular grape jelly in boyfriend's fridge. Just some with "less sugar". That shit didn't have a taste and my toast sucked.

- Work was just busy enough to get annoying. We weren't busy, just steady. I hate steady. We get off the wait and then 5 minutes later 8 parties walk in and we're back on the wait. It makes for a slow day. I want balls to the wall slammed or nothing.

- We're getting ready to take some entrees off our menu at work so I bought myself dinner before my new favorite is gone. Sat down to eat it when a server sat down with me and chewed her food like a cow on cud. I really don't want to see what's in your mouth but even more, I don't wanna hear it! That shit is gross. So irritating. So I boxed up my food and left.

- My keys got bent and I can't in boyfriend's house without him now. Can they make copies of bent keys??

- It's cold! My hands have been freezing all day. ALL DAY.

- Boyfriend is currently crinkling his chip bag like a child plays with a rattle. Ugh I hate noises.

- The fucking internet is being super slow. I load a page about every 10 minutes.

Alright, I guess I'm done whining and being a negative nancy but damn it felt good.


Oh yeah, I finally got my phone! Life is good. Here's a picture of my old one.

Pretty nifty huh! 

Alright, I'm done now. See you tomorrow cupcakes. It's my one day off, let's make it good!

Word

So I've seen this around the bloggy world and at first I thought "That's neat, but not for me." But the more I saw it, the more I wanted to be a part of it. What can I say - I love bandwagons!

I'm picking a word for the year. At first I was like whatever, resolutions will be fine, but I don't think they will. And then I had to pick a word. Gawwww. Do you know how many words are in our dictionary? Too many to count. It was a toss between simplicity and positivity. Which, Chrome keeps telling me isn't a word, but it is now. I'm adding a word to the dictionary so there's one more to count.

I chose positivity. The other night (NYE to be exact) boyfriend and I were in his truck going to dinner and he was ragging on me for me so negative about everything. It pissed me off but the more I thought about it, he was wrong right.

I can be a very negative person. I hate to admit it. And now it's time to change that. And I think I've been doing a pretty good job so far. Yeah, it's only 3 days into the year but hey! Yesterday I had a break down and wanted to be negative but I made myself get on fb and post something positive. Because I hel myself accountable. I can seethe and seethe in my mind, but outwardly, I will be more positive. And eventually my mind will become more positive. BOOM!

Here it goes. Hopefully I don't lose being funny with out negativity. Of course some will still be there!

Let Me Tell You A Story

Yep, I'm gonna tell you guys a fun little story. One that tells why I'm tired of facebook, even though I won't delete mine.

It all started on what was technically New Year's Day. Boyfriend and I left our party t 12:30 because we're lame and old awesome like that. We get home and I grab my laptop play on fb or awhile and go to bed. See, while I'm on fb I'm editing my "about me" ya know...because I don't work at Pizza Hut anymore and I just think people care I should make it known that I'm now at Olive Garden. So I did that, whatever. And I decided to list my wife as family as my wife. I put my laptop down and go to bed.

ZZZZZZzzzzzzz....I slept good too.

I come home New Year's Day morning and walk in the door and of course tell my momma Happy New Year. That's when shit got crazy. She looked at me said Happy New Year and Congratulations. I give her a wtf look and say what. She repeats "Congratulations!" I said..."for making it to 2013? Thanks, I didn't think I could do it either but here we are." That woman looks me straight in the eye and says no...you got engaged!!! I got WHAT???? According to fb somehow boyfriend and I had now gotten engaged. Not once did I ever change our relationship status. I didn't even touch it. Now isn't that odd??

I started off the New Year explaining to people that no, we aren't engaged fb just has a mind of it's own. People were already congratulating me and I'm just in shock...Had to fix that immediately.

And besides...fb won't be the first people I tell...it will be you guys of course!

*mustaches added to protect last names*

That's my funny story for the year. Yeppers.

Have you guys noticed my wonderful new page! I simply adore it. Whitney from WhitSpeaks did it and she did an awesome job. She got me down to a t! It was such a simple process and she was so sweet. I didn't even know what I wanted but she got the job done. I still need to send her a pic and a blurb for my about me on the home page but I suck at writing those. Anybody wanna do it for me? I'll let you! There will be more pages to come such as an about me and sponsor page maybe??? We'll see! But definitely an about me.

Have a great Thursday cupcakes! And be sure to check out Whitney if you're looking for a new design!

January Goals

I don't know about you guys but I'm tired of goals, presents, and "best of" recaps. I love you all dearly but my head hurts from i
t all. Boo me I know.

And second...I have the least amount of money in my checking acount that I've had in 3 years. I'm dying. And it really isn't alot. Like 2 digits. I have no hope anymore. None. Thank goodness school starts soon which means I will be able to ya know...get some $$ back from my grants and shit. And income taxes soon. I wanna cry. And all my bills are due at the beginning of the month. Plus some other unexpected money I had to spend. Bye bye restaurant food. Hello kitchen and grandma's house. I hate talking about money but I'm really freaking out. Real bad.

Anyway...let's do some goals for January.

I'm not going to recap December because that year is over. Yep, I'm leaving 2012 in the dust. Wasn't my favorite.

January Goals

- save some money

- start exercising. At least twice a week. super pumped!

- start car shopping. 

- keep up on school work.

That's it. I don't have anything else I need to do this month. Nope. Nope.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year Cupcakes. I went to a party with friends and rang it in the right way! Hope you all had a wonderful New Year celebration. =)

And now for some firsts of 2013 

First Kiss - Boyfriend

First Drink - Budlight

First TV Show - Friends 

First Food - Enchiladas 

Important things right there kids. Yes sir.

So bad. Just wanted faces 

I wore a shirt underneath it to the party but look at that side boob!

Happy New Year. 

See you guys later!