I'm Soaking It In Kerosene

I've got nothing.


It's Friday though! Tomorrow I'll be chilling with my girl Miranda Lambert. Ok, maybe not chilling in the exact sense, but I get to see her!

I've been trying to figure out what to wear and I've decided that I'm totally gonna recycle my Kenny outfit. Sue me. I think it was hot and I love it! It also channels this Miranda Lambert. I love her still but I miss this girl. The ripped jeans and the tank top. Style evolves though so I get it!

I'm linking up with Fabulous Yoga Pants of course.



Teagan comes home today. That's exciting.

It's been a quiet week without her. But I've gotten somethings accomplished.


This post sucks. My bad.

Happy Friday Cupcakes. Have a good weekend. Drink a few. I know I will.

What I'm Thinking...

I've officially been a big girl and served by myself for a week now. Go me. I guess. lol. The whole time I'm serving I have a steady stream of thoughts running rhough my mind. And I thought I would share those with you today. Boom!

" Let's make money!!!"

"I don't want too many tables, I still want to be able to do well."


"Dammit, Danielle (my favorite hostess with the mostess), why did you seat me again?!?!"


"SMILE, bitch."


"Oh great, they want soup and salad. Woohoo let's run our asses off for hardly any tip."


" Why is the damn soup empty. *Yells to the kitchen* We NEED zupa!"


5 minutes later "What the fuck. This lady needs her soup. Why are you being so fucking slow, are you personally making the sausage for the soup today?"


"Finally got my soup. Wooo. Don't slosh it all over the bowl. Be careful. Walk slow."


"I don't want to be on a party. I've been doing this for 4 days. Dammit Karla." (the wonderful hostess with the mostess that trained me. She's great.)


"Breathe, don't let those tears fall out of your eyes. Get your shit together right now."

"This table makes me uncomfortable. I know what I'm doing. Fuck, maybe I don't"


"I totally have this."


"I'm on short side, weird."


"Everything is backwards over here. AHHHHH"


"Great, this lady complained her salad was too small. It was proportioned out right!"


"Mango tea...we don't have that. EWWWW we're putting thick ass mango syrup in it. Yuck"


"Now she doesn't like her food. I can handle this."


"Great, teenagers. Thanks for the $3 tip on the $65 dollar ticket. I hope your mom and dad make you work in a restaurant. Brats"


"Complaining lady and her man friend love me. Sweet!"


"Oh yay, a lady and her two year old who want soup and salad for dinner...I'll be nice and not charge her for her two year old who won't even take more than 2 bites of anything."


"Thanks for the $2 tip lady with the two year old. Glad that you were gracious enough for two whole dollars. Next time I won't do you any favors."


"Is it time to go home yet?"


"NO, I don't want to be on your damn party. I was off for three days and I'm rusty. Fuck."


"Ohhhh they complimented me to the manager and left me a nice tip. Thank you weird mango tea lady!"


"When am I gonna be phased?"


"Gawww...who needs to exercise when they can be a server. My fucking body hurts. My bra is soaking wet from the sweat. I hate boob sweat."


"I need a shower. I feel like I'm in a wet t-shirt contest."


"Is it time to go, is the back door open for a break?"


"Ahhh I got my phase slip and the door is open, break time!"

"Now I need to clean my section, oh look, they're sitting another server here! Score, I don't have to clean today."


"Count my monies...not the best day. Oh well."


"Peace out OG!"

You Might Be an Alcoholic If...

By now we all know of Venus's Irvester Award. And I think we're all pretty damn proud of it. I was hoping somebody would nominate me and I finally got my wish! Kelley over at One Hot Southern Mess nominated me for this wonderful award!

such a pretty little button

And for the rules

1. Acknowledge who nominated you. Thanks Kelley!!!2. Answer the 10 questions below 3. Nominate 10 bloggers you think are excellent drinkers4. Do not change the questions.5. Don't nominate the blog that nominated you. That's it.

What is your favorite drinking game and why? 

Beer pong...the "original" drinking game. I know it's not really but whatever. I suck at beer pong but I still get a little kick out of playing. There was the one time that Rockstar by Nickelback was playing and I didn't miss one shot until somebody turned the song off. 

It is your birthday, what is your idea of the perfect evening?
I want to start day drinking as soon as we wake up and lounge by a pool it's February so none of that. We just chill and hang out until dinner where we have a nice dinner followed by an awesome house party or bonfire. 

Money is no object, what is your go to drink of choice at a bar?
Long island ice teas, margaritas, beer, or just shots of patron. I'm not too picky obviously. Gotta throw a Redbull in there some where because I loooove them!

Take this alcohol screening quiz here, what score did you receive?
Your score is 35%. According to the Office of Health Care Programs, Johns Hopkins University Hospital, developers of this screening quiz, if you answered 3 of these questions with a Yes it is a definite sign that your drinking patterns are harmful and possibly considered alcohol dependent or alcoholic. You may want to seek an evaluation by a healthcare professional.

What is your favorite memory with alcohol?
Oh boy. There's so many to choose from. Kenny Chesney, my 20th birthday, my 21rst birthday. The night Blake and I made it "official". I can't choose just one.


What is your favorite song about drinking? Or song to drink to?
Anything by Eric Church. He has good drinking songs. Or Kenny. Or rap. lol. I'm not a picky music person.

What is your favorite activity to do while drinking (i.e. boating, bowling, golf, trivia, etc.)
Dancing, card games, or just hanging out. I would say swimming but every time I've tried that I've almost drown. It's not a good idea.


In your opinion, which is the number one party school in the country and why?
I don't have an opinion. I don't know anything about schools except they're almost all better because they allow drinking at football games. Not mine. Nope. Let's take a way a college kid's right to drink. Womp womp.
When do you know you have had too much to drink? What are your signals?
My left eye starts to get lazy. I repeat myself a lot. I start to take a lot more pictures. And I basically don't give a damn what mean people think. And I cry. 

hello lazy left eye. Nice to see you. My hair looks black..it's never been black.

drunk laughing selfie. The best.

So I have to pick 10 fabulous ladies...a lot of the ones I would pick have already been chosen so forgive me if there aren't 10

Jordan

Amanda

Katie

Alissa

Meg

Adrianna

Steph

I'm a rebel...that's all I've got. 

Read about My Weekend If You're Not Tired of Weekends Yet

What a weekend.

I took no pictures though. Sorry. Well, I did but they're of the sky, and they're on my instagram so you should go look at them. Now. I'll wait....


Ok, I see you're back now. Hope you enjoyed them. I was half tempted to talk about them so that you'd have to go look. But I won't. Just go look if you haven't yet. My weekend was low key. Just how I like it. Friday night I worked as a server for the first time on a Friday. That shit was crazy! I only teared up like twice. But I told myself to get it together or go home. I got it together. Which is a damn good thing because I ended up with a nice chunk of change for the day.

Saturday I got up early to go home and shower and do laundry.But the only thing I did was lay around and watch the CMT awards with my momma. Then Blake text me earlier than I thought he would and we went puppy shopping! I wanted them all. It didn't matter if they were boys, girls, disfigured; I wanted them all. We went to two humane societies and Petsmart. If I'm being honest, he was being a little picky. I know that's his right but a puppy is a puppy. At least to me. We finally found one we wanted and it turned out that she had kennel cough. We couldn't bring her home =( We couldn't risk his other dogs, the two cats, and my dog getting it. And they won't hold her for us. Sigh. Hopefully she's still there in 10 days when she's done with her meds. Fun fact, it's harder for black animals to be adopted from humane societies than any other color. And she's black, and sick, and isn't fixed. There is hope!

We came home, he mowed. I sat on the porch swing and played on my phone. Typical girlfriend duties. Then we spread lime all through the yard. Well, he spread it. I watered the ground so it would take. It was fun but I'm easily entertained. Who mows and then has somebody water the ground? Yeah, beats me.

We finished Saturday night off with his best friend and his fiance. We went over to there place and played some Presidents and Assholes. I highly recommend this drinking game. More about it tomorrow!

Sunday Funday wasn't the funnest! I actually slept in for once. Shocker. It was time to go home and start to clean Teagan's room. It's not as easy as it sounds. I got overwhelmed in an hour and threw in the towel for the time being. I still have more to do. My gma bought her all new furniture and I had to go pick it up and bring it home. So off Blake and I go to the Import Warehouse to get it. And then to my house to put it up. That shit was fucking heavy. I've never moved before, so moving furniture was quite an adventure for me. It's still in the boxes but at least it's in her room!

That's all I've got. Sorry for no pictures. I know, pretty boring. Hope you have a great week cupcakes. Sorry for the weekend review, if nobody reads it I understand. I can't stand when I do them either.

This is Fucking Awesome!

I just watched last weeks America's Got Talent and at the very end was Tone the Cheif Rocca. And all he wants is to be a one hit wonder. And he got it! Tell me that this isn't one of the best one hit wonder songs ever!!



#SorryI'mNotSorry this is going to be stuck in your head all damn day. But I want you to feel happiness with me! 
B Double O T Y
I'm off to twerk... kidding... it's nap time.

Follow Me And Everything is Alright

I don't have much to say today.

Yesterday I got in a shitty mood and I went to bed early hoping to wake up in a better mood. I woke up to a huge thunderstorm. Not that bad of a deal. I left my driver's side window down. Bad deal.

So now, my shitty mood has returned and I don't really feel like blogging.

So today, all I ask is that you get on over to Bloglovin' and you follow me there. I know that I don't have 113 followers over there. Better get on it, we have less than a month left together thanks to Google Reader.

I don't want to lose some of my favorites.

Next up we have twitter. I know that there isn't a social icon button for it over there -----> but that's because I didn't use it when this design was made. I use it now. Go follow me. I'll wait.

Click Here

And finally, I have a fb page for this blog. I'm not really great at it but shit happens. If you wanna go like it, please do. Sorry if you hardly ever see anything on it. There's a button for that over there ----->

Have a better Wednesday than I'm having!

Why I Better Be Able to Waitress Where Ever I Want

Happy Monday cupcakes.

I had the longest weekend ever possible. Ever.

Server training was this weekend and jeeez am I ready for that shit to be over. I've had to take a beverage test, a menu test, a server test, a safety and sanitation test and everybody's favorite, an alcohol test. And not the cool kind that tells you whether or not you're an alcoholic. No, the kind that asks what to do when people are already intoxicated when they come to eat, or how many beers a shot is equal to. Tests, tests, and more fucking tests. I think I can tell you anything about the OG menu. ANYTHING. I almost cried myself to sleep last night trying to study for the beverage test. So many drinks to know. And of course, I could remember my personal favorites, beer and margaritas, but not a lot of other shit.

3 pages worth of notes front and back. And I wasn't even done. For one test.

I took my first table by myself yesterday. I did decent. I had three tables and after everything was said and done, bussers and bartenders were tipped out...I made a weasly 10 doll hairs. But it's better than nothing. I was so nervous on that first table. Instead of asking if they'd like cheese on their soup/salad I would say "would you like soup/salad on your soup/salad." I felt like an idiot. I've served before so why the nerves? WHY??? But the next table was much better! I even got them to take some samples of wine and they each had a glass too! So my alcohol sales are great. I would be great at serving booze. On a different note though, when somebody is offering a free sample of wine, why would you turn it down? I don't get it. Well, there are some reasons I get, but hello, please pour me all the free samples you'd like! And just so you know, you can get up to three free samples of wine at Olive Garden. Enough to get a good buzz going.

That's how I spent my weekend. Fun stuff, let me tell you. I'm not complaining though. Ok, a little. In the end it will be worth it. I hope.

I signed up for the Itty Bitty Beauty Swap over at Chaotic Goddess Swaps. I love make-up. Not that you would ever know because I hardly ever wear it, but a chance to get some more, I'm all up for that!

My swap partner was Courtney from Air Force Wife & Our Life. She sent me a pretty little package. Everything was wrapped in pink tissue paper...what could be better! 

First she sent me this neat little compact! It's one of the ones where you pick out your own colors to put in it. I didn't even know that e.l.f. made this and I think it's pretty cool! 

Obviously this isn't my picture but I told her I was in the market for a good nude lip color...and I love this one! It looks way more brown in the picture. It's perfect!

A regular and waterproof mascara duo. Schwing!

And this eyeliner pen. I'm kinda nervous to try it. I had a different one once and it was weird. It's literally like ink. I put my eyeliner on the rim of my eye and the one time I used the other one it got all in my eye. But, it didn't hurt Just scared the hell out of me and turned my eyeball black black for a little bit. 

So thank you Cortney. You did wonderful!!

And in other blogger news...this building right here is a Chipotle coming to yours truly! Yes, I've never been to Chipotle. How am I even a blogger? I don't know. But as soon as it opens I'll be in line and then I'll blog all about it. When I get fat, it's your fault.