I Learned Two Things

I actually had a post started for today but we got some family pictures over the weekend. I just wanted to share some and show you that yeah, maybe we like each other a little bit over here. But don't get too excited. I think my favorites are of Teagan. Of course.

I learned two things from this 

 - I have no jawline and I pretty much look like a cow. Woof.

 - Even if your dress seems long enough, you should probably test it out. In all the pictures of us sitting down my ass is almost hanging out. 

All photos courtesy of Big Grin Photography.

Summer's End

So the summer is winding down and coming to a close. I know to most of you, that sucks. I'm not entirely disappointed though. Summer just isn't my jam. Except for tanks. I love those.

I didn't talk about this a lot this year, just because. I talked about it last summer but not many of you were here then. During the summer Teagan alternates weeks with her dad and myself. I'm not gonna lie, a week of peace is often nice, but it gets old after awhile. The days just seem to be longer and I find myself to be bored and not have somebody to talk to.

At the start of the summer everything was fine. Teagan was pumped to go to her dad's and wanted to go all the time. As it's gone on though, it's gotten rough. This last time when they came to pick her up she cried. She didn't want to go at all. I felt terrible, but at the same time, I felt good. Finally they (her dad is married) knew how I felt when she was so happy to go with me. But what do I do when she's crying because she doesn't want to go? It's court mandated and I know that her dad wants to see her.

Now, if they were cordial and nice, I would have felt bad for them. But they aren't. I'm not gonna spill all the drama on here because it's just too much. But I feel that most of the time when it comes to them, I get the short end of the stick.

I guess I'm just trying to say that I'm glad that summer is coming to a close. I'm going to be around my baby kindergartner more. She's gonna be with me, where I feel she belongs. I won't ever take away her dad's time to see her, I'm not that terrible of a human - yet. But home is where the heart is, and my heart is with her.

As for kindergarten...holy shit how did we get here already? I'm a nervous wreck. It's not the same as head start where she went before. This is the beginning of the next 13-18 years of her life. And she's not a baby anymore. Wahh. But I'm excited too. I love school carnivals and elementary school parties. They're my favorite!

So bring on the fall...because I'm ready.

I Could Bum Around All Day

I told you guys sometime last week that I was a part of a pj party swap. I got some awesome goodies from Beth at Living a Goddess Life. She is amazing. I mean, she mean the girl makes most of her own food from scratch. I look at Taco Bell and think "Thank god for you or I'd be starving."

She sent me an awesome package. Everything she sent had a sticky note on it telling me how we would use them at our own sleepover. I think I hit the swap gold! Here's the goods.

She outdid herself but I love it all! There are a few things not pictured but Teagan has already ran off with them, but what can I do? And those pants? to DIE for. I have a pair like them and they are super super soft. I wanna buy Target out of them and just wear them every day. Don't judge. The shirt is super soft too! I already wore it and that's why it's all wrinkly and stuff. Judge away now.

Enjoy Life

I'm alive guys. I don't know if you noticed but I was absent yesterday. If you saw twitter, then you know why. If not, let me show ya.

I missed my stop to get off the struggle bus and now I've landed to still drunk in the morning ville.
— Chloe Ashworth (@CloverMarie214) August 6, 2013

And half of it doesn't even make sense so obviously I was still drunk. Yesterday sucked. Especially when I had to work. But it was good times and completely worth it. I got to hangout with my wife and we got trashed, like the light weights we are. I only consumed 3 longs islands, 2 bud light platinums, and a shot of patron.  But it worked it's magic.

We started off at Applebees because they have 2-for-1s and half price apps after 9. I even took my new friend Cooper, who I created at build-a-bear, and he enjoyed some long islands too. I took to instagram to prove it. I don't usually bring stuffed animals with me everywhere I go but I knew it would get laughs so I did. Or wtf looks and that worked too. And brought me laughs.

yes, he wears cowboy boots

I know we all just want to be skinny but I love food so much. So much. But I've decided that unless I'm eating my parmesan and shrimp sirloin from Applebees, I don't need to order food. We ordered too much and it was just ok.

those pretzels aren't the greatest and they were a lot bigger than expected!

After that we came back home and continued to drink some more. Only this time we did it on my front porch while it rained. That was some of the loudest, most bangiest, thunder I've heard in a long time. It gave me heart attacks on occassion. We took too many selfies, laughed way to hard, and had in all around good time. I'm ready to do it again.

only decent one and we still can't get it right.

that's rain, not beer.

Sorry about the shitty quality, I don't have a good steady hand when I've been drinking. Just some of the classicness that is us. Wanna come hang out?

p.s. Drunk Chloe came out, she made me pee outside. More than once.

I Should Learn My Lesson

Wahhh...I'm tired. And I have to leave for work in an hour. I originally wasn't going to post but I changed my mind. What a surprise right.

I really need sleep. I've gone to bed at 2 in the morning two days in a row now. And I have to get up and work early doubles after both of them.

The first night was ok, I couldn't sleep because ManFriend was leaving for Cincinnati Sunday morning. Last night I couldn't sleep because who knows. It blows though.

I cried when I dropped Blake off. It's just weird him doing the traveling. It's always been me that goes somewhere and every time I go somewhere I'm only 4 hours away. So yeah, a little different.

This is just a mash of things in my head. Sorry you get my Monday morning ramblings. Blame it one Blake, if he were here, he'd get them.

I beat iTunes and Apple last night. And I have to admit I'm pretty proud. Danielle (my host friend) had a music downloader app on her phone and I was jealous. I didn't understand how to work it but I wanted one. Then she told me that she paid for that app and I was all "Well fuck that. If I'm downloading free music I'm sure as hell not gonna pay for an app to do it." And she grabs my phone up, logs me out of iTunes, logs herself in and downloads the app on my phone. Tada free app! And free music. But I still feel kinda guilty towards iTunes. I promise I'll maybe still pay for some. My only problem is now I can't think of any songs I want to download. Help a girl out?

It's pumpkin cheesecake time at work. Excuse me as I gain 45 pounds from eating it all the time. I'm just so excited. However, along with pumpkin cheesecake comes fucking unlimited pasta bowl. -.- Fuck that shit. This is when the extreme cheapos come out. I'm gonna wait on Billy Joe Bubba Bob from now until October. Awesome. (If you are or have a Billy Joe Bubba Bob, I'm sorry. Not trying to offend you or your family. Just going with what rednecks around here are named.)

I'm getting drunk with the wife tonight. WOOT WOOT. Maybe. Depends on how tired I am. But she doesn't have to work tomorrow so tonight would be good for her. But tomorrow night would be better for me. How do you decide?

My tv has been fucked up for days. None of the regular channels work but hd does. I don't have an hd tv and I don't even pay for hd. What the fuck? I know I shouldn't get my panties in a bunch but I don't know the channel numbers for hd. And I just don't want hd. #firstworldProblems

We were supposed to have a party on Friday and I was super pumped about it. Now we can't. Sad face. There were some unexpected events and I'm really bummed about it. We have a party once a year and it always rocks. Blake grills and we hangout outside drinking too much and staying up until 6 in the morning. It's so fun. We've done it for two years now but none this year. sad face. I also loved it because we were at our house. Instead of a friend's. Finally we weren't the ones who had to worry about getting home. We both could drink as much as we wanted and pass out in our beds. Of course we let our friends stay over but shit, home is home!

That's all I got today. What's on your mind? Any songs I need to download?

On Fridays We Back Our Asses Up

Whadup cupcakes! Happy Friday to you. I'm off today and work all weekend. I need that money though. And Sunday morning Manfriend is leaving me for his work trip. I'm not freaking out. I've always been the one to go somewhere and it's always been in my car. Not a damn airplane! I know he'll have a good time though.

Anyway...let's high 5 some shit.

1. I made a new friend this week. Tuesday my gma took myself, my wife, teagan, one of my little sisters, and Auntie to build a bear. My aunt and Teagan have an obsession with it. It was the first time I've gone. I made a dog. His name is Cooper. He's a cowboy. Love him!

Cooper and his friends

2. I got a banging swap package from Beth for the PJ Party Swap. Girl can hook it the hell up! I was soooo impressed! More about that next week though. I forgot to take pictures. Ooops.

3. If you follow me on the twatter, then you know that I love the show Street Outlaws. If you don't follow me on twitter you should and now you know that I love that show. Monday was the season finale and unfortunately, a really really cool person on the show lost their lives. It was sad and I took to twitter to share my thoughts. And guess what...my tweet got favorited by my favorite person on the show! I was ecstatic to put it nicely. I was smiling from ear to ear and squealing. It was bad.

4. I'm going to be completely alone for a couple days starting on Sunday. It's been 5 days since I've been alone. Blake is going to be out of town and Teagan is at her dad's house for the week. I'm excited but not excited. We'll see how it goes.

5. It's tax free weekend! I'm gonna get some shopping done today. Does anybody know if this applies online too??

And of course...we're gonna #backthatazzup. 

Unfortunatley on Wednesday night Tone the Cheif Rocca or B-double O-T-Y the one hit wonder man got voted off the show. I was super sad. All he wanted was a one hit wonder. I think he wrote and sang a perfect song. So twerk it while you're listening to this. Tell me how you think it will be go as a one hit wonder.

Pop Some Bottles

Who doesn't love to celebrate? Seriously? Whether we're celebrating being alive, birthdays, holidays, mini goals, accomplishing goals, or we're already just white girl wasted and we're celebrating that, we all love it. Don't pretend you don't love to pop some bottles!

So when I saw that my lover face Jordan had joined a link up called Celebrate Everything, I told her I loved it and I was gonna join too, a couple days late of course. Hopefully the link up is still open!

Here's what I'm popping some bottles about this week.

My aunt has been released from her cardiologist to go back to work after a year long battle with cancer. She won!

Megan is a craft beer lover and has been really awesome and given me some recommendations of what to try. First, I was gonna try RJ Rockers Son of a Peach. But my podunk little ass town didn't have any. None. I called 5 liqour stores (including a Macadoodles), 2 grocery stores, and a gas station, but couldn't find shit. So what did Megan offer to do...send me some in the mail! Bam. Love her. And I'm probably going to have to hit her up for her favorite pumpkin beer too! I'll look first though!

I've been at OG for a year. I got a nice little pin and the best part is that I should qualify for a bonus check. Bam! I can't wait to find out if I get it or not. And I got another raise from them also. It's only when I'm hosting but I'll take a raise. Hell yeah!

Blake got an awesome opportunity to go to Cincinnati with his job. He gets to go to Visa HQ to learn customer service for the brand of cards he represents. They only selected two people and he was one of them. When he comes back they're going to hire a bunch of people and he gets to train them on customer service. Hopefully this eventually leads to a promotion for him.

 I joined a fantasy football team. It's mostly dudes. So I picked the name Tittsburg Feelers. I love it. Because I love boobs. But you knew that. Need a name? Go visit Sarah, she'll help you out.

I'm going to see Blake Shelton and Keith Urban in October. Maybe Florida Georgia Line if tickets are cheap enough. Eeeeep! This will be the second time I've seen Keith. I LOVE him.

This weekend is tax free weekend here in Missouri. Best believe I'm doing as much shopping as I can. I'm a little too excited.

It's almost time for our annual summer party at Blake's house. Shit gets crazy. If any of you wanna come please do! I love your faces. =)