I Just Don't Like It

So  today's post may not be truly orginial. In fact, I'm stealing the idea from Maggie. I thought it was a great idea. One of  those, well, why didn't I think of that? So thanks for the great idea girl. This probably makes me a mess for not coming up with something super original and cool.

I don't like a lot of things. Probably a lot of things that you like. And today, I'm going to share some of them with you.

Salad
No no no. A salad is the quickest, healthiest way to get me to run in the oppisite direction. I just can't get down on lettuce or anything that's soft but has a crunch. Basically, any veggie ever made. Now, while I may not like to eat them, they do occassionally look appealing, but I know that they're not. And fruit salad...get the fuck outta here with that. No way.

DIY

No, you do it yourself. That's what I think any time I see anything remotely diy on pinterest. I know that i have no artistic ability and I don't see a problem with that. I'm sure as hell not going to turn my old t into an awesome racer back work out tank. Nope, if I tried, it would turn out like a scarf. I can almost damn guarantee it. Whatever pretty, fancy schmancy things I need that I could diy, somebody on Etsy works harder and enjoys what they're doing, so I'll just buy it from them. 

Ice Cream

Yep, that's right. I don't like ice cream. How un-American of me right? It's just so cold. I hate cold stuff on my teeth. I crave ice cream about once a year. I don't like it when it melts either. That pisses me off. So much effort to eat something. I want to take my time and eat it when I feel like it, but no. Ice cream is the boss and is all "Eat me now or I'll just melt all over your white shirt and your iphone. Hahahaha."

Katy Perry

Just no. There are not enough words to explain why I can't stand her. I think that her and John Mayer are perfect for each other. They each have their own line of douche baggyness. Except John's music is good and Katy doesn't stand a chance. When I found out her and Russell were divorcing, I was kinda happy for him. I mean yummmmm....have you seen him? I don't think Katy Perry is a real person. Her hair color is fake, her personality seems fake, her music...well, I just can't get behind this one. Look at those crazy eyes.

Look at those crazy eyes. Don't tell me you don't see it.

Vino2Go

This may get me a lot of hate, and I'm sorry you pretty ladies that love it. I just can't. Like, when do you use it? I mean, you can't take it in the car, open container or drinking and driving. So what's the point? I mean I'm a mess but I don't knock over my glasses. Oh no, there's none of that going around. Maybe if somebody wants to just give me one I'll understand it better. Any takers?? I'm willing to let you try and change my mind here.

What do you not like that everybody thinks you're crazy for?

What I'm Loving Wednesday

Happy Hump Day! Halfway through the week for you guys. Unfortunately, not so much for me. I had my two days off Monday and Tuesday and I work doubles all weekend long. Yay for money though!

Since I haven't done this in a while I thought I'd share with you some of my current obsessions for What I'm Loving Wednesday. Let's get this party started shall we.


1. Eric Church's song Sinners Like Me. I was reading somebody's blog and they talked about how this song was the dad and daughter dance at her sister's wedding. Well, I then decided that I had to listen to it. And now I love it. P.S. if you're the person I was reading, let me know so that I can pay major props to you.

2. NYX Roll on Glitter. For one, it's glitter. For two, it's glitter. And in case I didn't mention, it's glitter =). I found this stuff while I was shopping with my favorite hostess Danielle. We were at PacSun (her choice, not mine) and I about died. It's soooo pretty. I almost bought a gold and a pink to make my own rose gold but up at the front they had a salmon color, and damn is it not the perfect rose gold! 

the one on the far left is the salmon!

3.  Maxi Skirts. What can I say? I love me maxi skirts. They're perfect for any occasion and you can dress them up or down. The one I have is long enough to be a dress if I really wanted it to be. Where can I find some more? Anybody have any good deals on them?? Let a girl know.

This one in particular is at Target and I'm gonna go find it after I get off work. 

4. Summer Dresses. I could have grouped this with maxi skirts but I didn't wanna. Again, you can dress them up or down, get them long or short, and if you have a long one you don't have to shave. That's a major score in my book. I hate to shave. True story. I just got a short one from my mama so now it's time for a long one. 

What do you think? Maxi dresses are so much harder to find then skirts. 

5. Pizza. I'm seriously loving the shit out of some pizza right now. It's all I ever want to eat. Mazzios is my go to joint but there's only one in Joplin. So it's Pizza Hut when I'm in Carthage. But our Mazzios has the best ranch dressing to ever grace my taste buds. I LOVE it. They have the best thin crust in all the land too. 

6. My Fatboy. Since we got the puppy he's avoided our room like the plague. I've missed having him to cuddle with. This morning we put Olivia out in the fence with Sadie and Fatboy came running in here like it was nobody's business. He misses us, we miss him. He has what we call a sittin' chair. Blake bought a new computer chair because his was kinda sad looking. Well, Fatboy took it over and every night he would come in as soon as I got home and sit in his sittin' chair. If I sat in it, he would stand on the end table and as soon as I got up he would sit in it. I loves him so much. 

TV Tuesdays

I'm not a huge fan of summer. I appreciate the warmth, but I loathe when boob sweat season starts. I hate being sweaty. It's gross. The one thing that I do love is swimming. But I don't know anybody with a pool. Sad face. And I live on a hill going both directions, so no pool for me! The worst part of summer? The tv. Seriously there is hardly anything on. Ever. And I love tv so when nothing is on I get a little grumpy.

 I didn't watch the season finale of Grey's until today just so I could watch some decent tv. And I cried. That damn show always makes me cry. I promise no spoilers for those of you who aren't caught up (cough cough Jordan cough).

During the summer there are a few shows I look forward to...almost anything on USA. Because I'm really a 78 year old grandma. True story. However, I found out a couple weeks ago that they cancelled Fairly Legal and it was one of my favs. So now I have Necessary Roughness, Royal Pains, and Suits. Womp womp. If I was a cool kid I'd have HBO and of I would religiously watch True Blood. I love that shit.

If I was a good blogger I'd watch an episode of RHO any city. But that seems like a lot of work and catching up I'd have to do. Maybe I could watch Bachelor/ette. But I can't get behind that shit. I understand some of you may looooove it, but I just don't get it. Not at all.




So what do you watch in the summer?

We Survived

Yep, we survived our first week of puppyhood. And I hope you can survive this puppy picture overload.

I owe it all to the booze gods for graciously giving me enough beer so that I wouldn't lose my shit.

No seriously though, what a long week it was. I don't feel like I've ever wanted to bang my head against a wall so much in one week. I've said "no, ouch, that's not yours, Olivia," more times than I think I ever have. And I'm the queen of telling people no. Just ask my mom.

Checking out the scenery

I've come out this week with all of my stuff still in tact. Nothing is chewed up yet, at least not that I'm aware of. Blake might have just thrown it away as to not deal with my hissy fits.

Getting ready to attack my phone. 

I've learned a lot about getting a puppy. Like maybe you shouldn't do it when your life is in the middle of some chaotic changes. Blake started a new job, I started serving, and  we had to get used to Teagan's summer visitation schedule. And for some reason getting a puppy during all of this was a great idea. Or not. I'm surprised I'm not a single lady, for all the crabbiness it seems I've put out there. I was tired. Forgive me! He was tired too. Oops. =)

Nothing is better than tormenting other dogs.

The later half of the week has been much better. She listens a little. OK, she listens a lot but only to Blake. She listens a little to me. This is what I look like when he tells her to do something I just told her to do but she doesn't listen to me.

She's getting used to a routine and sleeping more =) I can't complain about that. When she sleeps I get cuddles because cuddles with this dog don't happen any other time. Ever. EVER. And also, no pictures. Every time I try and take a picture of her she bounces off. So, what's the secret puppy moms? What in the hell do you do?

Do you see how big she got in just a week!

Go hard or go home.

What a Long Strange Trip it's Been...

If there were pms police they would be after me this week. I've been such a crabby, whiny, tired, crazy lady. I decided to fill you guys in with the wonderfulness that you might get to experience if you actually got to hang out with me everyday.


I dropped my child support card out of my shorts pocket and it fell underneath the deck. Not a big deal really, I cancelled it and went on with my life. Later, I went to buy something and realized I actually dropped my debit card. I quietly pouted in my car. Womp womp. No monies for me right now. 


I started to cry because they didn't have any onion rings at BK. Then BK got my order wrong 3 times. I cried a little more. The last time I didn't even bother having them fix it. I just got angry and gave up. 


I cried because I didn't want to do anything and my mom and tea wanted to. They hurt my feelings by saying "We don't have to go then." I lost it. They weren't even being mean.

I'm the cat, this is the look I've been getting all week.

I'm so tired this week that I've spelled my own name wrong on many entries in two different giveaways. Oops.


My blog reader that I use on my phone decided that it was going to connect with another reader service. I updated it and lost all the blogs that I hadn't read yet that morning. I proceeded to yell at my phone even though it didn't matter. 

What I'm trying to say is...I've been a loon. And I'm sorry. Happy Friday cupcakes. Love ya!

Just Kidding...It's Friday so of course there has to be a #backthatazzup Friday song.

Now...Happy Friday Cupcakes. Love ya!

Trixie Here

I kicked my mom off the computer today. I have some things I need to say.

Remember when my mom told you guys about Olivia...yeah, I know, you all oogled all over her and how cute she was. But you're wrong. Wrong I tell you.

See, Tuesday night mom took me over to Dad's (what, your mom and dad don't live in seperate houses? well...more love for me that way) for what I assumed was a nice night out. I love going to dad's. See, he has the biggest yard and I can run for days in it. I was wrong. She took me over there to meet that new little shit I mean my new little sister. And what can I say, I'm not a fan.

All she does is jump on me and bite me. Bitch, you're crazy. The first time she did it, she got one of my hot spots so I yelped to let her know that I don't appreciate that shit. Mom felt bad for me so I got some loves and Olivia got talked to. Me -1, Olivia - 0.

Sticking my tongue out at her. 

When I get to Dad's I try and play with his other dogs but they don't want shit to do with me. I don't understand it. Well, now I do. I guess mom thought bringing me over would be good for me because I would have somebody to play with. Nope, I bit that idea in the ass. Actually, Olivia bit that idea in the ass. hahaha. I'm referring to when she bit my hot spot again. It's literally on my back by my cute little puppy butt. No mom, I won't let it go. It hurt.

I kept trying to get comfy on the couch but she wouldn't let me be. It was so irritating. I just wanted to nap beside Teagan the Terror. Shh mom, I know I'm not supposed to call her a terror but dammit she is! This time I got all up in her grill and scared her. Then mom yelled at me. Something about "Be nice, she's a baby. She doesn't understand why you're being mean she just wants to play with you." Yeah, whatever. Nice try. Dad got on to Olivia and then he sat on the couch with us. he held her down so she'd leave me alone.

So all in all, I don't want any siblings. I just want friends. And apparently my mom doesn't know what friends are. Whatever. I just want somebody like Hawkeye to hangout with. Is that too much to ask?? Well....I'm waiting for an answer. I have to go stare at her until she answers me. I'll see you guys again soon, I hope.

Shit Not To Do

I was riding the struggle bus yesterday and apparently missed my stop because I'm still on it today.

Yesterday work sucked. I cried like 3 times. My head was not in the game that's for sure. And I don't know if I told you but Sunday night I had a party of 7 (originally 8, one left) that left me $5 on their $100 tab. Sweet huh. Well, apparently I pissed them off because they felt the need to email the manager about me and their experience. And now they get a free $100 gift card. Yay for me. I've never gotten a complaint, and it sucks when it happens. I thought that they were perfectly fine because they never acted upset, asked to speak to a manager, or ever said anything was wrong.

And now I have a blog post. Boom.

Today I'll present you with ways to not be a pain in the ass to anybody that serves you. EVER.

1. If you feel there is a problem, speak up about it. We aren't hear to make you have a miserable experience. We actually want you to have a good time. The better of a time you have, the more likely we'll get a good tip. Most of us want to do a good job, and you aren't doing anybody a favor by giving crappy tips and moping.

2. If your server is with a different table and you need them, wait till they are done talking to the table that just got sat to call them over. Seriously, yesterday I was trying to get drink orders for a family of 4 that had just sat down, when my table right behind them says "Yeah, hey can we get more breadsticks." Are you fucking serious? Way to be an adult!


3. Try not to overly complicate your order. I know that people have allergies/certain way they like things/aren't used to eating here, but the harder you make it for me to put your food in, the longer it will probably take to come out. I do want to make you happy and I'll do my best to accommodate you but don't order a salad with a different type of lettuce then what we use, without pepperoncinis, extra tomatoes, onion, and croutons, with ranch and house dressing on the side. Oh, and then yeah, we do want those pepperoncinis after all.

4. I'm more than happy to get whatever you need but I'd appreciate it if you'd ask all at one time. I'd rather get you a drink refill, a salad refill, more napkins, and breadsticks in one trip then four. Because walking back and forth that much gets really old really fast. I'd like to stand in the side station and take a damn breath for a minute. And talk to the other servers so we can share our war stories.

5. Children. This shit gets subpoints. It's not that servers don't like children, we just don't like them when they're in our section. Read this article. It's hilarious.
    - subpoint A. Don't let your child throw food all over the floor. I understand babies can't help it, but for             the love of all things holy, help clean it the fuck up. Where I work we have hokies, things that look like vaccuums but don't make any noise, they don't pick shit up. They just smear wet baby drooled on food in the floor. And if I have to touch it with my hands, you're gonna be voodoo dolled later on.
   - subpoint B. You're five year old doesn't know the different kind of pastas we have. They don't understand that there are different kinds of pasta. Don't keep me at your table for 10 minutes trying to get your child to decide what kind of pasta they want. You're the damn adult, you decide.
  - subpoint C. Don't let them run around like hellions. This isn't your home. We carry big trays of hot ass food with hot ass plates on them. When little Billy Joe gets first degree burns from my food and I lose my job because you're making OG pay your hospital bills, I'll be pissed. Keep them on a leash!!


Now when you go eat, think of me. It'll make you smile. =)