See Ya August

It's Friday. I'm neither excited or disappointed about this. Weird right. My thoughts are jumbled today so youu're gonna get brain mush. Are you ready?

- My draft for my fantasy team is tomorrow. Did I tell you what the name was? Well, incase I didn't it's Tittsburg Feelers. Thanks to Sarah for the wonderful idea. And none of my friends that are playing know that I have a blog so they think I'm a creative genius. Thanks again Sarah! I've done thismuch to prepare for the draft tomorrow. I know, I know. How am I gonna win if I haven't even looked at anything. Last year's winner just picked hot guys and she won. I'm sure Blake is gonna sit me down and teach me way too much for my brain to handle tomorrow.

- Damn Texans beat the Cowboys last night. My blogland bestie Jordan loves the Texans. She's on cloud nine today. I told her not to get used to that shit. What's worse is that I heard the stadium was full of more Texan fans than Cowboy fans. AT OUR OWN STADIUM. Pathetic. I bet they're just pretending they usck this season that way when pre-season is over they can kick ass.

I shouldn't make fun of my own team but this is hilarious. Best caption wins!

- Why are my bills always due at the beginning of the month. My 3 most expensive ones are all due the first 3 days of the month. I'm poor for like a week and a half after that. And about the time I catch back up and think, "Oh, I can go shopping! Woohoo!" it's bill time again. Jeez, life is always getting in the way of fun stuff.

- I'm glad August is over. All it brought to the game was shitty weather. The first two weeks all it did was rain. I thought about building an ark. It's partially started in Blake's back yard. Then, after the rain it brought a terrible heat wave. See ya next year August. You suck, nobody's going to miss you. And while we're at it, let's just skip September and get straight to the good stuff - October! I have so much going on that month and I can't wait!

- If you follow me on insta or twitter than you know that my other blogland bestie Meg sent me a sweet little package. See, here in the middle of the flyover states, it's hard to get craft beer. We get all the trends last, after they're not trends anymore, and it's no different with craft beers. Meg had written a post about fall beers and one of them she loves is called Pumking. I just had to have some, and not to my surprise, you can't get any around here. So the sweet girl sent me a bottle! I've been holding out on trying it but I'll try it tomorrow. I need to know if I like it because I found other websites that will ship it to me. Can't wait for that!

- Work is sucking right now. Apparently when the kiddies go back to school nobody comes out to eat. And when they do they leave their wallets and their brains at home. Speaking of work, I know that you guys love work stories so every Wednesday I try and blog about some. Come check it out.

It's Friday and I need to back my azz up with Whitney. My favorite song off of Luke's new album is finally on GrooveShark. Thanks to whoever uploaded it. I tried but my iTunes is all fucked up so I couldn't do it. Enjoy. Peace out kids.

Waiting Tables Wednesday w.2

You know what...I get paid to watch people eat. It's weird. I mean, when you think of serving you don't think to yourself "oh yeah, my job is going to consist of watching people eat." At least I didn't, not until another server brought it to my attention. And I haven't forgotten it since.

A couple of weeks ago I was waiting on this nice elderly couple. That's about all that comes into OG, but you still needed to know that. As I was watching these people eat, I noticed that they hardly said anything to each other. Unlike our generation, it wasn't because they were nose deep in their facebook feed. I don't really know why it was.

But it got me thinking. Which I do a lot when I'm working because when we're slow, it's just what I do to make the time pass. Do people ever run out of things to say to each other? Can you be with somebody for so long that you don't have anything left to say? Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

I want this.

I can see both sides, because I've thought about it a lot. My first thought was that they were so content in their relationship that they've had together that they can just sit in silence and feel content. I'm a romanticist so I wanted to believe this. I want to believe that people are so happy that they just don't have to talk. I mean, sometimes Blake and I don't talk to each other. And it's not because we're unhappy. I know that some people will disagree with that but to each their own.

Or are they just not speaking to each other because they're unhappy? But they won't get a divorce because they've been together for so long that it's just convenient and easy to stay together. I really don't want this to be the case. I can't imagine just being together because it's what you're used to.

I mean there's always something to say. Whether it be I love you, go fuck yourself, or you're hogging the blankets, there's always something. But isn't there always a story to tell? Do you think people run out of stories? If that's the case, maybe you're around each other too much. But that's an easy fix.

I know that I don't ever want to stop having stories to tell. I don't want to stop talking to Blake.

What are your thoughts? Do you think people can really run out of stuff to say to each other? Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

10 Things...

If you're tired of VMA talk...well I'm sorry. I just didn't wanna blog yesterday because I was actually doing something productive for once. Write that shit down.

So VMA's...something I watch every year. Something I've watched every year for as long as I can remember. I love them. I remember when MTV still played music videos. I remember making the video, TRL with Carson Daly (that's important). That probably means I'm too old for MTV now and days. But I still have to watch. I gotta keep up on the teen pornstars moms yo! I need to experience the culture of West Virginia and their crazy ass antics. Let's not forget about Catfish...my wife doesn't even know what it is. She needs to watch MTV. 

So...here's my list of thoughts on the VMA's this year. 

1. Fuck yes I was watching for N*SYNC. Was there anybody out there besides my wife who wasn't? And I'm not ashamed but there were tears. I told you I'm a crier. My mom even called me out on crying over the phone after we watched it. The 11 year old me was pumped. The 22 year old me was even more pumped. They paved the way for the rest of the so called boy bands. I'm looking at you One Direction. 

2. Kanye...what can you say about him. I'm not sure I like him as a man but as a rapper he's a genius. The only person that can get away with being called Yeesus. Why was he hiding in the dark the whole time? 

Kanye took forever to show his baby and now he won't show himself. Well played sir. Well played.

— Chloe Ashworth (@CloverMarie214) August 26, 2013

3. Katy Perry sang that song Snore...I mean Roar. I'm not a fan. Never have been and don't think I will be. The winner of that fight may have been her, but Russell won the whole divorce. I mean it was just a snoozefest of a finale. I was really disappointed. I thought there would have been explosions or fireworks or something. Nope. Nothing.

4. Bruno Mars was interesting. See, I don't listen to the radio. I don't listen to a lot of music on Songza that isn't country. I'm not a snob, I just don't like change. I like Bruno. I enjoy everything he's done but Grenade. I've never heard a song from him unless it was on the radio. So as far as I was concerned, he didn't sing a lot about gorilla sex. That song was just fucking weird. I like it but I felt awkward listening to it with anybody around. I think my head was tilted to the side the entire time he was performing. But he did a great job. I love listening to him sing.

5. From ramen noodle hair to Hollywood hottie, Justin has done it all. And last night was amazing. They should have just let him perform for Katy too. He's Justin Timberlake. I think he had it right when he said he still runs this bitch. Yes sir, you do. And I had a great tweet to it. Ok, the tweet wasn't great but my hashtag was. And I would love it if it somehow found it's way to Sami's twitter recap. *hint hint* Kidding. Not really.

Damn straight you run this bitch. #ByeByeByeBieber

— Chloe Ashworth (@CloverMarie214) August 26, 2013

6.  Why wasn't there a host? That part left me baffled. The whole show was thrown off to me. I mean, we don't even have to use Kevin Hart ever again because he made fun of N*SYNC, but we need somebody to hold it all together.

7. Little girls shouldn't be allowed to vote for anything. Robin Thicke, Bruno Mars, Justin Timberlake, Pink, Rihanna, and Fun were robbed of awards last night. I know that some of them got some but man for the most part it was less than talented "singers" winning. No thanks.

8. Taylor Swift still can't dance. Maybe she should take some lessons from Miley. At least her surprise face was gone though. It only took like 6 years. Maybe we only have a few left until she learns new dance moves. And why was the camera guy always shooting back to her. Nobody cares.

9. Then there was Miley. I didn't hate it. It was raunchy. But it's what she wanted. She got attention. It wasn't positive attention but it was attention. I say get it girl. Do your thing because you rocked it. Do some squats too though. And stop kissing and grinding on married dudes. I don't care if you hump inanimate objects or twerk, just leave married guys alone. He has kids!

10. Let's all boycott the VMAs next year. I bet they won't compare to this year. And we're too old to watch this shit anyway. Seriously, do you know who any of those newbies were? I didn't.

Lies the TV Tells Me

I love tv. Just love it. But sometimes it lies. Big massive sloppy lies. That piss me off. So today, for things I don't love, I thought I'd tell you about the lies the tv tells me.

1. ITT Tech is bullshit. The tv says that ITT Tech is a great school and tons of people go there. They say that it will change your whole life. Well guess what? I've never met ANYBODY who's gone to ITT Tech which means it's also never changed the life of somebody I know. So what's the deal ITT Tech? When ya just gonna go away?

2. I saw a commercial for that new Nokia Lumia edition 5846598165. You know the one? With the awesome 41 megapixel- I take great wonderful pictures in the dark-you just have to have me right this second phone? Yeah, I heard that it's not that great. I mean, I was gonna buy this phone just for the camera. Ok, not really but I thought about it. Then the AT&T guys told me that it's really not that good and made fun of me for believing everything I see on tv. Like that commercial. And me being me and not believing anything anybody tells me, I trusted my good friend google to show me some pictures. They didn't look that great. They didn't prove they were any better than my trusty iphone. Lies Nokia, LIES.

Found here.

3. Chef Lorena for Taco Bell makes this great "gourmet, healthyish" food and we should all love it. Bitch please. I don't want Taco Hell to be gourmet or healthy. How bad it really is - is what makes it so great. I don't even need to elaborate on this one. And Taco Bell isn't healthy or gourmet no matter how hard you try Miss Chef Lorena. Sorry.

4. Tampon commercials. Everybody knows that a woman is not that happy go lucky while it's her time. No, it's not all rainbows, puppies, and unicorns. It's get-me-chocolate-and-leave-me-the-hell-alone-or-I'll-bite-your-head-off. We don't do gymnastics, go shopping, or even look slightly not miserable during that week. Quit lying.

Really that's all I've got. Just 4 commercials that are getting on my nerves lately. I'm sure there are more but that's all I could stand to watch. I have a DVR for a reason. I can't remember life without one and I don't want to.

I'm linking up with the craziest of them all. The one who gets her vajay waxed and lived to tell about it. Miss Yoga Pants herself.

Real quick back story before I go. 

At OG we used to play old Italian music of course. Well, I guess people started to complain so they changed it up. We now get to listen to modern music. And it's fucking weird. I was hosting last week when we heard the beginning of this song. Well, of course they're not gonna play this song in a family restaurant it was the original jazz version. But it still made me want to get down.

I Live In My Car

I know that I've told you before that my car is a mess. And it really is. However, I've been doing a lot better about keeping it clean. It bugs the shit out of me when it's messy. It's ridiculous the amount of stuff you'd find in my car.

I could live in it though. Seriously. There's so much random shit that I would be ok. So, if you ever see somebody who doesn't look homeless but it looks like they're living out of their car, it might just be me.

This is the passenger side. Always the messiest part. 

I thought I'd take you through a tour of things you might need at any time. My car is like a big purse.

You need to work on something? I have a screw driver you can use. I used it once and never took it back in. And, if you're phone is in bad shape, don't worry. I have a brand new phone case in there too.

Hungry and you don't know what Olive Garden has? Well, I can help you out. Just feel to skim through my product knowledge book and find something that makes you happy. 

I know it's the middle of August but incase it's snowing, I have snow boots and a hoodie too. And another phone case. Don't worry, we have plenty of phone cases. Mountain dew for when we get thirsty and socks if your feets get cold.

So I should clean it out I guess. But I don't wanna. Do you wanna come clean it out for me? Please. You can keep whatever you find that you like. Except for anything in my purse or related to Luke Bryan. 

She's 21

Yep, you read that right. My momma is 21...again. (41 for those who don't wanna do the math.) Shhh don't tell her that I told you. And I was wrong with my math up there. Oops. I put 42 and believed it was right for like 10 minutes. Good thing for editing.

Today is her birthday. 41 years ago, she came into this world and she has made quite a bit of difference. I mean without her, there wouldn't be me. 

I just want her to know that I love her very much. At times, I can be a little brat, I know that. But you put up with all my bullshit. Thank you. 

I could say thank you for a lot of things. And I do thank you for all the things. I just can't write it all here. This would be the never ending blog post. 

You better enjoy being 21 again. It won't happen again until you're 63. Bahahaha. The day is yours. Do with it as you please. But there better be some drinkage happening. 

So let's play dress up. And go grab a beer. Because you're the best mom. Love you.

Drink A Beer

Dear Weekend, Thanks for showing up but you can just keep moving on. I work doubles all weekend. Womp Womp. I haven't worked all weekend long in a long while. And Erntefest is this weekend and I don't know if I can go. But I really wanna.

Dear Work, let's make some of that money ok! I need it. Oh, and thanks for acting like I was going to get my vacation check. Yeah, I didn't. I'm pretty irritated about that.

Dear Blog, we're in a rut this week. That's ok. Just gotta get out of it.

Dear Fantasy Football, you and I need to talk. You need to tell me what website to go to so I know what in the hell I'm looking for. I read Sarah's post but still, I need more. It seemed so much easier last year when manfriend was doing it.

Dear Blog Friends, I love you dearly. Sure do. Sorry if stuff around here is stale. It happens. Keep sticking around. I'm sure it'll be over soon.

Dear Luke Bryan, Thanks for the new album. I love it. But let's stick to singing, that rapping business you try is just not you. Leave it to Blake or the rappers. And announce your new tour dates already. I'm waiting mister!

Dear Target, Now that the kiddies are back at school I can shop in peace. I can't wait.

Dear Fall, I'm ready. I know I keep saying this. I only keep saying it because well I just want you to be here faster. Leggings, sweaters, boots, hot cider, pumpkin everything! And the holidays that you bring, the best! Please hurry now. This teasing shit where it's 55 in the morning and then 80 in the afternoon is for the birds.

Dear Pumking Beer, I'm so ready to try you. Thanks to my sweet bloggy friend Megan my dreams will come true!

And of course, it's time to #backthatazz up with Whitsicle!

Since Mr. Bryan decided to drop his album this week, I'll leave you with one of the good ones. If somebody would like to upload their album to grooveshark that would be awesome. I was going to but the itunes on my computer is stupid. It doesn't even have half of the songs I've bought from them in my library on my computer. Anybody know how to fix that?? Do I just need to sync them up again?